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some advice
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Author:  c83 [ Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  some advice
so i have been spending alot of time with this one girl about 2 months....when we started going out and stuff she had told me that she had just gotten out of a serious relationship and she isnt emotionally ready for anything....so was chilled about it and backed off and about 2 weeks later with her inviting me out for supper we started spending alot of time together basically every day from about 7pm till about 2am i would say about 3 weeks after that when things started getting alittle more she freaked out saying that she just wants to be friends......and a day after that she was messaging me again to come to my place we also went out with a group of friends one night and when i went to the toilet she was walking around the club looking for me....i am keen on her what should i do or you guys back off?
Author:  SexAddict911 [ Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: some advice
Quote:
so i have been spending alot of time with this one girl about 2 months....when we started going out and stuff she had told me that she had just gotten out of a serious relationship and she isnt emotionally ready for anything....so was chilled about it and backed off and about 2 weeks later with her inviting me out for supper we started spending alot of time together basically every day from about 7pm till about 2am i would say about 3 weeks after that when things started getting alittle more she freaked out saying that she just wants to be friends......and a day after that she was messaging me again to come to my place we also went out with a group of friends one night and when i went to the toilet she was walking around the club looking for me....i am keen on her what should i do or you guys back off?

It seems like she is afraid to get hurt. She obviously enjoys you and your company.

If you have a genuine interest in her, simply go at her pace. If you push yourself onto her she may push you away. Enjoy your time with her, while also giving her a sense of security. Don't bring up getting serious, unless she does.

If she does, tell her your feelings. Ensure her that you have no intentions on hurting her and are willing to go at her pace.

There is also a chance that she is not quite over her ex. She may be hanging on to the hope that they will get back together. Hence the mixed signals.

Time will tell all. Be patient.
Author:  papichulo818 [ Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like she needs a little reassurance but that's hard to deduce from your description of the situation. If in fact she has cold feet about relationships due to a fresh experience with a failed one, then I'd follow her lead as to how often you should spend time with her; what I mean by this is allow her to contact you to ask you out, but also every now and then ask her out just so she knows you're interested.

Even more importantly, I'd hangout with her,but not all the time like you've been. Build things slowly, allow her to gain your trust, and at the same time you need to have a life outside of hanging out with her. Often times it's good (and necessary) to take a step back to take two steps forward. Doing so will also give you the opportunity to gain perspective on the situation rather than becoming emotionally entrenched with this person who may or may not be able to meet YOUR needs at this time. This not only means creating opportunities with other girls, but also tending to your own business (schools, hobbies, hanging with your friends etc.).
Author:  c83 [ Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:55 am ]
Post subject: 
thanks for the advice guys :) i gonna follow it and keep you up to date on what happens
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