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don't act like an idiot just becauses she has a bf
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Author:  bartm [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:  don't act like an idiot just becauses she has a bf

I learned this the hard way.
I was supposed to work with this girl in my class. I found out she has a boyfriend so i thought "who the hell cares what she thinks of me" I started making a lot of jokes about the people of her country (offensive jokes). I also made fun of her religion (I knew she is religious). I thought who cares, she has a boyfriend and has no interest in me.

Then I found out that she has hot friends! AND...this hurts the most...AND one of the friends may have been interested in me.

How could I be so stupid? Is it true that as soon as you think you have it all figured out, you realize you don't?

Author:  Snarg [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: don't act like an idiot just becauses she has a bf

Quote:
Is it true that as soon as you think you have it all figured out, you realize you don't?
Out of everything I have learned with respect to women, that sentence sums it all up for me the most.

Author:  GKS [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

There is a famous saying. "Never burn your bridge".

Author:  charblad [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

Even if a girl is taken theres no reason not to be friends, it will give you someone to practice on and if you have AA get over your fear of talking/approaching females.
+ a lot of girls like to play "matchmaker" and will try to hook one of their friends up with you if they like you a lot, almost nothings better than a girls best friend saying "this guy is perfect for you"

Author:  bartm [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
a lot of girls like to play "matchmaker" and will try to hook one of their friends up with you if they like you a lot, almost nothings better than a girls best friend saying "this guy is perfect for you"
does it work in the opposite direction as well? if a girl says "this guy is a prick, he makes racist jokes, he would be a terrible choice" ?

Author:  charblad [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:10 am ]
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Sadly yes, girls will talk about you to all their friends, good, bad, or indifferent

Author:  Ilium [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:46 am ]
Post subject: 

+1 to the lesson learned in this thread. I've has had the attitude of "If she is not single, maybe one of her friends is!"

Author:  Steven Miles [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:02 am ]
Post subject: 

It never hurts to have plenty of friends. If you had thought about what you were doing then you could have left that class far better than you went in, but you clearly realise that. Hindsight's a bitch. Eh, win some lose some.

The one thing to take from this isn't that you never know it all, it's that you should think about your every action.

Author:  Wall1e [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

dunno if this is AFC:
i walked used my finger to get a girl over to me. She told me she had a boyfriend. I talked a little bit longer then i asked, introduce me to your friends. She kinda 'introduced' me, and i talked to the girl which had the best looks and i number closed.

This also happened to me:
Last summer i went on holiday. Saw a girl, walked up to her (i was AFC then still) and i talked to her. She told me that she had BF but then she said which of her friends were available. And i could choose which one i wanted to talk with haha:P'

Hope this makes something clear. But i don't really think it's good to ask a girl, how about your friends?

Author:  bartm [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

hi guys
is it possible for me to recover from this? can i email the girl and say "you know, in real life I am not that guy that keeps making racist jokes. I am a good guy"
that's kind of weird....I guess there is nothing i can do to make this better?

Author:  Snarg [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

You're pretty much screwed, unfortunately. You could just change for the better and show her you're a new man, but that takes a lot of time, effort, dedication, and above all else, maturity.

Author:  7000 [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

Is it true that when you think you have it all figured out you don't?

Why did you think offensive jokes about her race and her religion were part of "figuring it all out"? Where has being offensive ever been a part of anything you've ever read on here? Cocky and funny maybe. A bit of light teasing maybe. Even the odd put down if she's acting a bit spoilt. But none of these would constitute racist jokes or slagging off her religion. Why would you do those things unless you were basically just a scummy human being? Certainly I don't think anything on here has told you to put on an act to that extent, and if you've read into things that you should, then I suggest you read more closely next time.

As for the more general point of not being a dick in general - again, why would you? Even if the girl hasn't got hot friends, her average friends might have good looking friends. And so on and so on. Having a wide social circle allows you to meet loads of people, who knows what you might find. Even if a friendship circle doesn't result in meeting any hot girls, it gives you something to do. Girls like men who are social, who have lots of friends, who aren't just sat at home all day waiting for them to call. So why would you ever deliberately act like a dick to anyone? The more friends you've got, the better, for both your general lifestyle, and your pickup.

I really amy struggling to see how you thought you had it "all figured out" before this!! Sorry if that's harsh man, I'm not trying to slag you off, but it just seems like you have got a lot of learning to do!

Author:  bartm [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I really amy struggling to see how you thought you had it "all figured out" before this!! Sorry if that's harsh man, I'm not trying to slag you off, but it just seems like you have got a lot of learning to do!
What I meant is that I thought I had it all figured out: if she is hot and available, behave normally. If she is not available, who cares? behave like a moron. Then I realized this rule is not a good one because she might have hot friends. so when i thought i had it all figured out, I realized I don't: she might have hot friends.

now i understand that you are baffled why i made all those jokes. I was just trying to get her playful. For example, I thought I would say "the people of your country are all lazy" and she would say "no they aren't fuck you" and then punch me in the arm and I would punch her back and say "yes they are" and we would get playful. I didnt know she would take it so seriously. now i know what you are thinking, "if you knew she had a boyfriend, then why did you try to get playful?" I really dont know, I was trying to experiment with her but i also knew she was unavailable.

so how do you guys make sure that your jokes are not taken seriously?

Author:  sammy boy [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:34 pm ]
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even iff she did have a bf , at some point shes going to have an argument or a 'rough patch' then iff she trust you shel be resdiding in you

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