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Did I try too hard to fclose? next move?
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Author:  martini17 [ Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Did I try too hard to fclose? next move?
Thanks to this forum's advice I got her to come over for dinner but now I'm not sure if I've pushed her too fast sexually. I'm seeking for some advice on what to do next.

Backstory: I've known this girl for a little over a year but just recently started something romantic with her. Been texting back and forth for about a month and asked her over for dinner. She flaked the first time but showed up the second. You can find a log of the texts in the general forum under the subject "Girl flaked and now wants to hang out. Please help"

12/19/2011 - First "Date"

She arrived around 7 in a cute short dress and high heeled boots with a bottle of chianti. I gave her a quick kiss at the door and then led her up the stairs. I was wearing a Santa hat and gave her a pair of antlers which she kept on until the movie started. Poured a glass a wine for both of us and we talked as I finished cooking.

We moved to the living room where we ate and watched a classic Disney movie (no she isn't 13, it just allowed us to chat since both of us had seen it before). Mostly talked during the movie and steadily increased kino and started making out. I broke off the kissing every time with each make-out session lasting a bit longer than the last time.

The movie concluded and she said she had to work tommorow but I convinced her to stay a bit and check out an old embarrassing video of me downstairs on my computer. She lied facedown on the bed and watched the video and after it finished I rolled her over and we began making out heavily. We dry-humped (lame i know), she opened her legs to let me rub her crotch (seriously wet) and I sucked on her tits (good size and shape for a small girl). During all this she kept saying she needed to go home and didn't put out on the first date so eventually she got up to leave and gathered her things, including the antlers.

At the door I pushed her against the wall and we made out some more. Things started Escalating again as she lifted up her leg and let me start fingering her before stoping me then basically running out the door and saying that she would text me the next day.

12/20/2011 - "Day after"

I didn't get any text but I got a alert from facebook telling me she tagged me in a photo. This wasn't a recent pic, it was a trip we took with some friends over a year ago. I called her later that night, no answer, so I left a msg saying, "I had fun last night, fly safe tommorow, dueces." Also texted right after calling, "I want my antlers back! Check VM" She never txted/called back.

12/21/2011 - What to do now?

She's on the plane SPAM so I'm trying to figure out what's my next move. I feel I was too aggressive and I pushed her past her Comfort zone. Also I acted needy while trying fclose (telling her I liked her, trying to convince her to stay the night and all that other AFC sh1t, I lost my focus on the game once my d1ck became involved).

I'm thinking I'll give her space to hang out with her friends and family on vacation and hit her up when she gets back middle of January. Her birthday is in a couple weeks though, should I send her a birthday greeting? Or did I fark it up... let me know what you think.
Author:  Ch1mera [ Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
You could've handled the escalation better, as you say it was AFC to be so keen for sex - it is indeed a form of neediness, however I fully empathise as I have been known to act in the exact same manner when escalating!
However this is certainly not a disaster, you created a very sexually charged frame which has now in effect been put on hold.
IF/WHEN she replies, you should send her a message which "leaves her wondering". Something like "Hope you're having fun! Three girls hit on me last night and now one of them wants to see me, you've got a bit of catching up to do ;) be safe though, don't want an STD" demonstrates HUGE value and also makes her just a little weeny bit worried - Will you still be available when she gets back? Do you like this new girl more? Why don't you care if she sleeps with other guys?

Thinking about someone ALWAYS reinforces the beliefs imposed by the frame of the last interaction with them - you left a fairly POSITIVE frame so now these thoughts will reinforce her attraction for you. Of course, there's no guarantee she'll be thinking about you but this is my opinion your best shot. This is why when she gets back, you should game her from scratch, and escalate from scratch again, do not assume she will be up for it! Good luck.
Author:  mi1ooo98 [ Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't agree that there's anything wrong with been keen for sex.
Author:  martini17 [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the advice Ch1mera. I'll work on what my next msg to her will be but I think it will definitely have to DHV. Any chance you think she has buyer's remorse?
Author:  jabmaster [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:09 am ]
Post subject: 
I dont think there is buyers remorse, this sounds too me like last minute resistance and it is pretty common in my experience.
Author:  acid604 [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
.
IF/WHEN she replies, you should send her a message which "leaves her wondering". Something like "Hope you're having fun! Three girls hit on me last night and now one of them wants to see me, you've got a bit of catching up to do ;) be safe though, don't want an STD" demonstrates HUGE value and also makes her just a little weeny bit worried - Will you still be available when she gets back? Do you like this new girl more? Why don't you care if she sleeps with other guys?

Thinking about someone ALWAYS reinforces the beliefs imposed by the frame of the last interaction with them - you left a fairly POSITIVE frame so now these thoughts will reinforce her attraction for you. Of course, there's no guarantee she'll be thinking about you but this is my opinion your best shot. This is why when she gets back, you should game her from scratch, and escalate from scratch again, do not assume she will be up for it! Good luck.
Good post man. This is some good advice. I would recommend something similar. When she gets back definitely start from scratch and don't assume she's still attracted to you.
I don't think you've fucked it up. I think a solid DHV text before her birthday text msg should be fine.
Author:  Bamp [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I try too hard to fclose? next move?
Quote:
Thanks to this forum's advice I got her to come over for dinner but now I'm not sure if I've pushed her too fast sexually. I'm seeking for some advice on what to do next.

Backstory: I've known this girl for a little over a year but just recently started something romantic with her. Been texting back and forth for about a month and asked her over for dinner. She flaked the first time but showed up the second. You can find a log of the texts in the general forum under the subject "Girl flaked and now wants to hang out. Please help"

12/19/2011 - First "Date"

She arrived around 7 in a cute short dress and high heeled boots with a bottle of chianti. I gave her a quick kiss at the door and then led her up the stairs. I was wearing a Santa hat and gave her a pair of antlers which she kept on until the movie started. Poured a glass a wine for both of us and we talked as I finished cooking.

We moved to the living room where we ate and watched a classic Disney movie (no she isn't 13, it just allowed us to chat since both of us had seen it before). Mostly talked during the movie and steadily increased kino and started making out. I broke off the kissing every time with each make-out session lasting a bit longer than the last time.

The movie concluded and she said she had to work tommorow but I convinced her to stay a bit and check out an old embarrassing video of me downstairs on my computer. She lied facedown on the bed and watched the video and after it finished I rolled her over and we began making out heavily. We dry-humped (lame i know), she opened her legs to let me rub her crotch (seriously wet) and I sucked on her tits (good size and shape for a small girl). During all this she kept saying she needed to go home and didn't put out on the first date so eventually she got up to leave and gathered her things, including the antlers.

At the door I pushed her against the wall and we made out some more. Things started Escalating again as she lifted up her leg and let me start fingering her before stoping me then basically running out the door and saying that she would text me the next day.

12/20/2011 - "Day after"

I didn't get any text but I got a alert from facebook telling me she tagged me in a photo. This wasn't a recent pic, it was a trip we took with some friends over a year ago. I called her later that night, no answer, so I left a msg saying, "I had fun last night, fly safe tommorow, dueces." Also texted right after calling, "I want my antlers back! Check VM" She never txted/called back.

12/21/2011 - What to do now?

She's on the plane SPAM so I'm trying to figure out what's my next move. I feel I was too aggressive and I pushed her past her Comfort zone. Also I acted needy while trying fclose (telling her I liked her, trying to convince her to stay the night and all that other AFC sh1t, I lost my focus on the game once my d1ck became involved).

I'm thinking I'll give her space to hang out with her friends and family on vacation and hit her up when she gets back middle of January. Her birthday is in a couple weeks though, should I send her a birthday greeting? Or did I fark it up... let me know what you think.
Whoa cowboy slow down. Oh wait you didn't which is why you are in the little predicament. Nice job escalating but you messed up when you pushed her against the wall. That crossed her line. Don't believe me? You said she ran out the door and said she would text you the next day. And? Yea nothing from her and you tried contacting her twice with no response. Don't get down on yourself you really wanted her that night too bad she didn't want as much as you did...then. This is all about the comfort zone I mentioned in the originally post. You broke into hers a little to boldly...nah you acted needy. Its ok though you might not lose out on this if this is really what you want. You said she is on vacation which means you will not be on her mind in any way. Make sure she isn't on yours at all while she is gone. Go out and I mean a lot get drinks strike up meaningless conversations with everyone hell even sarge a little and have some fun. If she contacts you on her return (yea im saying it don't contact her anymore) make sure you tell her your week(s) were as much fun as hers don't go into details be a challenge. If she pushes game on if not well...you probably have your answer. You have no idea what this chick wants and it sounds like you only want to fuck. That's fine but it might not fit her needs...or if it does than consider yourself lucky. From past experience a chick will get zero sleep and look like shit at work just to get a dick in her that she really wanted. Did you push too hard? Yep. But its not game over yet just play it right from here on out and make her come to you. If she doesn't she isn't worth your time just accept that move on and learn from your mistakes. PM me if you need some more in depth chat about what's going on here.
Author:  GKS [ Thu Dec 22, 2011 6:44 am ]
Post subject: 
There was this famous saying "Judge a woman by her actions not her words". I don't think that move against the wall is crossing the line. In fact, noted that she "lifted her leg" and let him fingered her, that's enough said.
Personally I would always try to push through LMR 3 times, or unless she flat out says NO with a frown. Like 60s say, if it's not a verbal rejection, it doesn't materialize in her head. Noted that she kept say "I had to go home " or "I don't put out on first date", but not "NO" "STOP" To me those words mean "Kay I don't want to be a slut who has sex on first date, not that cheap, you need to push harder so I can blame you for everything later on".

I've been to so many similar situations and failed, over the years, I made a simply rule "Hit LMR? ---> try again 3 times, if still not working get a BJ or HJ at least", that's way I won't be leaving there by myself feeling frustrated and angry, and it won't be awkward for both parties later on since we did have some sort of sexual experience together. It will be easier to fclose next time.
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