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| Horniness https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=122302 |
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| Author: | Shyler [ Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Horniness |
I hope you guys can help me out here. I get the feeling that it's becoming a serious problem. Everywhere I go here, I see hot girls walking and passing. It's unhealthy for me. I can't take my eyes off any hot girl. I can only think about fucking them when I see hot girls. I'm always so horny. When with friends I can't stop talking about hot chicks. I often wish I couldn't care about them, or think about them, or get so horny from them. I'm a horny dude, I've always been, but it's getting worse with the time. But my horniness remains unanswered. I'm currently on a dry spell for a few months. I think my horniness arises from a hidden neediness, and from having adhd. When havind adhd, I need thrills badly. I get thrills by seeing hot girls, by flirting with hot girls, and by kissing, touching and fucking them. The hidden neediness might be something realy deep in me, something that calls for love and affection. This is a neediness I try to suppress with routines, body language, cocky&funny etc. But that horniness in turn affects my game. It makes me more needy because I need to fuck or I need some horny attention from a girl. The more needy I become the more horny I am, the more needy I become again, etc. It's a circle. Because of the arising neediness, I'm getting to care about too much things. I acknowledge that it might be an inner game issue. The last few months, I tried alot to become more confident by getting to meet new people, joining new activitities, etc. I became the chairman of my dj crew, I dj at alot of parties with friends, sometimes even two times a week. I joined a salsa club and, while joining it quite late, I caught up realy quickly. I feel like I'm talented for it and I realy like it alot. The girls realy enjoy dancing with me. I also feel like I'm the only 19 year old guy who participates in salsa. The other guys are like always 24 and older. It gives me a good and proud feeling that I unlike many others of my age dare to do something like salsa. Salsa made me more aware of female body language and gave me more confidence opening girls as well. I open more girls at parties than before and that's good. I also joined a field hockey club, with alot of new people, more sporting involved, new parties. But all this is killing me as well. The DJing gives me sleepless nights and I'm always fucked up the day after. Being the chairman of the dj crew gives me alot of new responsabilities, making me a better leader, but it takes much time and makes me deep down insecure as well. Doing salsa, DJing and hockey makes it that I'm never at home in the evening. So much change in my life at once makes me depressed and insecure as well. Meanwhile, university goes on, and I have so many appointments. Normally I have time at daytime to make it, but because of adhd I'm almost unable to focus on courses and appointments. It gives me alot of stress. It also makes me very tired everytime, and I get insecure as well. I've failed on exams. It seems like doing more, trying more, working on myself, having an attractive lifestyle, made me perhaps more insecure. This insecurity plus the horniness makes me fuck up my game. I couldn't have a normal, smooth conversation with girls I met or opened lately. Thus my game is not well and seducing girls is getting pretty difficult. There are two girls at the moment who like me. They're from my salsa, and they're seduced by the magic (skills+eye contact) I create when they dance with me. But no matter how nice they are, they're just not hot enough to attract me. Girls, even cute and hot ones, who are not intelligent and who are not passionate by things just bore me and thus annoy me. When finally meeting a cute/hot girl who is funny and intelligent and easy going, I get to like her. I start thinking less about fucking her, but more about being affectionate and intimate with her. This ruins my game as well and I know this is wrong. I am reducing alot of activities for the next month. Trying to get my life ordened, find more rest. But the horniness, and the neediness which goes with it, don't dissapear. I try to hide neediness with everything I've learned from pick up. Horniness I use sometimes in pick up, sometimes it helps me in clubs, but mostly it's counterproductive. I feel like being in a circle I can't get out. I'm stuck. It feels difficult to improve my inner game, because trying to improve gives me alot of obstacles and problems. I don't want to be horny so much and being affected by (hotness from) girls anymore. I don't know how to solve these problems. Thanks for any advice in advance. |
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| Author: | darrryll [ Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | re |
blue mountain state can teach you so much: buy a pocket pussy, fuck it and everytime you go out, you just know there will be some pussy waiting for you. Just make sure it is hidden for when you actually do score a chick. |
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| Author: | Shyler [ Sun Dec 04, 2011 6:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Dude, have you actualy read what I said? I have a bigger problem than one that just can be fixed by wanking. If you don't care to read my problem than don't care about giving stupid answers. |
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| Author: | vdentata [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
It sounds like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy/mindfulness strategies may be helpful for you. It encourages being mindful and accepting unpleasant thoughts or feelings and just keeping them in awareness. Reacting to the horniness, judging yourself, and trying to suppress distressing cognitions may be more damaging than the horniness itself. Think of feeling horny or needing attention as events that arise as opposed to defining yourself by them. 6 core processes in ACT- 1. Contacting The Present Moment means being psychologically present: consciously connecting with whatever is happening right here, right now. 2. Defusion means learning to step back or detach from unhelpful thoughts and worries and memories: instead of getting caught up in your thoughts, or pushed around by them, or struggling to get rid of them, you learn how to let them come and go - as if they were just cars driving past outside your house. You learn how to step back and watch your thinking, so you can respond effectively - instead of getting tangled up or lost inside your thinking. 3. Acceptance means opening up and making room for painful feelings and sensations. You learn how to drop the struggle with them, give them some breathing space, and let them be there without getting all caught up in them, or overwhelmed by them; the more you can open up, and give them room to move, the easier it is for your feelings to come and go without draining you or holding you back. 4. The Observing Self is the part of you that is responsible for awareness and attention. We don't have a word for it in common everyday language - we normally just talk about the "mind'. But there are two parts to the mind: the thinking self - i.e. the part that is always thinking; the part that is responsible for all your thoughts, beliefs, memories, judgments, fantasies etc. And then there's the observing self - the part of your mind that is able to be aware of whatever you are thinking or feeling or doing at any moment. Without it, you couldn't develop those mindfulness skills. And the more you practice those mindfulness skills, the more you'll become aware of this part of your mind, and able to access it when you need it. (The technical term for this, in ACT, is 'self-as-context'.) 5. Values are what you want your life to be about, deep in your heart. What you want to stand for. What you want to do with your time on this planet. What ultimately matters to you in the big picture. What you would like to be remembered for by the people you love. 6. Committed action means taking action guided by your values - doing what matters - even if it's difficult or uncomfortable When you put all these things together, you develop 'psychological' flexibility. This is the ability to be in the present moment, with awareness and openness, and take action, guided by your values. In other words, it's the ability to be present, open up, and do what matters. The greater your ability to be present, open up and do what matters, the greater your quality of life - the greater your sense of vitality, wellbeing and fulfillment. (taken from website-can't link) |
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