PUA Forum :: When flakes come back around...

I have a philosophy, there are enough girls and attractive girls at that, "if she flakes I shut the door."

I do understand that a lot of flaking might have to do with poor execution of attraction building but I see no reason to chase flakes. It grinds my gears.

But I have also learned, flaking is just a part of what girls in my scene do. Even my girl friends do it to guys they like cause for the most part, they are clueless and unaware. They just don't get it.

But herein lies the dilemma. I believe that I retain my self confidence and my inner game by not placating flakes. My favorite word is, "NEXT".... And I move on and cut the girl off. (I think I once read David D say, women are like heroine in a needle in your arm, as soon as you feel yourself getting too addicted or not having control, pull out the needle and toss it.") I try to live by that idea. They play by my rules or not at all. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I might even give them a few chances but then I cut it.
(I should just treat them all likes flake from the beginning, but then how do you get anywhere?)

Without fail, sometimes days or weeks or months later, they seem to always reappear. They almost always come after me. Cat string theory and women want what they can't have...

Am I being too stubborn? Should I let them back in for another round?
- It can be hard for me not to get excited about a girl even though I have an active sex/social life. I get eager. I try to maintain discipline but sometimes get caught up in the moment.

But I also think, maybe they are just seeking attention. I certainly don't want to be the one to give it to them after I closed the door.

Have I made my point with them? Have I demonstrated punishment/reward? Can I give them a second chance? Should I?

A girl who used to be really ambiguous in her texts to me, would flake or just generally made me feel like I had to chase, I cut her off. But I also ended up F closing her a few weeks ago.

So, what's the thought on this? After a few weeks or months and after I have imprinted in their brains that I don't stand for that behavior, it it okay to reengage?

I had a girl who completely stood me up one night with concert tickets and she's been hitting me up ever since on FB, texts, etc. This was months ago. I completely ignore her... But she's still texting me...

Author:	TheLoneWolf [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:06 am ]
Post subject:	When flakes come back around...
I have a philosophy, there are enough girls and attractive girls at that, "if she flakes I shut the door." I do understand that a lot of flaking might have to do with poor execution of attraction building but I see no reason to chase flakes. It grinds my gears. But I have also learned, flaking is just a part of what girls in my scene do. Even my girl friends do it to guys they like cause for the most part, they are clueless and unaware. They just don't get it. But herein lies the dilemma. I believe that I retain my self confidence and my inner game by not placating flakes. My favorite word is, "NEXT".... And I move on and cut the girl off. (I think I once read David D say, women are like heroine in a needle in your arm, as soon as you feel yourself getting too addicted or not having control, pull out the needle and toss it.") I try to live by that idea. They play by my rules or not at all. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I might even give them a few chances but then I cut it. (I should just treat them all likes flake from the beginning, but then how do you get anywhere?) Without fail, sometimes days or weeks or months later, they seem to always reappear. They almost always come after me. Cat string theory and women want what they can't have... Am I being too stubborn? Should I let them back in for another round? - It can be hard for me not to get excited about a girl even though I have an active sex/social life. I get eager. I try to maintain discipline but sometimes get caught up in the moment. But I also think, maybe they are just seeking attention. I certainly don't want to be the one to give it to them after I closed the door. Have I made my point with them? Have I demonstrated punishment/reward? Can I give them a second chance? Should I? A girl who used to be really ambiguous in her texts to me, would flake or just generally made me feel like I had to chase, I cut her off. But I also ended up F closing her a few weeks ago. So, what's the thought on this? After a few weeks or months and after I have imprinted in their brains that I don't stand for that behavior, it it okay to reengage? I had a girl who completely stood me up one night with concert tickets and she's been hitting me up ever since on FB, texts, etc. This was months ago. I completely ignore her... But she's still texting me...

Author:	Verite [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:14 am ]
Post subject:
I have a similar problem... I end up acting like it's all good. But I don't think that's the way you should act. Only reason I do that is so it wont be awkward and so that something potentially can manifest from it. If their is a certain way to deal with this. I'd also love to know how to go about it.

Author:	Mack 2.0 [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:31 am ]
Post subject:	Re: When flakes come back around...
Quote: I have a philosophy, there are enough girls and attractive girls at that, "if she flakes I shut the door." I do understand that a lot of flaking might have to do with poor execution of attraction building but I see no reason to chase flakes. It grinds my gears. But I have also learned, flaking is just a part of what girls in my scene do. Even my girl friends do it to guys they like cause for the most part, they are clueless and unaware. They just don't get it. But herein lies the dilemma. I believe that I retain my self confidence and my inner game by not placating flakes. My favorite word is, "NEXT".... And I move on and cut the girl off. (I think I once read David D say, women are like heroine in a needle in your arm, as soon as you feel yourself getting too addicted or not having control, pull out the needle and toss it.") I try to live by that idea. They play by my rules or not at all. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I might even give them a few chances but then I cut it. (I should just treat them all likes flake from the beginning, but then how do you get anywhere?) Without fail, sometimes days or weeks or months later, they seem to always reappear. They almost always come after me. Cat string theory and women want what they can't have... Am I being too stubborn? Should I let them back in for another round? - It can be hard for me not to get excited about a girl even though I have an active sex/social life. I get eager. I try to maintain discipline but sometimes get caught up in the moment. But I also think, maybe they are just seeking attention. I certainly don't want to be the one to give it to them after I closed the door. Have I made my point with them? Have I demonstrated punishment/reward? Can I give them a second chance? Should I? A girl who used to be really ambiguous in her texts to me, would flake or just generally made me feel like I had to chase, I cut her off. But I also ended up F closing her a few weeks ago. So, what's the thought on this? After a few weeks or months and after I have imprinted in their brains that I don't stand for that behavior, it it okay to reengage? I had a girl who completely stood me up one night with concert tickets and she's been hitting me up ever since on FB, texts, etc. This was months ago. I completely ignore her... But she's still texting me... ahhh, lonewolf the dilemma it all depends on what you are seeking

Author:	TheLoneWolf [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 5:11 am ]
Post subject:	Re: When flakes come back around...
Quote: ahhh, lonewolf the dilemma it all depends on what you are seeking Had to think about that one for .3 seconds. SEX, sex and of course, MORE SEX.

Author:	mi1ooo98 [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 5:23 am ]
Post subject:
Lonewolf, i'm not exactly sure what your question is, can you make it clear?

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Author:	vicparkguy83 [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:58 am ]
Post subject:
Sexual vibe: Keep probing, if she flakes try again, text every few weeks until you F-close or she stops replying. No sexual vibe: 1 flake get rid of her unless she's an HB8+ I've had a few girls flake multiple times but then eventually come good, so I keep trying, quit too early and you could be throwing away a good F-close. But I only keep probing if there's a strong sexual vibe (eg we've exchanged nude pics, talked about having sex etc).

Author:	Herne [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:
my own way of dealing with it is only invite them to things you were going to yourself anyway with or without her....say the cinema if there is a great film u wanna see and u ask her to be there at 7pm for the start...when ure there at 6.45, have bought your ticket, pop corn and drink and theres no sign of her--dont hang around hoping shell turn up--- thats when you take your seat turn off your phone and enjoy the film regardless if shes stuck in traffic, giving her sister emotional support to get through having her toenails manacured or she has made a mistake and ended up on a flight to Bangladesh---none of that is your problem, ur there to enjoy the film, enjoy it

Author:	TheLoneWolf [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 8:00 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Lonewolf, i'm not exactly sure what your question is, can you make it clear? If you are courting a girl who flakes or flat out stood you up or does both, would you reengage with her if she kept making an effort? If she did flake or stand you up but subsequently, continually tries to reinitiate communication, do you think she's just seeking attention/validation?

Author:	mi1ooo98 [ Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:58 pm ]
Post subject:
I think, it's irrelevant to try and find out if she's an attention seeker. If i liked her, i'd reengaged. I'd arrange a meet up with her, a very low effort one, so if she flaked, it wouldn't even matter. If she it seems like she's perfectly flaking, don't talk to her, if it seems like her flake was called for, then keep trying.

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