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I dont want to lose her but I think I have already!
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Author:  hotcold [ Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:28 pm ]
Post subject:  I dont want to lose her but I think I have already!

Had a two month relationship with a girl really a fling after she split from her ex. Recently went to visit her in London and she told me she just wanted to be friends but if the moment was right again maybe something would happen but now she wanted to be single and not hang in a sexual way. Told her dont really do friends but we could hang again in the future and see what happens. Left and came back to NY

She lives in the UK, I live in NY. Went to a party the other night and she must of known due to Facebook. She sent me a text asking how it went.

Me: Too much fun. May have found a girl who could even out do you (Was refering to her partying)
Her: Are you trying to make me jealous?
Me: Haha of course not. everyone was just a bit wild. Was the first time in ages Ive had such a crazy night.
Her: Well whats your point then?
Me: I guess what I was getting at was I actually managed to find someone who can party just as hard as you. Only difference is shes doesnt bite which I must admit is a bit boring. Your cute drunken ass was still missed.
No reply for 24 Hours so I sent her:
Me: My friends who didnt realise id left, were telling me its a big weekend in London. Still cant believe I never managed to really have one big night out with you. Could have been fun. Hope your having fun & have a drink for me.
HER: Trust me,u shldnt hav left,bin havn th maddest parties since thursday and nt planning on stopping till tuesday,haha!

Do i just leave it now I dont want to l appear desperate but also wanna have fun banter with her. She fell for a player and im turning pathetic! ANY HELP???

Author:  Snarg [ Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

Why did you make a new topic for this?

do-i-make-contact-or-should-i-give-up-vt123461.html

Author:  bansario [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I dont want to lose her but I think I have already!

Quote:
Had a two month relationship with a girl really a fling after she split from her ex. Recently went to visit her in London and she told me she just wanted to be friends but if the moment was right again maybe something would happen but now she wanted to be single and not hang in a sexual way. Told her dont really do friends but we could hang again in the future and see what happens. Left and came back to NY

She lives in the UK, I live in NY. Went to a party the other night and she must of known due to Facebook. She sent me a text asking how it went.

Me: Too much fun. May have found a girl who could even out do you (Was refering to her partying)
Her: Are you trying to make me jealous?
Me: Haha of course not. everyone was just a bit wild. Was the first time in ages Ive had such a crazy night.
Her: Well whats your point then?
Me: I guess what I was getting at was I actually managed to find someone who can party just as hard as you. Only difference is shes doesnt bite which I must admit is a bit boring. Your cute drunken ass was still missed.

So after 48 hours when I didnt hear anything back I tried to be sweet and sent her the following message which she has read but not replied........

Me: My friends who didnt realise id left, were telling me its a big weekend in London. Still cant believe I never managed to really have one big night out with you. Could have been fun. Hope your having fun & have a drink for me.

Do i just leave it now and wait to see if she ever responds or do I ask her whats up? I dont want to leave on bad terms with her but dont want to appear desperate. She fell for a player and im turning pathetic! ANY HELP???
Let it go.

She has already expressed that she doesn't want to hang out with you in a sexual way. The problem is that you guys were already intimate, so there can't be just friendship from this moment on unless the two of you totally agree to it (and I think that won't happen).

She knows your intentions, you know your intentions...she's not responding to your advances....time to look for something else.

Besides, she lives in the UK. It's too far away to be making hook-up plans and all that.

My 2 cents. :)

Author:  hotcold [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:33 am ]
Post subject: 

Shes moving back to the USA in two months. When I saw her we did kiss a few times but i could tell with a few drinks she would be much calmer. We spoke for hours and really got on well.

I think just back at home with her ex around her head is all over and she came out with the classic I just cant be serious with anyone now. blah blah

I just dont want to leave it on a bad note or to look like a loser. I want to set it up so when I see her again i have a chance

Author:  bansario [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:00 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Shes moving back to the USA in two months. When I saw her we did kiss a few times but i could tell with a few drinks she would be much calmer. We spoke for hours and really got on well.

I think just back at home with her ex around her head is all over and she came out with the classic I just cant be serious with anyone now. blah blah

I just dont want to leave it on a bad note or to look like a loser. I want to set it up so when I see her again i have a chance
OK, then you really don't need any advice if you're going to pursue her anyway.

Careful with one-itis though. Usually the first sign of it is not being able to let go...just saying.

Author:  hotcold [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:08 am ]
Post subject: 

Im just asking how I move from here..... How should I proceed?

Author:  bansario [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:40 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Im just asking how I move from here..... I dont want to lose her completely or leave on a bad note. Id like to be remembered as a cool guy. Shes obv upset / annoyed / doesnt care.

How should I proceed?
Why is it SO important that ONE girl remembers you as something GREAT!? Do you want to have something serious with a girl who wanted you as a rebound? She already had what she wanted (for you to serve as an outlet from her break-up), why do you want to complicate things even more?

I might be completely wrong, but to me, the more you try the more you'll driver her away. It sounds like you deep down want to have a relationship with this girl, otherwise you wouldnt be asking this kind of questions.

How should you proceed? In my humble opinion, wait till she gets here. Once she does it, ask her out. Don't be so forward with her. Just take her out to show her around and have a good time. Don't try to just kiss her right away. Simply show her that you can be fun without being pushy. If you can convey that, she'll be asking herself something like "how come he's not trying so hard...?" This is good for you.

Do the same thing a couple of times while kino escalating a bit more in each occasion. If she's interested, she'll make it happen.

Now, you could also go all crazy, pursue her like a madman, give her the best sex of her life, and she'll be on you forever. What are the chances of it working out that way considering what you have shown so far (her not replying to your messages, telling you she wants no sex, etc...)? Very slim.

I could say "move on..." but I dont think that's an alternative for you. So, good luck. ;)

Author:  hotcold [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:52 am ]
Post subject: 

I think those are very wise words and I should def wait till she gets here.

But what I'm trying to say is I've fucked up things now already by being a bit too desperate in London and now annying her with the texts.

What I was wanting was a magic text, (which prob doesn't exist) to leave things in a field that she will want to see me when she's over.

I just don't want my last two texts to be ignored and not talk to a girl for months who I was in regular contact with daily either in person or text / phone.

Just wanted to know if that exxisted. If not Ill just forget about her or at least give the impression to her that I have.

Author:  bansario [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:07 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I think those are very wise words and I should def wait till she gets here.

But what I'm trying to say is I've fucked up things now already by being a bit too desperate in London and now annying her with the texts.

What I was wanting was a magic text, (which prob doesn't exist) to leave things in a field that she will want to see me when she's over.

I just don't want my last two texts to be ignored and not talk to a girl for months who I was in regular contact with daily either in person or text / phone.

Just wanted to know if that exxisted. If not Ill just forget about her or at least give the impression to her that I have.
The only magic text that always gets a response from someone is "I'm pregnant, it's yours and I'm keeping it" lol...but we all know it doesn't work for us.

When a woman forms an impression it's a bit difficult to change her mind. Doing so would require a lot of work and effort, and I dont know if it's worthy.

I personally cant think of a magic text message for this situation. Sorry.

Author:  hotcold [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 3:00 am ]
Post subject: 

So I should just do nothing. Don't send anything. That's it. Doesn't seem to me to be the answer. Does anyone have any other ideas?

Author:  Snarg [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 3:21 am ]
Post subject: 

You've already sent 2 in a row with no response. If you send any more you are going to look even more pathetic. Just stop talking to her and see if she warms up to you later.

Author:  hotcold [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 7:26 am ]
Post subject: 

She replied this morning. I supppose it was friendly. Do I give her a reply back or do I now just leave it.


I want her to start missing me. Remember upuntil this week we have spent the first two months together every single day and then the last month in constant text contact 5 or 6 times a day.


HER: Trust me,u shldnt hav left,bin havn th maddest parties since thursday and nt planning on stopping till tuesday,haha!

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