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Moral dilemma
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Author:  Darth Skater [ Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Moral dilemma
There's this girl who's been showing some IOI's to me lately. Now while this is great she has a boyfriend. I'm not totally sure about their situation but I've read it as she's not really happy with him (don't know the guy). So last weekend we were at a bar and we had this moment where we shared a really long eye contact, she started to blush and giggle. Wasn't really expecting that but thought it was nice nonetheless. I asked why her boyfriend wasn't with her and she said he doesn't go to bars. So today she kinda asked me out on friday (to the same place). Maybe I'm just imagining things but it felt a bit weird as I've never seen her there before until last weekend (and I'm there very often).

Is she like trying the ice or something? I do like her she's really sweet but I don't really feel comfortable messing with a relationship. Not sure what to do.
Author:  JSmooth [ Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Moral dilemma
Quote:
There's this girl who's been showing some IOI's to me lately. Now while this is great she has a boyfriend. I'm not totally sure about their situation but I've read it as she's not really happy with him (don't know the guy). So last weekend we were at a bar and we had this moment where we shared a really long eye contact, she started to blush and giggle. Wasn't really expecting that but thought it was nice nonetheless. I asked why her boyfriend wasn't with her and she said he doesn't go to bars. So today she kinda asked me out on friday (to the same place). Maybe I'm just imagining things but it felt a bit weird as I've never seen her there before until last weekend (and I'm there very often).

Is she like trying the ice or something? I do like her she's really sweet but I don't really feel comfortable messing with a relationship. Not sure what to do.
If you don't feel comfortable messing with a girl that's in a relationship then don't go. It's very nice of her to invite you out but it would be inappropriate really.
Author:  neyos [ Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Moral dilemma
Quote:
I do like her she's really sweet but I don't really feel comfortable messing with a relationship..


yes..don't go any further.

to me, this post already makes you the hero of the day in this forum.

it's not a moral dilemma. it's "good" ..it separates you from "the bad" and "the ugly".

I detest people seducing those married or in a relationship. especially when it is obvious, that their "relationship" has slightly lost its spice over the years, reached a low or is in a temporary crisis.
the seducer then has the unfair advantage of appearing so fresh, new and exciting versus the other partner who has had to put up with his partners ticks and flaws much for a much longer time already.

going for those already in a relationship, is in my opinion as lame and detestable as big guys beating up little kids; especially when it is obvious that it is a not so perfect but still serious relationship.

I don't live by a great deal of firm rules. but not going for someone else's partner is a big one for me.

regards :wink:

ps: I use the term "seduce" but for this post it is interchangeable with "attract" (attracting and not putting the handbrakes on, when...whatever).
Author:  Ayo [ Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
She is clearly showing interest especially by inviting you to a bar which she KNOWS her boyfriend wont be there, because he doesnt go to bars *hint hint*.

She obviously wants you to rescue her from her relationship which is not doing so good. Its her thats taking the initiative and you dont know the guy so you arent really doing any wrong doing in my opinion..
Author:  neyos [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She is clearly showing interest especially by inviting you to a bar which she KNOWS her boyfriend wont be there, because he doesnt go to bars *hint hint*.

She obviously wants you to rescue her from her relationship which is not doing so good. Its her thats taking the initiative and you dont know the guy so you arent really doing any wrong doing in my opinion..
the only time I could accept that, is when she doesn't tell that she has a BF and I don't have a clue.

:roll: if a chick needs to be rescued, then she's no good and doesn't meet my standards anyway. that chick could bring more trouble than anything else.
I'd tell her to get over her relationship first and come back in a few months if it's such a "rescue thing".
Author:  Ayo [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
She is clearly showing interest especially by inviting you to a bar which she KNOWS her boyfriend wont be there, because he doesnt go to bars *hint hint*.

She obviously wants you to rescue her from her relationship which is not doing so good. Its her thats taking the initiative and you dont know the guy so you arent really doing any wrong doing in my opinion..
the only time I could accept that, is when she doesn't tell that she has a BF and I don't have a clue.

:roll: if a chick needs to be rescued, then she's no good and doesn't meet my standards anyway. that chick could bring more trouble than anything else.
I'd tell her to get over her relationship first and come back in a few months if it's such a "rescue thing".
Well it is a moral dilemma - aka a personal opinion, but mine is if shes not still emotionally committed to him all a "boyfriend" is, is a title right? With the eagerness to meet up this girl is showing and the IOIs with the eyecontact, blushing, etc it seems like she has already "gotten" over the emotional commitment.

And Darth Skater, there's no need to bring up the boyfriend at all if she doesnt mention it. (Which is a huge IOI, girls who are NOT interested will bring up their boyfriend all the time till you get the point.)
Author:  Klaasvaak [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Do you even care what she has for troubles with her boyfriend?

Listen to yourself. Do you want to seduce her? Yes or no?
If yes, do so. If no, dont do it.
Author:  Darth Skater [ Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the great advice. The thing is I wasn't trying to seduce her because I knew she has a boyfriend, that's why I was a little taken back by her attention. Now normally when I know someones involved I will leave it alone, I've been cheated on and it's not nice. I've seen her get really irritated by him when she gets texts from him, also her body language around him is less than convincing.

Sigh I think I should leave it alone though. I've been stuck in a bit of a rut and I clearly don't have the abundance mentality, that's probably why my mind starts thinking up excuses why it would be okay to make a move.
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