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Advice 4 a AFC
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Author:  Jiggalt [ Sun Dec 25, 2011 10:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Advice 4 a AFC
I'm still new to the PUA scene/community and learning something new everyday...there's obviously a lot to take in.
Just want to know what is the most important lesson or advice you would give to a beginner
Author:  LavaZone [ Sun Dec 25, 2011 10:52 pm ]
Post subject:  hey man
this advice is not going to make you happy, but a good success plan is simply: Fail, fail,fail,fail,fail,fail, success!

don't worry though, I'm in the stage that's repetitive failure too.
Author:  LD [ Mon Dec 26, 2011 8:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey guys,

for both of you:

take it easy. PU is mostly about personal growth. Your goal from the start should be getting laid, that is true, but you know that wont be on the first try. So take it one step at the time.

Depending on who you are, conquer your fear one at the time. Every fear you conquer is a success, another step closer to that lay.

For me, it started with just approaching and see how long the interaction could take. Approach, approach. Then it was exchanging phonenumbers. When i had a collection of phonenumbers and some "dates", it was: how to turn up the heat, how to amplify that sexuality, etc etc.

The best advice in my opinion for a beginner is twofold: go out to try, adapt on fail. Try, read, go out, try again, try something else, perhaps you have an idea of yourself, try it out, no matter how ridiculous it seems. If you are worried about other people, what they might think of you, then you should think: at least i had the balls to do this!

good luck amigos
Author:  Jiggalt [ Mon Dec 26, 2011 4:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks man Good advice..So far I haven't found the perfect method that suits me and even though I've been getting Negative results i won't let that stop me from reacting my goals.

I have a few things which I'm trying to resolve such as Social Anxiety , Improve my confidence, Get a girlfriend (Never had 1 by the way) and Finally be able to loose my virginity.I find myself wanting to constantly talk due to my immediate feelings, while caring too much about others judgement.

Please give me feedback on what I can do. Starting points, other books I can read. Or challenges i can try.I am an open book, so anything really essential for improving my game.THANKS BRO your advice really helps
Author:  LD [ Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
yo mate,

well, for your social anxiety, it helps if you can make conversation. For that, i would say read Juggler his books, if you can get your hands on them. Also, just randomly talk to people. dont have to be conversations taht take hours and hours, just a few lines can do miracles.

Confidence grows by doing shit, crossing your limits, challenging your beliefs and conqering your fears. To get more confident, do more. If it fails, at least you can tell yourself that you had the balls to go for it.

To get a girlfriend amigo, you are going to need to do some soulsearching. Find out what it is you really want in a women. Not only on superficial level like looks and musicstyle (such qualities suck) but on a deeper level. Does she need to be adventurous or shy, social or rather on the quiet side. Whatever you want. Then go look for that girl and dont be happy with anybody that doesnt fullfill half of hte qualities you are looking for, just because she is beautiful.

Read up on sex, but dont worry, as the most fun part of sex is the exploring. Dont be shy because you are a virgin. It only means that exciting times are awaiting.

good luck. if you got more questions, shoot.

cheers!
Author:  Jiggalt [ Tue Dec 27, 2011 1:07 am ]
Post subject: 
My main issue with social anxiety is that i'm not an interesting person. Most of the time i realise that im boring in conversations or run out of things to say..but at least i try.I have one of Juggler's book conversational jujitsu i will read it as soon as i get the chance. :D

Regarding my confidence i'm going to start challenging myself. Thanks for the advice bro..I think this is my main problem because i have many limiting beliefs which stop me from progressing. As you say "To get more confident, do more."

With the Girlfriend issue..is that out of all my friends I'm the only one who hasn't experienced that yet. I also have not thought of the type of girl that would be best for me. You are right tho Beauty with no brains is not attractive..For me i think confidence is the sexiest thing on a lady, i want a confident girl.

haha with sex there's allot of questions i have on that topic lol..Let me read a book first if it doesn't answer all my questions I'll definitely come to you 4 advice

Really Appreciate all your help Bro you really helping with my progress :D
Author:  Bamp [ Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
My main issue with social anxiety is that i'm not an interesting person. Most of the time i realise that im boring in conversations or run out of things to say..but at least i try.I have one of Juggler's book conversational jujitsu i will read it as soon as i get the chance. :D

Regarding my confidence i'm going to start challenging myself. Thanks for the advice bro..I think this is my main problem because i have many limiting beliefs which stop me from progressing. As you say "To get more confident, do more."

With the Girlfriend issue..is that out of all my friends I'm the only one who hasn't experienced that yet. I also have not thought of the type of girl that would be best for me. You are right tho Beauty with no brains is not attractive..For me i think confidence is the sexiest thing on a lady, i want a confident girl.

haha with sex there's allot of questions i have on that topic lol..Let me read a book first if it doesn't answer all my questions I'll definitely come to you 4 advice

Build conversation skills by engaging everyone that you encounter with small talk...dude its so easy you can do it. Don't over think a type cause in the end you will probably be wrong cause you have no idea what you want or need. Just get out there and converse with everyone...your biggest obstacle is you

Really Appreciate all your help Bro you really helping with my progress :D
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:43 am ]
Post subject: 
go out and take action
Author:  LavaZone [ Wed Dec 28, 2011 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  EXACTLY!
Exactly LD, I did leave out the vital step of "learn" between those failures. and when I say failure, I don't mean beat yourself up over not F-Closing, I simple mean falling short of the main prize you want.

Baby stepping and congratulating yourself on small successes is a big part of it. I know we've all wanted to just wake up a new person at some points in our lives, but unfortunately change takes great effort, and is often so gradual that you don't realize it until you look back.

As for social anxiety, just like LD said, just start conversations every chance you get. Even a bad conversation is a good step.

As for caring too much what others think, it really all boils down to a bad habit of seeking approval. Here's how I defeated it, no joke this is what I did. this will also help with your social anxiety. Go to the nearest college campus with ten one-dollar bills and offer to pay people a dollar to insult you. try to either burn through the $10 bucks, or leave when you have an epiphany (don't use that last phrase as an excuse to wimp out.) I have a feeling you'll learn exactly what I did and I want you to learn it first hand.

the second thing I did to stop seeking approval was wear a rubber-band on my wrist always, and when I caught myself trying to gain approval with words or actions (or lack of) I would snap it on me to associate approval seeking with physical pain. this helps the brain to rewire some of its survival tendancies. understand that you aren't punishing yourself for bad behavior, I am not suggesting self resentment. this is you being your friend, because we both know it's time for a little tough love.
Author:  LavaZone [ Wed Dec 28, 2011 12:19 am ]
Post subject:  oh and about the rubber-band thing
The rubber band Idea was something I came up with as a personal assignment to do for one week, I ended up doing it nonstop for months, but it really did help. at first I would hide it, such as snap myself under the table so no one notices I just did it, but by the end I was blunt with it and when people asked, "why did you just do that" I'd plainly say, "because I caught myself caring what you think of me."

I hope it works for you as well as it did for me
Author:  danthedan [ Wed Dec 28, 2011 1:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: EXACTLY!
Quote:
As for caring too much what others think, it really all boils down to a bad habit of seeking approval. Here's how I defeated it, no joke this is what I did. this will also help with your social anxiety. Go to the nearest college campus with ten one-dollar bills and offer to pay people a dollar to insult you. try to either burn through the $10 bucks, or leave when you have an epiphany (don't use that last phrase as an excuse to wimp out.) I have a feeling you'll learn exactly what I did and I want you to learn it first hand.
What did you learn? What's the epiphany? Do you find out what you need to change about yourself or something?
Author:  danthedan [ Wed Dec 28, 2011 1:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: EXACTLY!
Quote:
As for caring too much what others think, it really all boils down to a bad habit of seeking approval. Here's how I defeated it, no joke this is what I did. this will also help with your social anxiety. Go to the nearest college campus with ten one-dollar bills and offer to pay people a dollar to insult you. try to either burn through the $10 bucks, or leave when you have an epiphany (don't use that last phrase as an excuse to wimp out.) I have a feeling you'll learn exactly what I did and I want you to learn it first hand.
What did you learn? What's the epiphany? Do you find out what you need to change about yourself or something?
Author:  LavaZone [ Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
What I learned was actually about other people in general, I'll pm you.
Author:  Wall1e [ Sun Jan 01, 2012 3:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
rubber band, excellent!
That is freaking genius, why did I not think of it, it's a good way to work with trial and error to condition yourself.
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