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Getting feedback from girls?
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Author:  danthedan [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Getting feedback from girls?
When you get rejected from a job interview, they usually give you feedback on how it went and why you were rejected. This is useful as it helps you know how/where to improve for future interviews. Feedback would be useful for dating, so that if a girl rejected you, she could say where you went wrong and you could improve for future girls.

But I recently got rejected by a girl who is a friend of a friend, and when I tried to ask her why she rejected me, all she kept saying was "You're a REALLY great guy, I didn't mean to lead you on", giving no concrete reason as to how I screwed up. She wouldn't say if it was that I was too cocky, too shy, too boring, too 'great'(!), badly dressed, or just not good looking enough for her.

Why are girls so averse (almost allergic) to giving honest feedback on why you're not good enough for them? Is it some female conspriracy to ensure that loser AFC guys never improve so no girls are fooled into getting with them? How can I try and force it out of her EXACTLY why I'm not good enough for her, and how I could improve?
Author:  mickeyjackson21 [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
girls do not give feedback because they do not want to be too blunt or hurt anyone's feelings even though they're hurting the guys they're turned down.

girls are the wrong people to get feedback about women. PUAs give the best feedback and advice.
Author:  danthedan [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 1:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
girls do not give feedback because they do not want to be too blunt or hurt anyone's feelings even though they're hurting the guys they're turned down.

girls are the wrong people to get feedback about women. PUAs give the best feedback and advice.
It would be nice to get feedback from the horse's mouth really. I don't see why they're concerned about that; I know I'm not good enough for her and that hurts enough. So I don't see why they can't just say "You need to do _____ more" or "You did too much of _____".
Author:  Cha-Bra [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 1:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting feedback from girls?
Quote:
When you get rejected from a job interview, they usually give you feedback on how it went and why you were rejected. This is useful as it helps you know how/where to improve for future interviews. Feedback would be useful for dating, so that if a girl rejected you, she could say where you went wrong and you could improve for future girls.

But I recently got rejected by a girl who is a friend of a friend, and when I tried to ask her why she rejected me, all she kept saying was "You're a REALLY great guy, I didn't mean to lead you on", giving no concrete reason as to how I screwed up. She wouldn't say if it was that I was too cocky, too shy, too boring, too 'great'(!), badly dressed, or just not good looking enough for her.

Why are girls so averse (almost allergic) to giving honest feedback on why you're not good enough for them? Is it some female conspriracy to ensure that loser AFC guys never improve so no girls are fooled into getting with them? How can I try and force it out of her EXACTLY why I'm not good enough for her, and how I could improve?
First of all is this girl a friend.. Or, can you act like a friend around her? If your relationship is that of a friend you want to take on for "feedback advice," I ask the specific question, "what did you not like about this or that." Never take it personally. Its just the rejection of the moment of the idea of us in her eyes anyways.

I think the idea "the women" has is something like this. You have got to have some kind of clue what the problem is? Because then what are you in her eyes in terms of value? What do you represent as a person to her?
Author:  Cha-Bra [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 1:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
girls do not give feedback because they do not want to be too blunt or hurt anyone's feelings even though they're hurting the guys they're turned down.

girls are the wrong people to get feedback about women. PUAs give the best feedback and advice.
Ok I dont agree with this..

I have a great feed back girl for all my canned material. Come to think about it I have 2 girls like that. I value the human interaction and feedback from our strictly friends relationship. Plus I do not do canned much often anymore. But when I do I am way more confident about it with the feedback.
Author:  pumpington [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
the problem with this, is girls want to feel pure, and often they can not say what it is, just like alot of them cant honestly reject you, some girls can, some girls cant, depends on the girls, but it is their language, just like when you ask a girl what is it about a guy that makes her attracted to him, she might say a sense of humour, or i like smart guys, or confidence, it is pretty rare that a girl says, i want a guy who is tall, with a big dick, that is good looking and fit that agressively trys to fuck me, but look at the guys she dates, don't take what she says seriously, look at what she responds to, look at the kind of guys she dates, what do they all have in common, are they all funny?, are they all smart?, are they all in bands?, do they all have money?, are they all good looking?, what is it that she goes for, chances are even if you get an answer out of her, it wont be accurate, look for the answer yourself
Author:  Defy [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 4:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
girls do not give feedback because they do not want to be too blunt or hurt anyone's feelings even though they're hurting the guys they're turned down.

girls are the wrong people to get feedback about women. PUAs give the best feedback and advice.
I completely agree on the first part, but not the second.

When I fuck up, I can usually see what I did wrong and don't need feedback.

Sometimes I just can't figure out and in that case I call that girl and ask for the feedback. Once she sees that I am honest about wanting a feedback, she is almost always straight with me, and we end up analyzing situations and comparing experiences.

It is true that sometimes that feedback is not very useful for your improvement, cause she is thinking on one level and operating on another level. But hearing her side of the story and seeing her model of the world is always a good thing.

Also, asking for feedback when you get the girl is great and Style has a great line for this. "When did you first realize that you were attracted to me?"

Cheers!
Author:  Nadine [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Because they don't want to be blunt and they don't want to argument with you about trying again. They don't recognize that you just want the feedback, they'll see it as way of keeping conversation and 'going to try again'.
Author:  danthedan [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Because they don't want to be blunt and they don't want to argument with you about trying again. They don't recognize that you just want the feedback, they'll see it as way of keeping conversation and 'going to try again'.
That's quite irrational. If she rejected the guy because of genuine reasons a, b & c, and she explained this to him in feedback, then he could change and a, b & c could vanish. Then she'd have an otherwise attractive guy at her disposal, who now has no relevant flaws because he just got rid of them.
Author:  Nadine [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Who might cure his flaws, but attraction is allready gone by then. Plus guys who stick around after rejection (is what it feels like) generally don't want to change the flaws, but to convince you that they're not that bad.
Author:  danthedan [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Who might cure his flaws, but attraction is allready gone by then. Plus guys who stick around after rejection (is what it feels like) generally don't want to change the flaws, but to convince you that they're not that bad.
How? If his flaws were acne, BO and a bad hairstyle, and he managed to get rid of them with deodorant, medication and a haircut, there'd be nothing wrong with him.

Why must girls be so fickle & changeable about attraction, it's almost like whether you like a guy depends on which day of the week it is or what you had for breakfast that morning! Either you like them and are all over them like they're a movie star, or they're not good enough for you and you avoid them like the plague. :? Whereas guys will pretty much go for anyone unless she's obese/ugly, and even then they might give her some if there's no-one else around. And girls wonder why guys see girls as such a challenge and have to use sites like this to try and trick girls into feeling that valuable-yet-fickle buzz of attraction!
Author:  Nadine [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hahaha :D
Flaws are not a bad hairstyle and such. If the girls' goal is a guy who can make her laugh, it is not changeable. Same goes for assertiveness, extraversion, you name them. Or if he has different goals, values or political opinions and she is looking for a LTR. Attraction is stable, finding the right guy is hard.
Author:  danthedan [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hahaha :D
Flaws are not a bad hairstyle and such. If the girls' goal is a guy who can make her laugh, it is not changeable. Same goes for assertiveness, extraversion, you name them. Or if he has different goals, values or political opinions and she is looking for a LTR. Attraction is stable, finding the right guy is hard.
Only because you're so picky. You should try being ugly and unwanted for years, then you'd have a reality check and would realise you should stop whining and go for the first good-looking guy who said you were good enough for him. Finding the right guy/girl may be hard, but as long as you can get any decent-looking guy/girl at all, you have no right to complain.
Author:  Nadine [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Where do I complain? I'm very happy being single. If the right person comes along, I go for it, but I won't settle for a decent guy with no attraction. Why would I? Excluding ugly and obese girls is excluding loads of girls, by the way. If you have some insecurity issues, adress them, don't take it out on females who exclude as many guys as you do girls.
Author:  danthedan [ Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Where do I complain? I'm very happy being single. If the right person comes along, I go for it, but I won't settle for a decent guy with no attraction. Why would I? Excluding ugly and obese girls is excluding loads of girls, by the way. If you have some insecurity issues, adress them, don't take it out on females who exclude as many guys as you do girls.
Well I bet you automatically exclude ugly & obese guys. Well as long as a guy is physically good-looking, he is a right person, regardless of his personality and how much of a charismatic womanising alpha male he may or may not be. So why write off someone if they look good enough for you?

You have no idea how lucky you are to be able to choose between several hot guys, when there are so many people like me who have no choice at all with any hot/decent-looking girls. :?
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