PUA Forum :: Finally landed my onetitis...but she has a boyfriend!

I'm a girl.. maybe I can help. How old are you two? You didn't mention that in your post.

Honestly, if a girl friend of mine told me she did this, I would take issue with it. It's not right and not fair to her boyfriend. I have a friend who has done this to her boyfriend (cheated with other guys). I distanced myself from her. This is not an honest person. She always stays with her boyfriend. I'm not trying to scare you or anything. All people are different, but personally speaking, the girls I know who do this stay with their boyfriends anyway. How long has she been with the guy?

If you are serious about her, you need to give her an ultimatum. Don't allow yourself to be her fling on the side while she has a boyfriend or you give her no reason to leave him. But then again, do you want a person like that in your life? Just my .02.

Author:	wonder10 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:38 am ]
Post subject:	Finally landed my onetitis...but she has a boyfriend!
I've known this girl for 7 months or so. We hung out a lot during the summer and I was able to k-close her, but nothing really happened afterward. This was due to my failure to escalate properly and weak inner game...i basically overgamed her and played it too cool, that she lost interest and I could slowly feel myself moving into the friendzone. I just recently found out she started dating someone and as much as it broke my heart, I accepted the situation for what it was. I was considering just cutting her out of my life, but I came to realize that she's someone I want in my life regardless. So I didn't plan on using any bf destroyers or any of that but to just be my usual flirty self when I'm around her. However, we were hanging out at my place last week and started to get into some pretty deep conversations. Eventually we started talking about the two of us and how we both enjoyed the kiss we shared during the summer. Surprisingly, she said that she was disappointed that I didn't try to date her and that she thinks we would make a good couple, etc. She even mentioned that she feels jealous thinking about me with other girls. As you can imagine, I'm shocked that she's saying this to me...basically the girl i've been head over heels for telling me that SHE wanted the same thing I did! I played it cool and just said that I was going through some stuff during the summer and I wasn't in the right mind set for a relationship and that I cared about her but was afraid to hurt her. Well sure enough, it was getting late so she asked if she could sleep over. We were cuddling in my bed and one thing eventually led to another...! The next morning, we hooked up again but shortly after I could tell she started to get hit with ASD. I tried my best to act casual about it and when I texted her later in the day, it was about something funny we talked about the night before. Since then, she's been calling/texting me everyday. Although we haven't talked about our hook up, I can now tell she's really into me. So how do I play this? As far as I know, she still has a boyfriend. I'm not usually one to break up relationships, but i've been gaming this girl for a looooong time (before she even met her current bf). I would love to be in a relationship with her, but now I'm worried about the whole 'if she cheated on her bf, there's a good chance she'll cheat on you too' mantra. But does this apply to this situation? (where she liked me this entire time, but thought i wasn't interested) Any advice on how to proceed? Do I show her more interest? Or act casual about it and pretend it didn't happen? I don't want to act needy/clingy, but at the same time I want her to know that I am still interested in her and it wasn't just a one night stand. I've pretty much defied the odds here and I really don't want to mess this up!

Author:	somegirl [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:49 am ]
Post subject:
I'm a girl.. maybe I can help. How old are you two? You didn't mention that in your post. Honestly, if a girl friend of mine told me she did this, I would take issue with it. It's not right and not fair to her boyfriend. I have a friend who has done this to her boyfriend (cheated with other guys). I distanced myself from her. This is not an honest person. She always stays with her boyfriend. I'm not trying to scare you or anything. All people are different, but personally speaking, the girls I know who do this stay with their boyfriends anyway. How long has she been with the guy? If you are serious about her, you need to give her an ultimatum. Don't allow yourself to be her fling on the side while she has a boyfriend or you give her no reason to leave him. But then again, do you want a person like that in your life? Just my .02.

Author:	wonder10 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:59 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I'm a girl.. maybe I can help. How old are you two? You didn't mention that in your post. Honestly, if a girl friend of mine told me she did this, I would take issue with it. It's not right and not fair to her boyfriend. I have a friend who has done this to her boyfriend (cheated with other guys). I distanced myself from her. This is not an honest person. She always stays with her boyfriend. I'm not trying to scare you or anything. All people are different, but personally speaking, the girls I know who do this stay with their boyfriends anyway. How long has she been with the guy? If you are serious about her, you need to give her an ultimatum. Don't allow yourself to be her fling on the side while she has a boyfriend or you give her no reason to leave him. But then again, do you want a person like that in your life? Just my .02. We're both 24 yrs old. She's only been dating this guy for about a month or so, if that makes any difference. When we were talking, she basically said that she only started dating her bf because she thought i wasn't interested in her. After we hooked up, she was asking why all of a sudden, i'm starting to show interest....i didn't know how to respond to that (because the real reason is that I was too scared to escalate)! You suggest an ultimatum, but in my experience, those never turn out well. I think an ultimatum after 1 hook-up is little brash, no?

Author:	Sharp25 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:10 am ]
Post subject:
Ultimatum is not a great idea. Keep up what you're doing, have fun, and let nature take its course. Don't worry about her BF, that's her problem not yours my man.

Author:	somegirl [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:17 am ]
Post subject:
Sure, keep it up if you just want to see her and sleep with her when it's convenient for her. I don't mean a strict ultimatum. But you shouldn't continue to have sex with her and act flirty/interested in her when she still has a boyfriend. She's not going to leave him. And if she does get with you, she will cheat. I'm a girl. I would know. I have friends who do this. My advice? Find a good girl. She's a slut.

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Author:	jrox322 [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:16 am ]
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Lol.. my advice is to get in then get out.. she's right.. definately not girlfriend material.. plus if and when she does tell her boyfriend about you.. you got that shit to deal with.. is that something you really want to deal with at this point in your life?

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