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How do I get her to want me back?
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Author:  hotcold [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 1:24 pm ]
Post subject:  How do I get her to want me back?

I had a two intense month relationship with a girl just hanging with her every day and having sex with her. I suppose now looking back on it, it was really a fling after she split from her ex. She moved back to London for work for 3 months where her ex of five years lives. Recently went to visit her in London and just before I came she told me she wanted to see how things go and hang but not in a sexual way. She told me she just wanted to be friends as was having a hard time with the break up with the ex. (although she had done the break up)

She said if the moment was right again maybe something would happen but now she wanted to be single and not hang in a sexual way and see how things go. Told her dont really do friends but we could hang again in the future and see what happens. Realised I was getting nothing but the odd kiss from her and my social value was being diminished as she told me that she wanted to hang with friends and not with me all the time.....

I immediatley left and came back to NY. She said she regarded me as someone very close and more than just a friend but just wasnt ready for any relationship with anyone now and that I shouldnt have left.

She lives in the UK, I live in NY. We had been hanging as I said daily for two months and then speak by text or phone daily for the past month (which is what I think killed the deal)

The last communication I had from her was 3 days ago was in response to a text I sent saying I hope she was having fun blah blah. She replied saying shes having an amazing time and I shouldnt have left.

I dont want her to forget about me nor Do I want to end up in the friend zone.

She said she regarded our time as just :hanging: but obv it involved sex. She may come back to NY in 2 months time. How do I play it from here?

Should i try and keep in contact (she never in the past inniated texts) it was always me. Just dont want to be needy nor fuck it up....

Any advice?

Author:  Lodewijkp [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 1:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
She moved back to London for work for 3 months where her ex of five years lives
meaning she sucked his dick and now comes back to you ...
freeze her out ... she's probably some stockholm syndrom cunt... il bet artist could write alot of songs about her.

it's fucking eat or be eaten.. if you are not getting what you want you shouldn't be needy...freeze her out.

Author:  hotcold [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 2:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

After she dumped her ex and he really wanted her back she was interested. He seemed to have switched around and told her he was cool being friends and didnt want anything else.

Now I think shes interested again. However he seems to have now gone back to being jealous of her talking to any other guys. I obviously not even in the same country as her. Any advice of keeping in her mind and not being needy and making her miss me?

Author:  Lodewijkp [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 2:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

meaning you are second choice...

read your replies ...

you should call her and tell her she can fuckoff.. you are not a second choice..

dude cmon.. if she really loved or liked you she would be with you.. you might as well break up now instead of having a shitty relationship, and who says she isn't going to call this guy again .. she probably keeps chasing him.

Author:  hotcold [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

If I leave it and she contacts me how should I respond. Im normally super friendly and chatty by text.

Do I want her to feel the difference that Im not like that. Its obviously Christmas coming up. How should I respond by text.

I dont want to just be rude or is ignoring her gonna make her want me more?

Author:  Lodewijkp [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 5:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

she's the one being rude.. she just used you .. her ex was number one ... PUT IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD .. SHE DOESN'T CARE THAT MUCH ..

you care way much more than her... i would totally freeze her out.

how about you don't respond at all..... she does not give a fuck not like you think she does... if her ex called her today she would forget you in like 10 seconds...

welcome to reality.. embrace it

Author:  hotcold [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

When I was with her in NY, her ex was constantly calling her and she just carried on seeing me. Now the tables have been reversed. She basically really likes me but is obviously more infatuated by her ex or whoever else.

If I just ignore her doesn't that just lower my value or make me look like I'm a sore loser. The fact is I did get screwwed over by her but I really want her back.

Author:  Cointoss [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
She moved back to London for work for 3 months where her ex of five years lives
meaning she sucked his dick and now comes back to you ...
freeze her out ... she's probably some stockholm syndrom cunt... il bet artist could write alot of songs about her.

it's fucking eat or be eaten.. if you are not getting what you want you shouldn't be needy...freeze her out.
Have you noticed how in every thread you post it's like "Yeah this woman is/women are all bitches man! Dump her!"?

I don't think it really helps that much tbh.

Author:  hotcold [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

That wasn't my post that was someone giving me advice which to be honest I don't agree with!

Author:  Cointoss [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
That wasn't my post that was someone giving me advice which to be honest I don't agree with!
I guess that must be why the quote says "Lodewijkp wrote:"...

Author:  hotcold [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

Exactly and I am Hotcold not the other guy!

Author:  Cointoss [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Exactly and I am Hotcold not the other guy!
Yes that was clear from my post already, so I don't know what you are trying to say as my post is clearly addressing the other poster.

Author:  SignAFC [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
She moved back to London for work for 3 months where her ex of five years lives
meaning she sucked his dick and now comes back to you ...
freeze her out ... she's probably some stockholm syndrom cunt... il bet artist could write alot of songs about her.

it's fucking eat or be eaten.. if you are not getting what you want you shouldn't be needy...freeze her out.
Have you noticed how in every thread you post it's like "Yeah this woman is/women are all bitches man! Dump her!"?

I don't think it really helps that much tbh.
Well sadly enough, it's the best advice. I mean let's look at it in a more technical stand point. Hotandcold is long distance with this girl. Her ex lives in the same area as her and they have a stronger foundation built giving her ex more leverage when it comes to relationship. They can see each other frequently. For hot, You can only do so much long distance to keep attraction and you haven't built much of a foundation. It's all about physical, that why kino is so important. It's better for hotcold to let go as difficult as it is and totally against what you want. I'm in the same situation.

Author:  Lodewijkp [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

i don't give a fuck really .. i don't care if he gets burned really hard..
i've been in the exaclty same situation twice and i got fucked up..
you either end it or you will get fucked up and will feel bad for many months..

and yeah .. most woman are plain stupid bitches.. what's the news ?

like i said .. she preferred her ex over him.. second - she kind of ingored the op and did some shopping...
hey man .. you either want to be a expendable item or you really want to be appreciated for who you really are..

it's your choice.. you don't have to like my idea or post .. the best choice is never a easy choice... at least im detached unlike you

Author:  hotcold [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

Look, I listen to what you guys are saying and im following your advice. I just find it very difficult that someone I spent two months with intesnsely now just doesnt give a fuck.

She says she wants to stay close to me and i shouldnt have left but obvioulsy has other guys she is more interested in or she wouldnt have acted like this. I just want to flip the switch back so she starts wanting me again.

She will be back in NY in six weeks or so. Until then I want her thinking of me but dont want to be needy.

Is just waiting for her to contact and then not responding really the move?

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