I want to tell this little back story here as it kind of pertains to my game as a whole and learn a little bit of how I can prevent these mistakes in the future. Kind of a tl;dr post but bear with me, I think there are a few lessons from this.
6 years ago I met a friend of a friend through myspace who was a cute quirky brunette prob HB9 who had a bit in common with me was fun and really nice etc etc and we had correspondence for a few months until I deleted my myspace and that was that and I didnt think much of it for a few years.
After a bit though I found myself thinking of her more and more and I realized it was because she seemed to lack many of the traits I despise in a fair share girls I've come across like superficiality, self-centeredness and the general social programming most girls have. It was the first time since Middle School I fell for a chick for who she is and not her looks. My friend was useless in helping me come back in contact with her(long story) and I longed for years to get the oppurtunity to meet her face to face sometime as I've never felt that way about a chick in awhile.
Finally fall of last year I got that chance through a bonfire she was having at her place that my friends were invited to and thought, AWESOME. By this point I had just started reading the game and was just starting to become familiar with PUA tactics and figured if nothing else I could at least get my foot in the door and have a springboard for future interactions. So the night came we came by a little late and holy shit did she blossom in those few years and honestly caught me a little off guard not to mention finally seeing her in the flesh. After a brief introduction to her (I didnt even bother to ask if she remembered our myspace interactions) I figured I would talk to her friends first and DHV a little bit then get back to her. About an hour passed before I saw my window to reopen her again came then suddenly she decided she was tired and ended the shindig before I got my chance. Damn, strike one.
Couple months pass I gradually improve my game and have a few dates and whatev, but I still had my eye on the prize and hoped for another oppurtunity. I saw her a few times at the resturant she works at but was way too busy for me to open in a meaningful fashion. It wasnt until March of this year that she was throwing a birthday shindig my friends were attending for a night out at some cool bars around my town. JACKPOT, exactly what I needed. I was ecstatic.
Night finally came and I had a huge headache and really tired from overtime the previous night but I was like "FUCK THAT, YOU ARE GOING TO BE A TROOPER AND MAKE IT FUCKING WORK AND FORCE TONIGHT TO BE AWESOME REGARDLESS OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES", so I picked up my buddies and tried to trudge through it. The first things I noticed was that the friends with her this time werent at all friendly like the ones at previous event, nearly everyone there was shoulder to shoulder backs turned like a big wall of douchery and attempting to converse with any of them and they had a "yeah whatever" kind of response and I thought fine fuck these guys shouldnt matter as long as I have fun with the girl. So I see her and in stark contrast with most of her dickweed friends she was being bubbly and friendly for the most part and me, my friends and her exchanged pleasantries, tried my damndest to DHV and hook with mild success (this wasnt a small task considering how shitty I felt) and had a little bit of fun. I got a little tripped up when a neg I unintentionally delivered was ill-recieved but I brushed it off. Then it was time to make an excursion to the next bar a few blocks away in furious snow and cold and me and my two buddies went ahead a little early while she corraled her friends.
By the time we got to the next bar my headache got much worse and my friends who I went with were starting to show their drunkeness. The music was really loud and I was in no mood to be out but I thought to myself I couldnt blow this chance that has basically been handed to me on a silver platter. When I met her again I had gone completely blank and couldnt think of anything remotely worthy to say. I realized just how much I had put into the outcome of this night and couldnt at all shake the need to make a good impression on her and have a good outcome, tried as I might. I ended up boring/chodeing off her so much that she turned her back on me, one of the friendliest girls I've ever met. By this point my friends were smashed, one got thrown out of the bar and another was about get into a fight with a member of the group not mention my headache was going into hyper drive so I just said "fuck it" grabbed my buddies and left abrubtly as flustered as I had ever been.
I learned alot that night, albeit in almost the worst possible way and I have improved my game moderately and dated a few cool other chicks. That being said I could never really swallow that I had completely squandered my 2 chances meeting the girl I had longed for for years and that anxiety, although I've done much to improve and defeat it has never completely went away because of that instance. I think the best way to do this would be closure and attempt one more time a pickup of that particular girl then that would be that regardless of what becomes of it and move on. I became friends with her on facebook, comment on her shit once in a while nothing major I go to the resturant she works at periodically with my peeps and by sheer maddening coincidence always off the days I came(story of my life).
Reading this, its probably easy to dismiss this as oneitis seeing as I've been dating other girls but that really isnt the case. Though I'd love to hook up with her, for the most part I just want the chance to redeem myself and put my failures behind me once and for all. So here are my 2 main questions. 1. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE SUBTLE THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE TO HAVE HAD A BETTER OUTCOME THAN THE NIGHT POSTED ABOVE? 2. GIVEN THIS LITTLE HISTORY BETWEEN US WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO APPROACH AN INTERACTION WITH THIS GIRL IN THE FUTURE? Being as she's pretty down to earth and she's apparently had loads of dissappointments as far as guys are concerned I think a direct approach might be the way to go and just remember to keep a strong frame. Thanks for any input.
Bonus question: Any good waitress game tips? LOL
