This is my first post on this site; I'm not sure if it's in the right section. (sorry)

Persistence is a great value to display to women IMO. It shows that you're going to get what you want despite the obstacles.. But, where is the borderline where you come off as needy or desperate?

I have in the past given up on girls way too early after a girl did not reply to one of my texts or calls.. Just this past weekend this came back to bite me in the ass. A long story short, I gamed this HB10 about 6 months ago; # closed it, and then wasn't able to set up something due to both our schedules. After the first phone call, I sent her a text which I got no reply. I just said fk it, because I figured she was just making excuses and wasn't interested. Saturday night I run into this chick again and was not phazed at all by her and I approach her ask her how's shes doing, etc.. She then drops the bomb on me asking me why I never tried contacting her again. I tell her I tried, but never got a reply and moved on. Much to my surprise she says she never got the text or she would have most definitely responded.

How much time do you give a girl before giving up on her? How many missed calls or ignored texts?

I have run across another interesting situation with a girl I met in one of my classes this quarter. I got some IOIs from a girl and followed it up with a # close a few weeks before the class ended. I got busy during the holiday season, and spinning other plates that I totally forgot to call this girl.

A day after the final I sent her a text laughing at how fast she ran out the door and how happy she was to get the class over with. And in the text I joked that I bet she already sold the book. She replied like 1 minute later with "Haha, no I didn't sell the book yet, did you?"

Now, here's my error, but I don't really give a shit. I go with my instincts most of the time with my game and really don't give a shit about the outcome either way, because I do well regardless. I replied to her text a few hours later at about midnight with "No, I didn't, but I would like to see you again. Maybe we can celebrate being done with that class. "

This was last Thursday night and I still haven't gotten a response. How much more time do I give her to reply? And, do I contact her again? And, if I do contact her again how do you start up the conversation again, without looking desperate or needy? Do I joke about her not replying or what? In the past I would have just forgotten about this girl, but I feel I move on too fast and maybe should be a little more persistent.

Sorry, for the long post.

Hey mate,

in my beliefs, the line between persistance and neediness is one that is personal. depends on her. If you are not physically with her, i dont think you can spot it, unless you crossed it. (like a somewhat cold text, or a flaky email).

Therefor, i never reinitiate contact through email, text, or whatever means of multi media, with one exception, i might give a phone call, in rare occasions. I believe that she will find a way to contact me if she really wants to.

I will reinitiate contact if i would see her in real life, meet her someplace unexpected, or perhaps she is a collegue then i make sure i ll meet her again, for example. You will notice soon enough if she is happy to see you or not. If it doesnt feel right, NEXT!!!

In my opinion, persistance is better when you feel like there is something in the air. But never be afraid to walk away.

cheers!

There is nothing with re-initiating contact with a hey what's up how are you that's not needy its when u say something like I really miss our texts with each other that you look needy. If you want to say hi than do it if she doesn't respond than decide whether this is worth your time.

i used to be the guy who would just stop texting girls first if they didnt initiate after a while. i would delete their number so that i didnt get all needy and text them. then, if they got back to me, cool, and if not, well, NEXT!!!! abundance mentality, plenty of fish in the sea, blah blah blah, etc, etc, etc.

then one day i realized that's wrong. it just doesnt make any sense. why put in a lot of effort to get a girls number, get to the point where youre having regular text conversations with her, then just throw it all away for no reason? just because she doesnt initiate or always respond?

reading braddock's book about text & phone game changed that for me. in it he tells a story about how he met a girl and they had great conversation that night and he got the number. he texted her like once or twice a week for a couple of months without her responding. then one day out of nowhere she responded. they starting texting and he closed her. as it turns out she had a bf the whole time and she doesnt text other guys when she has a bf. well, they broke up and braddock sent her a text and she was single so she finally responded.

the truth is that you dont know whats going on with her. and sending a text message doesnt exactly require tons of effort or investment. so really, you should probably never delete stale numbers and continue to game them. now obviously the key is DOING IT CORRECTLY. and this is with low investment texts. if you send her "hey hows it going?", that's bad. why? well, first of all, it's boring. second, if she responds its pretty much guaranteed to start a multi-message conversation that she will have to invest in (and, again, it'll probably be a boring conversation). third, if she doesnt respond, it severly lowers your value.

however, something like the community staple "i just met your twin" works much better. its more interesting. the conversation probably wont be boring. the best part is that if she doesnt respond, it doesnt lower your value. because you havent asked for anything. this text doesnt have to be responded to.

so for me, ive found that sending an interesting, low investment text once every couple of weeks or so to stay on the radar of girls that arent responding as much as i'd like is better than just cutting them out completely. also, you are building a connection (albeit very slowly) so that when the time is right you can be there to take advantage. and like i said, it doesnt cost much in terms of time and investment and you can do it without hampering any other aspects of your game.

I disagree.

By itself there is nothing wrong with hey or whats up. Its the intention behind it. Why would you do it? Not because you genuinly want to know how she is doing. If you are completely honest with yourself, you would do it to grab her attention. Some might even do it to see how she will respond, because they fear that the spark that was there the day before might have been lost! So lets grab her attention before she forgets!

Usually, the danger is in the fact that she responds. Glad to even have had a response, guys tend to push her into a neverending text conversation, one that is hard for her to put a stop to. So she usually will start to ingore texts after a couple, which results into more insecurity for the guy. etc etc.

I just dont reinitiate, confident that she will get back to me when she can. If she doesnt, better luck next time. NEXT!!!

cheers