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How do I get her to approach me?
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Author:  HiddenInTheGrass [ Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:  How do I get her to approach me?
Hey guys, this is my first post and would love a bit of expert guidance with a situation.

Basically, there is a simply amazing girl I know at work who I'm trying to get in with. I first caught her staring at me as I walked past her desk once and my interest grew from there.

I then approached her at a recent weekend Christmas party, which went alright, but I didn't want to push it and wasn't 100% sure if she was single (but later found out she was). I gave it a few days the next week before plucking up the courage to go and chat to her whilst sober, and it went real well for a couple of days. Not sure how strong the IOIs were but she giggled at a lot of things I said, her body language was positive and open and she kept the conversation going for a while. On the 3rd day of this daily chatting business (Friday), she actually spoke to me first when I walked in and said she was alone all day. She later sent me an email asking for some info which she could easily have found online.

I took this as a strong IOI and then made a tool of myself by asking what her lunch plans were (via email), and she said she was meeting friends. I sort of didn't chat to her for the rest of the afternoon as I felt embarrassed, but at the end of the day I went over and made small talk because I wanted to end the week on a high.

However, the following week (this week) I decided to give myself a break from chasing and stop my daily chats with her. Whenever she comes over to my side of the office, she seldom makes eye contact with me or says hello (this has always been the case), although she is quite quiet and there are some intimidating guys I work with who she doesn't know. Once, she came over and I made a cheeky comment which made her laugh but I just don't know where I stand! I'd love her to just come over and chat :(. I haven't got her number or even added her on facebook (want her to want to add me!) but am planning on going over for a chat tomorrow rather than playing it cool again.

Really sorry for the long post guys, and apologies if my problem is a trivial one, I know newbies are probably annoying on this forum but I think I need all the help I can get!

Regards.
Author:  P-Style [ Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Can't you meet her during lunch break or something? If she likes you she will keep the conversation going and stuff.
Author:  Mayhem burns [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 2:48 am ]
Post subject:  Don't forget this is A PUA FORUM!
Ok, so I see you have the hot's for the girl at work and that is great,,,but sounds like the dreaded ONE-ITIS. so make sure you have other options and that this girl is one of many....Options. If you are going to roll in this lifestyle don't get caught up with just one option.

Anyway...I ee you have alot in your favour..she has close proximity to you, and she has no boyfriend is the standouts.

Things to overcome...Your desire to close = don't let it get away because of obsticals. Go ahead and get out with ehr and try to isolate and close. Don't forget the issue with work relationships some have an issue or moral code they have about dating or hooking up at work. you should figure out her feeling on this early on and if it is not agreeable to you...be prepared to change it for your benefit on the spot and not at a later time. so you should figure this out when you two are together with no other influances. Go alpha male on her and direct her on what to think and do to your benefit.

Ok. All in all done here.
Author:  Bamp [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Ok a couple of things you are being a little timid with your approach which is fine since you are at work...if you're timid just imagine what she feels like. Then again it is work so if you pursue and this blows up in your face well you get it. Id imagine your company as mine and most others monitors email and internet usage that aside why ask her out in the most generic way ever. That said who really meets "friends" for lunch? I don't cause my hour lunch is to valuable to waste trying to meet up with people. But maybe she did. Forget the non glances and lack of conversation on her part she is nervous...not cause of you but where you two are. Instead of asking her out again really start chatting her up and find out where she likes to go on her breaks lunch etc and randomally run into her there. Good luck
Author:  HiddenInTheGrass [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 7:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Cheers for the responses guys, really appreciate it. Can't fault or argue with a word you've said. I promise you it was slightly more interesting than just asking her out to lunch but still, more a rush of blood to the head than anything! I'll get on it today.
Author:  richard_head [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:26 am ]
Post subject: 
I have a bit of a similar issue with a girl from work that I'm after, but in this case I would:
a) come up to her and chat away pure as friends, as you seem to have been doing so far. as it goes on for a few minutes (you can't make it too long, it's your workplace at the end of the day) - I'd go for something like: 'listen, you seem pretty cool / laid back / easygoing (or better 'decent enough' or sth like that) and:
- I'm meeting my friends who are coming from out of town,
- my friends will be playing a concert in this club (that's a good one),
- there's this cool exhibition I wanted to check out, etc.
why don't you come along?

or

b) come straight up and ask her about having lunch with you, because you'd really like a girl's opinion on sth. it could be about some other girl, female-friend so that she doesn't feel like you're coming on too strong and that it's all about her.

after all, from what you've said she seems to be interested, but (from my own experience) this prolonging awkward moments of silence, avoiding eye contact, not saying hi can't do you any good.

good luck!
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