PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Very difficult situation. Help needed!
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=123888		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Bane82 [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Very difficult situation. Help needed!
I have been in pick up for about a year now and in that year I consider myself pretty successful, I have been with 12 girls so far this year most who have wanted relationships with me and all of which I have felt werent right for me. I recently went on a date with a girl who I think is absolutely amazing, we really hit it off. Comfort and Connection levels were abnormally high for a first date we have virtually everything in common, she has every quality I have ever looked for in a girl. She was giving off massive IOI's including laughing at all of my jokes, playfully hitting me, smiling at me the whole time, loads of eye contact and we kissed passionately at the end of the date. I was very confident, displayed attractive qualities and just about played the perfect game. However this was five weeks ago and I havent been able to get a second date with her since.

She has an incredibly busy social life and says she does want to see me again but is very busy. I may have come across a little needy with some of the texts I have sent as I let my emotions take over instead of thinking things through. Im not sure how to turn the situation around in my favour, I decided not to text her so that I dont appear desperate, that was a week ago and there has been no contact since. Im pretty sure she isnt seeing someone else. Im sure im going to get a ton of responses saying move on or forget about her but I must stress that this is the first case of oneitis I have had in about five years, I never have strong feelings for any girl I date and my standards for a potential girlfriend are incredibly high.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. I should also add that despite her being incredibly bubbly and social she has some emotional issues, not in a bad way but she went through something incredibly traumatic and heartbreaking sometime ago the kind of thing that a lot of people would never recover from. I dont want to say what it is out of respect for her and am only mentioning it because it is relevant to the situation.
Author:  TheBowser [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very difficult situation. Help needed!
Texting is a bitch isnt it? And overly social women?

The easiest thing to do in this situation is to stop the texting and go see her in person. Be that confident person you were and tell her shes going on a date with you.

Then fuck her.
Author:  Bane82 [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Not possible, dont know where she lives and would be incredibly forward and needy. I havent text her and am not planning on texting her until sometime after Christmas, but im not sure what to say "hey, how was your christmas" seems a little boring and predictable to me. She doesnt seem like the kind of girl who likes leading guys on, trust me ive met many of them and can spot them a mile away. Plus I have several times made it very easy for her to get out of it by texting and saying lets just forget about it because you dont seem interested, she has text back saying she is interested but has very little free timeh. Its pissing me off because its very difficult to display confidence, ambition, humour, breaking rapport and qualification through text messaging. If I get a second date I am totally confident that I will bring my A game and build her investment the problem is getting that second date.
Author:  SignAFC [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Not possible, dont know where she lives and would be incredibly forward and needy. I havent text her and am not planning on texting her until sometime after Christmas, but im not sure what to say "hey, how was your christmas" seems a little boring and predictable to me. She doesnt seem like the kind of girl who likes leading guys on, trust me ive met many of them and can spot them a mile away. Plus I have several times made it very easy for her to get out of it by texting and saying lets just forget about it because you dont seem interested, she has text back saying she is interested but has very little free timeh. Its pissing me off because its very difficult to display confidence, ambition, humour, breaking rapport and qualification through text messaging. If I get a second date I am totally confident that I will bring my A game and build her investment the problem is getting that second date.
Then tell her to call you to hang out when she isnt busy and leave it at that. Quit wasting your trying to schedule something and having her flake. Let her schedule it. If she doesn't then so be it... Should've brought your A game on the first date, now it's too late.
Author:  TheBowser [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Not possible, dont know where she lives and would be incredibly forward and needy. I havent text her and am not planning on texting her until sometime after Christmas, but im not sure what to say "hey, how was your christmas" seems a little boring and predictable to me. She doesnt seem like the kind of girl who likes leading guys on, trust me ive met many of them and can spot them a mile away. Plus I have several times made it very easy for her to get out of it by texting and saying lets just forget about it because you dont seem interested, she has text back saying she is interested but has very little free timeh. Its pissing me off because its very difficult to display confidence, ambition, humour, breaking rapport and qualification through text messaging. If I get a second date I am totally confident that I will bring my A game and build her investment the problem is getting that second date.
Dude I know exactly how you feel. I just went to my HB's house 2 days ago, had a wonderful night, but now my texting game is killing me. I think its best to call. Call or you can wait until after the holidays. Waiting can work wonders.
Author:  Bane82 [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
My phone game is super weak and unpracticed I always text girls instead of speaking on the phone I feel weird talking to girls over the phone but I thrive in a face to face environment. One element of my plan is to portay a great social life through my facebook profile with loads of pics of me and my friends having fun, pics of me looking my best etc and girls always comment on my profile updates often in a flirty way (pre-selection) and basically just showing that I am a fun guy with a great social life and a ton of friends. Which is obviously a very attractive trait to portay. I think I have undone a lot of the good work I put into the date with a few needy text messages I have sent, the key is to try and undo the neediness displayed as much as possible but at the same time I dont want to leave it too long without contact because I dont want to run the risk of her meeting someone else.

By the way my game was very strong on the first date, I have never seen a girl display so many IOI's on a first date. The only criticism I can throw at the first date was I broke rapport very well but probably not as much as I should have and I didnt qualify that much. She did say in the last text "I will let you know when I have some free time up my sleeve
Author:  SignAFC [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
My phone game is super weak and unpracticed I always text girls instead of speaking on the phone I feel weird talking to girls over the phone but I thrive in a face to face environment. One element of my plan is to portay a great social life through my facebook profile with loads of pics of me and my friends having fun, pics of me looking my best etc and girls always comment on my profile updates often in a flirty way (pre-selection) and basically just showing that I am a fun guy with a great social life and a ton of friends. Which is obviously a very attractive trait to portay. I think I have undone a lot of the good work I put into the date with a few needy text messages I have sent, the key is to try and undo the neediness displayed as much as possible but at the same time I dont want to leave it too long without contact because I dont want to run the risk of her meeting someone else.

By the way my game was very strong on the first date, I have never seen a girl display so many IOI's on a first date. The only criticism I can throw at the first date was I broke rapport very well but probably not as much as I should have and I didnt qualify that much. She did say in the last text "I will let you know when I have some free time up my sleeve
Dude then let her schedule it and leave it at that... if she wants to hang out with you she will. Just like if you had a busy schedule and you really like a girl, I'm sure you would find what little free time you have and fit her in it. Let me her do the same.
Author:  GallowGlass [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:35 am ]
Post subject: 
I totally agree with sign. You've done what you need to do, let her come to you. If you try to force her you'll just make it worse.

And don't rely on texting, texting is the worst thing for relationship. It has never, ever worked for me for loads of reasons. You aren't talking face to face. Your not even talking to the same person, just to who she wants to be, who she is when she has thirty seconds to think about it. Texting also creates a level of familiarity that doesn't translate to real life. Which makes it awkward when you actually do meet up. Forget texting, you've got to talk to her face to faace.

Also that facebook thing is a little sad. You shouldn't use facebook as a way for you to create a perfect life. Get it for real!
Author:  Kieran Black [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
My phone game is super weak and unpracticed I always text girls instead of speaking on the phone I feel weird talking to girls over the phone but I thrive in a face to face environment. One element of my plan is to portay a great social life through my facebook profile with loads of pics of me and my friends having fun, pics of me looking my best etc and girls always comment on my profile updates often in a flirty way (pre-selection) and basically just showing that I am a fun guy with a great social life and a ton of friends. Which is obviously a very attractive trait to portay. I think I have undone a lot of the good work I put into the date with a few needy text messages I have sent, the key is to try and undo the neediness displayed as much as possible but at the same time I dont want to leave it too long without contact because I dont want to run the risk of her meeting someone else.

By the way my game was very strong on the first date, I have never seen a girl display so many IOI's on a first date. The only criticism I can throw at the first date was I broke rapport very well but probably not as much as I should have and I didnt qualify that much. She did say in the last text "I will let you know when I have some free time up my sleeve
'heyyy (insert name here) had a gr8 time with you the other nite, want to do it again soon? :) x'

Look familiar?

This is your run of the mill generic text a girl receives from a guy who is not confident enough to call. When a girl gets a text like this 9 times out of 10 she will roll her eyes and think to herself "why can't I meet a real man with the balls to actually call me?" then she will just throw it on top of the generic text pile.

Unless she is desperate/inexperienced enough to go for a guy who sends a text like this, in which case you will be in luck, however most of the time you have just disapointed them by playing it safe.

Women do not want safe, they do not predictable, they want to be swept off their feet, they want to be wowed, they want to have stories about the two of you that will make their friends jealous. You could be the best thing that ever happened to her but she will never find out because you lacked the courage to pursue her like a confident alpha man.

You are what I like to call a 'selective learner', you have studied game for a year correct? I bet you have mastered all sorts of facets of it, maybe you approach like a rockstar, maybe you fuck like a pornstar, good for you.

But... You are shying away from your full potential, rather than mastering all the basics and focussing on improving the weak aspects of your game you are just skipping over it in the hope that your other areas of awesomeness will compensate for it, it wont.

If you know you are a 'weak caller' then this is what you should be concentrating on improving because otherwise your game is a glass cannon, it might look good on the outside but it is fragile and full of weakspots because you have neglected to improve all aspects of your game preferring to concentrate your energy on improving on things you were already reasonably good at in the first place.

You don't feel confident to call her? All the more reason to call, start taking your game to the next level, be the best.

Don't know how to call? start here "How to seduce girls on the phone" http://wayoftheplayer.com/the-best-of-w ... the-phone/ This article will give you everything you need to get started.
Author:  Bane82 [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I totally agree with sign. You've done what you need to do, let her come to you. If you try to force her you'll just make it worse.

And don't rely on texting, texting is the worst thing for relationship. It has never, ever worked for me for loads of reasons. You aren't talking face to face. Your not even talking to the same person, just to who she wants to be, who she is when she has thirty seconds to think about it. Texting also creates a level of familiarity that doesn't translate to real life. Which makes it awkward when you actually do meet up. Forget texting, you've got to talk to her face to faace.

Also that facebook thing is a little sad. You shouldn't use facebook as a way for you to create a perfect life. Get it for real!
Totally agree with you on texting, I hate texting as a form of communication and I pretty much only use texts to arrange meet ups. My problem is that what with the second date proving so damn elusive I have pretty much nothing else to rely on. I know you are right about waiting for her to contact me and that is what I am going to do, my concern is what is the time limit. I mean if she doesnt contact me in two months do I wait two months or do I do something to try and help the situation? I think texting in the new year is a good option because there has been a long gap without any contact so the text wont necessarily look needy (depending on the message I send).
Author:  GallowGlass [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:06 am ]
Post subject: 
If she doesn't contact you for 2 months then i suggest you forget about it. She probably just isn't into you. Don't worry about it. Unrequited feelings are a bitch but, you win some and you lose some. If she does text you after 2 months of silence then blow her off. Fuck her! You have to develop a bit of respect for yourself
Author:  Bane82 [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
My phone game is super weak and unpracticed I always text girls instead of speaking on the phone I feel weird talking to girls over the phone but I thrive in a face to face environment. One element of my plan is to portay a great social life through my facebook profile with loads of pics of me and my friends having fun, pics of me looking my best etc and girls always comment on my profile updates often in a flirty way (pre-selection) and basically just showing that I am a fun guy with a great social life and a ton of friends. Which is obviously a very attractive trait to portay. I think I have undone a lot of the good work I put into the date with a few needy text messages I have sent, the key is to try and undo the neediness displayed as much as possible but at the same time I dont want to leave it too long without contact because I dont want to run the risk of her meeting someone else.

By the way my game was very strong on the first date, I have never seen a girl display so many IOI's on a first date. The only criticism I can throw at the first date was I broke rapport very well but probably not as much as I should have and I didnt qualify that much. She did say in the last text "I will let you know when I have some free time up my sleeve
'heyyy (insert name here) had a gr8 time with you the other nite, want to do it again soon? :) x'

Look familiar?

This is your run of the mill generic text a girl receives from a guy who is not confident enough to call. When a girl gets a text like this 9 times out of 10 she will roll her eyes and think to herself "why can't I meet a real man with the balls to actually call me?" then she will just throw it on top of the generic text pile.

Unless she is desperate/inexperienced enough to go for a guy who sends a text like this, in which case you will be in luck, however most of the time you have just disapointed them by playing it safe.

Women do not want safe, they do not predictable, they want to be swept off their feet, they want to be wowed, they want to have stories about the two of you that will make their friends jealous. You could be the best thing that ever happened to her but she will never find out because you lacked the courage to pursue her like a confident alpha man.

You are what I like to call a 'selective learner', you have studied game for a year correct? I bet you have mastered all sorts of facets of it, maybe you approach like a rockstar, maybe you fuck like a pornstar, good for you.

But... You are shying away from your full potential, rather than mastering all the basics and focussing on improving the weak aspects of your game you are just skipping over it in the hope that your other areas of awesomeness will compensate for it, it wont.

If you know you are a 'weak caller' then this is what you should be concentrating on improving because otherwise your game is a glass cannon, it might look good on the outside but it is fragile and full of weakspots because you have neglected to improve all aspects of your game preferring to concentrate your energy on improving on things you were already reasonably good at in the first place.

You don't feel confident to call her? All the more reason to call, start taking your game to the next level, be the best.
My concern with calling her is that she is often at parties, with friends or going to gigs so it might be hard to pick the right time to call. I do have to say that my texts are better than that they are usually something like "hey cutie, got a mega busy week ahead of me but I think i would be fun to hang out at some point, let me know when you are free and maybe we can arrange something"
Author:  Kieran Black [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:28 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
My concern with calling her is that she is often at parties, with friends or going to gigs so it might be hard to pick the right time to call. I do have to say that my texts are better than that they are usually something like "hey cutie, got a mega busy week ahead of me but I think i would be fun to hang out at some point, let me know when you are free and maybe we can arrange something"
Even if she can't hear what you are saying and you have to hang up the call and send her a text it still shows her that you have balls enough to call in the first place.

When you do send texts you will get much better results if you keep them short and intriguing I guarantee it, less is more.

eg.

You wont believe what I just saw...
I just had the most incredible idea...
You'll never guess what just happened...

Curiousity will make her reply and you have re-established communication, now you have the power once more, you know she's at her phone so you can call, if she doesn't answer then leave it and she will probably call back, if not then you wait a couple of days and call again.

I'll be honest, the text example you gave me sounds long winded and needy, it just looks like you care way too much and take yourself too seriously, if I was a girl I wouldn't write back to that either even if I thought we really hit it off, it doesn't matter, if you can not re-establish that good vibe you had between you at the time she will forget why she liked you, women cool off after a couple of days at least with a phone call she will hear your voice and you will have a real interaction, it will take her back to that good place and remind her of what you shared.
Author:  Bane82 [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
My concern with calling her is that she is often at parties, with friends or going to gigs so it might be hard to pick the right time to call. I do have to say that my texts are better than that they are usually something like "hey cutie, got a mega busy week ahead of me but I think i would be fun to hang out at some point, let me know when you are free and maybe we can arrange something"
Even if she can't hear what you are saying and you have to hang up the call and send her a text it still shows her that you have balls enough to call in the first place.

When you do send texts you will get much better results if you keep them short and intriguing I guarantee it, less is more.

eg.

You wont believe what I just saw...
I just had the most incredible idea...
You'll never guess what just happened...

Curiousity will make her reply and you have re-established communication, now you have the power once more, you know she's at her phone so you can call, if she doesn't answer then leave it and she will probably call back, if not then you wait a couple of days and call again.

I'll be honest, the text example you gave me sounds long winded and needy, it just looks like you care way too much and take yourself too seriously, if I was a girl I wouldn't write back to that either even if I thought we really hit it off, it doesn't matter, if you can not re-establish that good vibe you had between you at the time she will forget why she liked you, women cool off after a couple of days at least with a phone call she will hear your voice and you will have a real interaction, it will take her back to that good place and remind her of what you shared.
Thanks, that sounds like some really great advice. I will definitely do that a couple of days after Christmas. I think it might be good to send a "You'll never guess what just happened..." with the follow up text after she replies saying "way too much to explain over a text, are you free to talk?" so that it makes it easier to call her and helps build a little more intrigue.
Author:  Kieran Black [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:07 am ]
Post subject: 
I wouldn't even bother with any follow up text after she replies, just don't text back build the suspense and then call her when it's convenient for you if she doesn't call you first.

Even if she goes, 'so what happened?', you could turn it on her and say 'haha cant believe you fell for that... i just wanted to get your attention'
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/