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I'm a girl who dated a PUA. I need your help.
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Author:  somegirl [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:38 am ]
Post subject:  I'm a girl who dated a PUA. I need your help.
--edited--
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:54 am ]
Post subject: 
i can tell you that, a man who gets a girl pregnant and then blanketly dismisses her...

is NOT a PUA

he is a POS

there is a difference

i got a girl pregnant once
best thing that happened to me
my baby girl is up sleeping right now (school tomorrow)

sounds like you are dealing more with a "piece of shit" than a "pick up artist"
Author:  Andersonn [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:55 am ]
Post subject: 
So you told him you want to keep the baby? Maybe that scared him off.
I don't think you can fix it...this sounds like a case of oneitis so advice is: find other guys.
Author:  somegirl [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:59 am ]
Post subject: 
/// deleted
Author:  DCGuy [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm a girl who dated a PUA. I need your help.
Quote:
Hi guys, I hope it's okay that I'm posting here. I'm not trying to invade your territory or anything.

I'm in sort of a bad place in my life after recently getting out of a relationship with a guy who I now know was a PUA. I don't want to give away too many details because I'm a bit paranoid that he might read this board.

Basically things were great at first. He was a couple years shy of 30 and I'm 25. After a couple months of dating, he started being sort of subtly emotionally abusive. He would constantly be checking his phone even when we were out to dinner. He did some really hurtful things and it hurts too much to even list them all.

I took the pill for 8 years of my life every single day. I became pregnant. He left me and told me to deal with it on my own. This is not some loser/low life scum. He is very educated, has a great career, lives a high class lifestyle. But now he has pretty much left me high and dry. I'm devastated and feel like complete shit.

I've been reading these boards seeing how you guys refer to girls as "HB8" "HB10" or whatever. It makes me wonder what he classified me as and makes me scared.

If I contact him trying to talk to him about this situation, he ignores me completely. He ended things with me in a completely abrupt way which I won't go into detail in. I still love this man. I tried to do everything to make him happy. I took care of him when he was sick, I was there for him throughout everything, I tried to fulfill him in all ways. I used to model. I take good care of myself. Wtf could I have done differently? I didn't mean to get pregnant. I was afraid to tell him. This all feels like it was my fault and now I'm at a loss as to what to do. Meanwhile, he is partying and acting like he never met me at all.
I am going to assume that you are not a troll and you actually are speaking the truth about being jilted by a PUA. I don't mean to be hurtful, but sometimes I see these "female posters," and I wonder if it isn't some random person out to have some fun. But, assuming what you said is the truth...

First, practical information. If you are planning to have the child, the PUA owes you child support. I don't know which state you live in, but every jurisdiction in the U.S. has a requirement that the biological father of a child (in the absence of adoption) pays a certain percentage of his income for the support of the child. The formula and procedure to get a court to issue a child support order varies state by state, but I recommend you do a quick google search to get a general idea (enter your state name and child support).

Now, I want to make this clear: this is NOT YOUR FAULT. There was nothing you could do. Unfortunately, every single person in the world is autonomous. There is nothing we can really do to control them or prevent them from acting terribly if they are inclined to do so. So, don't beat yourself up over it. All you can do at this point is to forget him and move on.

So, I would say that you should cut off all connections with this man. Do not see this man face to face without an attorney present (I am assuming you are keeping the child; obviously, if you have terminated the pregnancy, then you will never have to see this man again). Delete his cellphone number and remove every vestige of him from your life. Destroy any of his belongings that are in your possession and any gifts he gave you. Perhaps doing this will be cathartic for you as well. It will certainly help you to eventually forget him.

Also, I recommend you take a long period of time to focus on yourself. Don't date for a while. It is going to take you time to trust other men, especially after the garbage this man put you through, and taking time out to reassess what happened and learning from it is probably the quickest way you will heal.

And I would say post his details on this board. Post his real name, what he did, which city he lives in, and what he does for a living. He should be held accountable for his actions somehow.

And, more importantly, you should learn not to be afraid of this man anymore. He is out of your life, and good riddance.
Author:  somegirl [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:01 am ]
Post subject: 
--edited--
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Oneitis? Um yes, I love him, but I would never get pregnant purposely to try and keep someone I love. That's just plain stupid.
and yet 1 in 3 admit to doing just that at some point in their lives

the other 2 are lying

let's be honest

this game has been going on since the beginning of time

i know the lengths i've gone to for pussy (especially in my prime)

and girls have an instinct 2 to 4 times more powerful to have babies

can ya'll REEEEALLY control that instinct?
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm a girl who dated a PUA. I need your help.
Quote:
I am going to assume that you are not a troll and you actually are speaking the truth about being jilted by a PUA. I don't mean to be hurtful, but sometimes I see these "female posters," and I wonder if it isn't some random person out to have some fun. But, assuming what you said is the truth...

First, practical information. If you are planning to have the child, the PUA owes you child support. I don't know which state you live in, but every jurisdiction in the U.S. has a requirement that the biological father of a child (in the absence of adoption) pays a certain percentage of his income for the support of the child. The formula and procedure to get a court to issue a child support order varies state by state, but I recommend you do a quick google search to get a general idea (enter your state name and child support).

Now, I want to make this clear: this is NOT YOUR FAULT. There was nothing you could do. Unfortunately, every single person in the world is autonomous. There is nothing we can really do to control them or prevent them from acting terribly if they are inclined to do so. So, don't beat yourself up over it. All you can do at this point is to forget him and move on.

So, I would say that you should cut off all connections with this man. Do not see this man face to face without an attorney present (I am assuming you are keeping the child; obviously, if you have terminated the pregnancy, then you will never have to see this man again). Delete his cellphone number and remove every vestige of him from your life. Destroy any of his belongings that are in your possession and any gifts he gave you. Perhaps doing this will be cathartic for you as well. It will certainly help you to eventually forget him.

Also, I recommend you take a long period of time to focus on yourself. Don't date for a while. It is going to take you time to trust other men, especially after the garbage this man put you through, and taking time out to reassess what happened and learning from it is probably the quickest way you will heal.

And I would say post his details on this board. Post his real name, what he did, which city he lives in, and what he does for a living. He should be held accountable for his actions somehow.

And, more importantly, you should learn not to be afraid of this man anymore. He is out of your life, and good riddance.
horrible advice.

do not even listen to this.

do NOT post this guys info on this board.

he will nail your ass for slander and you will end up in trouble.
Author:  DCGuy [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm a girl who dated a PUA. I need your help.
Quote:
Quote:
I am going to assume that you are not a troll and you actually are speaking the truth about being jilted by a PUA. I don't mean to be hurtful, but sometimes I see these "female posters," and I wonder if it isn't some random person out to have some fun. But, assuming what you said is the truth...

First, practical information. If you are planning to have the child, the PUA owes you child support. I don't know which state you live in, but every jurisdiction in the U.S. has a requirement that the biological father of a child (in the absence of adoption) pays a certain percentage of his income for the support of the child. The formula and procedure to get a court to issue a child support order varies state by state, but I recommend you do a quick google search to get a general idea (enter your state name and child support).

Now, I want to make this clear: this is NOT YOUR FAULT. There was nothing you could do. Unfortunately, every single person in the world is autonomous. There is nothing we can really do to control them or prevent them from acting terribly if they are inclined to do so. So, don't beat yourself up over it. All you can do at this point is to forget him and move on.

So, I would say that you should cut off all connections with this man. Do not see this man face to face without an attorney present (I am assuming you are keeping the child; obviously, if you have terminated the pregnancy, then you will never have to see this man again). Delete his cellphone number and remove every vestige of him from your life. Destroy any of his belongings that are in your possession and any gifts he gave you. Perhaps doing this will be cathartic for you as well. It will certainly help you to eventually forget him.

Also, I recommend you take a long period of time to focus on yourself. Don't date for a while. It is going to take you time to trust other men, especially after the garbage this man put you through, and taking time out to reassess what happened and learning from it is probably the quickest way you will heal.

And I would say post his details on this board. Post his real name, what he did, which city he lives in, and what he does for a living. He should be held accountable for his actions somehow.

And, more importantly, you should learn not to be afraid of this man anymore. He is out of your life, and good riddance.
horrible advice.

do not even listen to this.

do NOT post this guys info on this board.

he will nail your ass for slander and you will end up in trouble.
Do you live in Britain or the United States?

If you live in the U.S., she isn't going to get hit with a slander suit. One, assuming her getting pregnant by him is true, truth is an absolute defense. A judge will dismiss his complaint before it even gets anywhere close to real litigation.

Britain is a little bit different. Their free speech protections are less robust than in the U.S., but I really doubt this idiot is going to sue this girl for slander.

Edit: And yes, somegirl is correct. Slander is a verbal communication while libel is written. It has been several years since I took my torts and First Amendment classes. I'm a little rusty.
Author:  somegirl [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:13 am ]
Post subject: 
I really take offense to what you said, Mack 2.0. I'm sure you don't mean it that way, but I was in absolutely no rush to have a child. I was planning to wait until I was at least 30. This was not the way I planned for things to be.

Let this be a reminder to you all that you should always use a condom even if the girl says she is on the pill.

And actually, that would not classify as slander. I'm a law student. Slander is information that is false and is not in the form of written information.

Libel consists of written words to defame an individual and they must be UNTRUE. It must be proven that it is untrue. However, proving that via the age of the internet is a difficult quest.

Furthermore, to qualify as either libel or slander, the information MUST:
- consist of a statement that is false and defamatory
- it must be proven that damage was done as a result of the shared information (loss of earnings)


However, I don't plan on doing this to him. [/u]
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:33 am ]
Post subject: 
i was throwing slander out there in the "loose" connotative sense.

thanks for the law lesson.

what i mean is...

you can get your self into a whole host of problems.

not limited to libel or slander

but also harassment, stalking, threatening, assault,

or WHATEVER somebody with money wants to come after you

plus in civil court, things are based on a preponderonce of the evidence

and trust me, when i say, when a judge is looking at who will have custody

he WILL consider your actions as "stable" or "mature"

and posting recklessly with abandon and out of spite

does not make a "mother" seem to be either.

so keep on advising this girl to take her grudge to the public internet where it can be forever solidified server-to-server in stone..

so when she says "look, judge, he is an asshole"

he can respond "look, judge, she is a crazy bitch...see WHAT SHE DID!"

i've been through custody court...as a child...and as a parent.

have you?

i won.

partially because my ex did shit like that and made herself look real bad.

and yes, in family court, it's not about laws or definitions...

it is about the OPINION of the judge and what is in the best interest of the child.

period.

but what do i know.

i'm only speaking from first-hand experience.

twice.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:35 am ]
Post subject: 
it seems all those college-polished brains couldn't keep your ovaries locked up

good luck
Author:  guruman [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:35 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm sorry somegirl, that's terrible. Maybe I just missed it but how long ago did this happen? Perhaps give him a LITTLE time to come around and then try talking to him about it again. Even though its shitty, I can understand the impulse to run away from a problem like that if he wasn't anticipating a child with you any time soon. It sucks that you are stuck with it and he isn't, but unfortunately that's just the way it is since you're the one with the uterus.

But at the end of the day, any guy who gets a girl pregnant and then drops her like a bad habit is an immature, irresponsible coward who is not ready to be a father nor ready to be in any kind of SERIOUS relationship. Sounds like a POS to me.. You can legally make him pay child support, but I don't think theres really anything else you can do.

My advice is to give it a little time and try to talk to him again. I bet he's just scared shitless about being a father..
Author:  Sharp25 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey SG, sorry to hear about what you're going through. I understand breakups can be tough when one side isn't ready to give up. You gave advice in another thread about moving on because this other person can't be trusted. Sounds like you may be facing a similar situation. Giving up on something you put so much effort into is never easy... but you are going to have a child and that will be your new #1 focus. You're down now... but the good thing about being knocked down is the only place to go is up. GL you'll be a-ok ;)
Author:  VietnameseProdigy [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Do not listen to DGC, that is horrible and immature advice.

Now you are not giving us a lot of details to work with, we need details to give you SOLID advice.

All I know is
1. You're pregnant
2. He ditched

How was your sex life? What else irritated you about him? How do you KNOW that he is a PUA? etc.. I need details, details, and details. I know there is more to it than just the baby that caused him to ditch.

Private Message me if you don't want to share the info with other people.
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