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A HB9 tries to dominate
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Author:  lammas [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 9:50 am ]
Post subject:  A HB9 tries to dominate
Hi! I'm new here, nice to find you. I want some opinion in my story

After quite long time of minor chatting with a girl we finally went out last Friday.
I didn't let here decide anything so she "complained": "I hate that you dominate this thing"
Things worked fine, much making out, I didn't bang her, there was no chance then. When I left she took a hat that I had

Saturday: I send a cocky message, she replies, after 2-3 message exchanges I stop replying as there was no real need

Sunday: same

Monday, Tuesday: I don't make any contact

Wednesday she invites me in FB in some shit and she says that she has my hat as a hostage.

I try to call her the same day. No answer. then she texts
G:"hey you called, what's up blah blah"

Me:"Yes indeed blah blah, are you as good as I remember?"
G: (Answers right away)"Better"
Me:(Answered right away)"Then I want to see you"
G:(No answer)

Thursday I call her, she answers, we have some random conversation. I say I "want to see you", no real answer. After some more random discussion I say "Let's meet tomorrow there" and says "I can't I'll go to a gig" but nothing else. After that some shit and good night.

I feel I'm losing control.

Any suggestions?

Should I leave it for while?
Should I keep it simple?

Thanks,

lammas
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:32 am ]
Post subject: 
wow, she certainly likes to be chased, ey?
Author:  lammas [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
wow, she certainly likes to be chased, ey?
Yep.. so it seems it's not just in my head.

Actually I'm pretty excited with her, but don't want to seem needy.

Obviously she wants me to call every second day and ask "what about going out". I can't really follow, but this chick seems a fucking challenge!
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:42 am ]
Post subject: 
have fun with the chase, be playful, over-the-top, but non-needy?

don't suggest any meetups at all?

just play?

that's what i would do.

match her interest level, but don't make a move until she stops playing.
Author:  EddieFews [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
wow, she certainly likes to be chased, ey?
Actually I'm pretty excited with her, but don't want to seem needy.
Everytime, I heard a guy use the above line( A shit load of times on the forum) it never ends up in their favor... To be successful with women, this shouldn't even be something your thinking about.
Author:  lammas [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
@fuzz: yeah i don't doubt. I'm just honest, I'm here to learn and get advice, not to pose my alphaness,

Thanks for the advice guys. As usually it seems that the best attitude is to go out just today and hit 10s.

Actually I have already planned that ;)
Author:  Breaking Bad [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 2:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
IMO you've blown it. And guess what you didnt do anything wrong. I hate this too. IM ALL FOR BEING HONEST AND DIRECT AND I THINK ITS AWESOME THAT I BASE MY GAME ON IT, HOWEVER.... The only exception I make to this is when I want a relationship to form, or when youre in the stupid power tug of war game girls play, so I play it back.

I had the EXACT same thing earlier this year. So hopefully my advice can salvage yours.

We had already fucked and met up twice. So I thought okay Ive already banged her, now i can just be honest about this and tell her I want to see her and she will comply.

So I sent a real direct message like you did.

just something basic like... I think you're cute and I want to see you this weekend! ;)

I think after that message alone it was never the same again. By telling them you want them, you can lose them just like that.

Alot of the time a tug of war begins where both parties are a bit unsure about who is more invested or who is overinvested because the last thing you want is someone clingy!, so if you tell her 100% your motive, she knows all that she has to do to take control is to: NOT do what you said. Bingo she now has the power.

Heres what I learnt on women logic. No matter what you still have to be a challenge at the start. Its fucked and childish I know and sometimes you just dig the girl so much and dont want to be a challenge, you just want her. But trust me be a challenge and dont make it completely obvious about your intentions - I always do this now.

Because...
Wheres the thrill for her now if theres no chase?
She might think youre a clingy type.. and I know how I feel about clingy girls..
You just revealed all your cards to her and gave yourself up! and she knows that to take control she just does the opposite of what you said by making such bold direct statements.

So... I suggest you just play it cool from now and be a bit more of a challenge.

Id ask her to post you your hat back :D. Not in a sooking way, but its important to keep her guessing if you're teasing her/flirting/joking/being serious. This will throw her a mixed message. If she says ok, just give her your address and act cool like its no biggy for you. By giving her your address now she knows she can come over and just drop it off to you. If she actually does post it shes not worth it lmao. But if youre cool and hold your frame of not caring the most that youre 'losing her' she will most likely crack and ask why she has to post it... thats when you will have to meet up again. bingo ;)
Author:  lammas [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Hi again. First of all thanks for the advice and opinions, I really appreciate this stuff.

I had a good story during weekend, and today I go out with some 6, so I don't feel like dedicated to that chick.

However she is a fucking challenge and I just want to test out my chances (and her ass).

So, Saturday night she sent a message about "what's up" and typical bullshit ("me and you hat are having fun"), i replied with something typical, not even cocky and saying "give some beer to my hat and treat it gently", she replied again with absolute bullshit, but I did not reply then.

I really pinpointed from your sayings:
Quote:
match her interest level, but don't make a move until she stops playing.
Quote:
I think after that message alone it was never the same again.
I think that this is too true. I was also talking with some friends and it seems that at least here (Helsinki, Finland), once you say "I want to see you" it's like triggering and opening the bullshit box of the girl. But I'm always straightforward, still cocky though. Sometimes maybe too early



Overview:

1. I think to keep on contact once in a while with no meetup offer.
2. I want to do something crazy but I have noooo idea at all. I don't know exactly where she lives ;)

Any suggestions?

BTW, I don't think that posting the hat would work at all. At least not in my case, I temporarily live with relatives for a while so I can't really do that
Author:  Breaking Bad [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
yea man the last thing you want to do is push for a meetup

Like you were saying
"Then I want to see you"
her: "no reply"

it puts her out of the comfort zone and she will usually get on the defence, and make up excuses why she cant, or just avoid it altogether.

You gotta be more of a smooth talker sometimes to set up a meeting. not just: I want to see you. That wont cut it.

Soften her into it.

goodluck!
Author:  lammas [ Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Hi guys! Thanks for the help.

I've got some news. Sorry for the big story

Sunday: nothing
Monday: nothing
Tuesday: I called her:

Me: What's up?
She: Heey fine! I'm cooking

blah blah blah
blah blah

Me: How is your dominance going nowadays?
She: fmhmfhm, what??
Me: I mean how is you dominance going?
She: (...silence...)
Me: I guess it goes fine 'cause I already accepted my defeat. You can keep my hat, I found a new one..
She: What? You find a new hat?

blah blah
blah blah

Me: Well I guess you wonder why I called you, huh?
She: Well...
Me: I just had some walking distance to home and decided combine it with your nice voice

blah blah

Me: OK, I'm almost home, nice to hear you, see you.
She: Wait, I would invite you for the dinner but... (She had invited some friends)
Me: Well, I would.. I would..

blah blah
Me: Bye
She: Bye

After about half an hour she texted me:
"I'm really sorry about these phone conversations, not my strongest area... :D
Have fun in the concert if you are going" (I was going to a concert that night)

I replied something like "Ha! Thanks, have fun too"

Yesterday she sent some random exercising video in fb and said "start practicing!"

I feel like I've saved the thing a little. Like I've broken her defence a little.
What would you suggest? I still think that offering a meetup would be risky. And calling again for just random reason would be too much

Thanks guys,

lammas
Author:  somebody delete this shit [ Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:41 am ]
Post subject: 
You're not giving her a reason to go out with you..you're basically just saying let's fuck by let's meet up


a girl is going to say no to that

the easiest thing i do is oh hey i have netflix let's watch something
Author:  Leo-Jed [ Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would have said "man what is it with you girls and my clothes. If I could have all the clothes back that you girls have at your houses I could restock my wardrobe. Next time I'm getting ready for a night out i'm going to turn up at your houses in my towel to get dressed. One house for my jeans, then drive to Sarahs for my shirt, then to you for my hat. If you don't want me to turn up at your house in my towel you better drop that hat back" (preselection)

Also NEVER ask a girl if she wants to meet up. You are putting the responsibility in her hands and if you have kissed or had sex before she is only going to think you are after this again.
Author:  lammas [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
So... just to finish that story. I don't want to mention all the in between steps but finally we went out yesterday and ended up at her place.

Then actually it was one of my most embarassing moments of my life. The night was fucked up.

But anyway my point is that it finally worked out until there with no meetup pressure and keeping contact every one-two days and some DQ.

Cheers,

lammas
Author:  calif9876 [ Sat Dec 17, 2011 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
So... just to finish that story. I don't want to mention all the in between steps but finally we went out yesterday and ended up at her place.

Then actually it was one of my most embarassing moments of my life. The night was fucked up.

But anyway my point is that it finally worked out until there with no meetup pressure and keeping contact every one-two days and some DQ.

Cheers,

lammas
Yeah I dont like the way this is going. You absolutely must remain in power with her at all times or its done and I also get the feeling she will actively string you along if you lose control.

ALL OR NOTHING.

And by that I mean, you must be in control. If she tries to seize control by being interested less, you MUST move backwards further than she did, and you MUST find a way to make her jealous/miss you/etc...

Otherwise, as you've seen, she'll just toy with you
Author:  Breaking Bad [ Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Then actually it was one of my most embarassing moments of my life. The night was fucked up.
Care to share? :) Its anonymous
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