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Girl flaked and now wants to hang out. Please help
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=123286		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  martini17 [ Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl flaked and now wants to hang out. Please help
Hi I'm pretty new to pua so I figured I would seek the advice of people much wiser and experienced than myself. I've hung out with this girl a few times but never alone. Some kino but nothing heavy. I called and asked her to come over and say hi while I cooked dinner which she accepted. But then I got this text around midnight the night before.

Her: Well hello my "My name" yes mine lol I cant make tomorrow night

I called her about 30 min after, no answer and then sent her this msg in the morning.

Me: No problem, I'll invite someone else. See you around "Her name".

Her: Ok, I'm sorry we had last minute inventory at the other store come up again last night and our other guy can't go so I gotta go and not sure when I'll be back.

Her: I hope you are not mad, I know I havent been able to come out and it prolly seems I blowing you off. I'm not just busy..... And I am not sure if your intentions are for like date type not... But I'm just not trying to be involved with anyone. After divorce and "Guy name" thing I just don't want to go there. I like you so much, I don't want to make it weird or lose the fun we already have. I mean we really have q blast together and it's so fun

Her: * meant to say I'm not blowing you off lol just really busy

Her: Please text me back and let me know if you still wanna hang out, I would really like to before I go on vacation next week

What do you think? Should I just drop her and move on (freeze-out?), give her another chance or do something else?
Author:  P-Style [ Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Invite her to your house and do your thang.
Author:  martini17 [ Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:24 am ]
Post subject: 
lol nice short response. I'll try it.
Author:  mi1ooo98 [ Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:34 am ]
Post subject: 
The reason the reply is short, is because the problem is non existent, no need to over think it.
Author:  guruman [ Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh the things women say.. She told you she wasn't blowing you off and she had to do the inventory thing and was just busy, and in the VERY NEXT SENTENCE she says oh yeah also I dont know if you want a date type thing but I dont want to be involved with anyone. This seems to me like the real reason she bailed.. You need to build more attraction with her - Sounds like even if you got her to hang out with you before she left, she's not feeling like she wants to fuck you anyway.. personally, I wouldn't respond to her at all. Freeze her out and game other girls, start over with her clean slate when she gets back from vacation and run tighter game. That's just me tho
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Thu Dec 15, 2011 9:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
personally, when i get flaked on, i almost always give the girl another chance. youve already put it the work, so it makes sense to try to see it out. some percentage of the time you get flaked on the girl actually did want to meet you but something came up.

as a matter of fact, one of the girls im currently seeing i met online and we had great conversation leading up to the first date (which we agreed to meet for coffee real quick). she blew me off last minute claiming some kind of crazy scenario. i was like ok, its cool (again, i like to never burn bridges or react negatively to this stuff). i was kinda bummed cuz she was fun and the convo was pretty good leading up to it. she swore up and down she really wanted to meet me and that something came up. long story short we agreed to hang out at her house a couple days later. amazing bj/swallow/f-close on 1st date and we're still seeing each other a couple of months later. so it does happen.

if i get flaked on a second time, i still dont end it permanently with the girl. but i def shift my thinking. now i mark her down as unreliable/flaky and pretty much write her off and stop pursuing her. ill respond to her texts and even accept plans with her. but only if she makes them. im never making plans with her again. and im probably not texting/calling her first for a long time. shes just not really worth the effort if shes not gonna treat our plans with respect.

as far as this one goes, i get the sense shes not all that into you. but i certainly wouldnt write it off completely. do what i recomend in the paragraph above. tell her sure we'll hang out before your vaca, id love that. but let her make the plans and dont text/call her first anymore. also, day of the plans dont text or call her. if she doesnt call/text you to confirm, dont show up and dont mention it until she brings it up to you. then treat it with a "oh-that-was-yesterday?" kinda attitude. be careful with this because its very important to come across unreactive and not like you're bitter and resentful and 'punishing' her because she flaked on you.

keep us updated.
Author:  mhouser54 [ Thu Dec 15, 2011 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Getting flaked
i agree with this guy. If you have already put in the work and she is putting some kind of effort into getting together, give her another chance. Be sure to lay it on thick about how you were heartbroken that she ignored you the first time (sarcasm). Give her hard time about it and be a couple of minutes late just to show that you're not desperate. That should do the trick.
Author:  martini17 [ Tue Dec 20, 2011 4:27 pm ]
Post subject:  *Update
First thanks to everyone who provided a suggestion. Now here is the text msg conversation later that night. It eventually led to a dinner date at my place where now I'm wondering if I tried too hard to fclose. If you'd like to help I've posted the latest situation under general questions, subject: Did I try too hard to fclose? next move?

Me: Hey, I'm nit mad “Her name” but please respect my time. I'm watching the game Sunday night, bring drinks if you want to hangout. And I'm sooo out of your league

Her: Hey you better watch it!! I'm outta your league lol and your prolly right... Seeing as I tend to go for less attractive guys according to you

Me: Don't try compare me to your exs, I'm one of a kind!! If you really meant you want to hang out stop by Sunday. If not... this is goodbye.

Her: Hey I'm going to jerk! Don't go breaking my heart I'll be there Sunday but during the day I'll be at Christmas markets, if you wanna come it's me and "Friend's name" then I'm coming over after

Her: What you want to drink

Me: I'm impressed “Her name”. I won't be back in town til later Sunday so have fun with your bb

Me: Bring some good wine. I'll be good to your heart, even if it is ginger. Night

Her: Ok I'll bring wine, hope you don't mind red and I know you secretly love Ginger hearts ;) even if they have mo souls, hope you are sleeping good, have fun at work!

The day of the meet (Sunday).
Her: Hey what time is the game?
Me: Morning “Her name”! Dress nice tonight and bring your appetite. How's 7?
Her: Haha ok :) I will and I'll be there
Her: Like dress and heels nice?
Me: Of course! El restaurante del “My name” is a classy establishment
Her: Ok :) yay! I'm excited
Author:  Bamp [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 2:48 am ]
Post subject: 
I agree with all of.the other posters but if you 2 haven't hung out alone why make the first time at your place? Kind of setting her up to be uncomfortable no? Maybe she has had a bad experience in the past. Imo its always best to meet at a neutral site first time alone for all sorts of reasons. This chick could be insane do you want her knowing where you live? If you want to close this make.her comfortable so go into her comfort zone before you bring her into yours.
Author:  martini17 [ Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Good point Bamp but I've known her for a little over a year (lost contact and started talking again about a month ago). Still think you're probably right about the comfort thing though, actually I'm pretty sure I got some buyer's remorse. I posted the details of the date under the subject: "Did I try too hard to fclose? next move?" . What do you think?
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