PUA Forum :: Ive lost some trust for my girlfriend. Are my reasons valid?

I have no idea why, but for some reason the past week I've become insecure (I spose you would call it) in my relationship.
Normally my girlfriend texts me lots, asks to catch up etc etc. But this week a few events have happened and it's as if in my mind I've blamed her for cheating even though she hasn't.

a) It started when this guy was flirting with her and she was talking back to him online. She hasn't met him. Although she told me about it and offered to read out the conversation, I'm still puzzled as to why she was talking to him in the first place.
She was like "Oh I was just chatting to him and now that I've realised he wants something, I'm trying to end the conversations" - and she is - this part is true. But what were her motives for talking to him in the first place?
(He doesn't seem physically that attractive or anything so it's a little confusing)
b) She put her facebook profile suddenly on semi private - so you cannot see whose wall she's posting on etc.
c) We went on a date a few nights ago, and for a period of 1.5 hours she was seeming distant while we were in public. Once the date was over she was all over me again...but in public for whatever reason she wasn't holding onto me like she usually does and when I'd kiss her she would "half" kiss back if that makes any sense whatsoever.

Deep down I know I'm being ridiculous and analytical and insecure. Truth is, I have no idea what caused me to suddenly change my mood as far as this relationship goes.
It all started when that guy added her and I noticed she was talking to him (as in, initiating conversation). She DID say "He's flirting with me - just give me the word and I'll block him" and I responded with "Talk to whoever you want, I don't care. As long as he's not too inappropriate".

My question I suppose is - why am I like this? Why am I so untrusting all of a sudden do you think?
Do I have right to be?
Thanks guys, sorry for sounding like a bitch

Author:	Century100 [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:31 am ]
Post subject:	Ive lost some trust for my girlfriend. Are my reasons valid?
I have no idea why, but for some reason the past week I've become insecure (I spose you would call it) in my relationship. Normally my girlfriend texts me lots, asks to catch up etc etc. But this week a few events have happened and it's as if in my mind I've blamed her for cheating even though she hasn't. a) It started when this guy was flirting with her and she was talking back to him online. She hasn't met him. Although she told me about it and offered to read out the conversation, I'm still puzzled as to why she was talking to him in the first place. She was like "Oh I was just chatting to him and now that I've realised he wants something, I'm trying to end the conversations" - and she is - this part is true. But what were her motives for talking to him in the first place? (He doesn't seem physically that attractive or anything so it's a little confusing) b) She put her facebook profile suddenly on semi private - so you cannot see whose wall she's posting on etc. c) We went on a date a few nights ago, and for a period of 1.5 hours she was seeming distant while we were in public. Once the date was over she was all over me again...but in public for whatever reason she wasn't holding onto me like she usually does and when I'd kiss her she would "half" kiss back if that makes any sense whatsoever. Deep down I know I'm being ridiculous and analytical and insecure. Truth is, I have no idea what caused me to suddenly change my mood as far as this relationship goes. It all started when that guy added her and I noticed she was talking to him (as in, initiating conversation). She DID say "He's flirting with me - just give me the word and I'll block him" and I responded with "Talk to whoever you want, I don't care. As long as he's not too inappropriate". My question I suppose is - why am I like this? Why am I so untrusting all of a sudden do you think? Do I have right to be? Thanks guys, sorry for sounding like a bitch

Author:	phoenix513 [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:41 am ]
Post subject:
I am no expert, but I completely agree with you. It's like one of those counter-intuitive things. Only because that happened to me, (the FB part minus the semi-hidden profile thing). About 4 months after that we split. The "right" thing to do would be to care, but the "thing your supposed to do" is to blow it off. I would just try to act cool and forget about it and move on like nothing happened. My guess is she got pissed that you were being so worried about it. But the more you try to talk about it, is the more it will probably irritate her whether you bring it up or not. Girls are super dumb, and think guys can be their friends. When we guys think that the other guy probably wants to bang her. But yea, I would try to play it cool and see how she reacts, if you keep on getting more signals of her being "distant".. I would definitely ask her whats up or break up with her before she breaks up with you.

Author:	Century100 [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:51 am ]
Post subject:
Alright Phoenix, thanks heaps for that

Author:	Lodewijkp [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 2:04 pm ]
Post subject:
it's your intuition .. trust yourself .. don't put her above you own self trust or intuition .. she's shopping around she tells you shit but meanwhile she's being distant and puts her profile on semi private...her actions contradict her words... freeze her out .. if i were you i would consider this relationship KIA ( killed in action )... be the first one so she feels bad .. she deserves it .. maybe she will beg and chase you as well..

Author:	guruman [ Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Ive lost some trust for my girlfriend. Are my reasons valid?
Quote: I have no idea why, but for some reason the past week I've become insecure (I spose you would call it) in my relationship. Normally my girlfriend texts me lots, asks to catch up etc etc. But this week a few events have happened and it's as if in my mind I've blamed her for cheating even though she hasn't. a) It started when this guy was flirting with her and she was talking back to him online. She hasn't met him. Although she told me about it and offered to read out the conversation, I'm still puzzled as to why she was talking to him in the first place. She was like "Oh I was just chatting to him and now that I've realised he wants something, I'm trying to end the conversations" - and she is - this part is true. But what were her motives for talking to him in the first place? (He doesn't seem physically that attractive or anything so it's a little confusing) b) She put her facebook profile suddenly on semi private - so you cannot see whose wall she's posting on etc. c) We went on a date a few nights ago, and for a period of 1.5 hours she was seeming distant while we were in public. Once the date was over she was all over me again...but in public for whatever reason she wasn't holding onto me like she usually does and when I'd kiss her she would "half" kiss back if that makes any sense whatsoever. Deep down I know I'm being ridiculous and analytical and insecure. Truth is, I have no idea what caused me to suddenly change my mood as far as this relationship goes. It all started when that guy added her and I noticed she was talking to him (as in, initiating conversation). She DID say "He's flirting with me - just give me the word and I'll block him" and I responded with "Talk to whoever you want, I don't care. As long as he's not too inappropriate". My question I suppose is - why am I like this? Why am I so untrusting all of a sudden do you think? Do I have right to be? Thanks guys, sorry for sounding like a bitch IMO trust is the backbone of a good relationship.. If you can't trust her then nothing else will work out in the long run. I used to get jealous about stuff like this too, but as I got older and had more relationships I realized that this is the kind of behavior that gets you cheated on.. Just trust your instincts, and up until the moment she actually physically cheats on you with another guy just completely trust her not to. Don't invade her privacy, never bring anything like that up to her, and if another guy flirts with her act like its funny.. encourage her to go flirt with that chump with a smile on your face, tell her its cute. This will keep you your girl in the long run in my experience

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