| PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| How to stick up for yourself? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=122057 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Century100 [ Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | How to stick up for yourself? |
Hey guys Although I am able to easily open and make some great conversation with groups of people, I absolutely suck at thinking up come backs. For example, at a party I went to last night, an AMOG-ish guy kept saying stuff like "Hush, don't get too excited there buddy" etc, and because it would make others laugh I would simply ignore it like he was a bit of an idiot. (Good news is, I ended up k-closing the girl he was trying to game to the MAX!!!) But still...I felt quite pathetic because I didn't know how to comeback from those kinds of comments. Although in the grand scheme of things, I can quickly tell by my conversations with him that he is deeply insecure and an afc hiding in a confident shell, It still bothers me that I fall so easily to comments against me. Part of the reason is that I suck at insulting people, and conflict in conversation really makes me feel uncomfortable. Whenever I challenge another guy, I honestly feel sad inside for some GAY reason. It's nervousness I spose, but mixed in with actual regret that I might have hut his feelings. For example, this guy in particular was teasing what I was studying, simply because he couldn't get the marks in school to do it. I could sense that, because he was saying stuff like "I could have done that, I was going to but then I realised I didn't want to waste my time. By the time you're finished studying I will already have work in my field." and I could have easily said "Yeah but mate - you'll never get to be an engineer..." But I didn't, because I thought "What if this guy is deeply affected by not getting into engineering and I shatter his confidence further?" and instead replied "Oh wow, I didn't know you could actually get work so early. Good stuff" Later he brought up how much money he makes per hour and how much he's saved. Now, I didn't like this character at all - so I wanted to embarass him in front of everyone by saying "Noone asked how much money you have saved up...but good job for bringing it up on your own!" or something - but thought that might be abit harsh. Now that I'm at home the next day I regret everything, not standing up for myself. This shit ALWAYS happens, because of 3 key reasons a) I just can't think of anything to say because I'm scared that noone will understand my comeback and I'll humiliate myself b) I feel bad that my comebacks might be a little harsh sometimes c) I get an uneasy feeling when conflicting with someone, sort of nervousness due to a) and b) combined. It feels like I'm treading in egg shells with what to say so that it's not stupid or too harsh. Anyway how the hell can I overcome this? My body language is good, and my skills for normal conversation are solid, but I have no clue how to deal with verbal humiliation/intimidation. At the same time, I don't want to start a physical fight because then you look even worse don't you? Do you look insecure if you react by hitting someone, provided they made a harsh comment? Thankyou |
|
| Author: | mi1ooo98 [ Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Have you ever stopped thinking about why these things happen, and stopped and thought why you care? So why do you care, how does it make you feel if you get insulted, why do you have to react to it, why are you letting it insult you, why does it even matter what comes out of his mouth, why are you focusing on it, why are you focusing on what comes out of some random guys mouth so much that you've made a post about it? You can say a comeback if you want to, but you have to realize you don't need to, what you need is to fill in your insecurities and become indifferent, and non dependent on what others are saying to you. Quote: (Good news is, I ended up k-closing the girl he was trying to game to the MAX!!!)
The fact that you say this is good news that you got the girl and he didn't, just goes to show you're dependent on the outcome.But still...I felt quite pathetic because I didn't know how to comeback from those kinds of comments Why would you feel pathetic for not knowing something that is the most unimportant, useless thing to know, and is not going to help you progress in any area of life. Why focus on something that clearly isn't going to get you anywhere even if you did know how to do it? |
|
| Author: | Century100 [ Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
For one reason, and one reason alone. If people laugh at his line, and I have no come back to it, my value will be lowered not because of something I did, but because of something someone else said. By shutting him down in a easy and clean sort of way every time someone attempts an insult, essentially you are turning insults into opportunities to display higher value. It's not about what he said, it's about the fact that he's reducing my chances with others. |
|
| Author: | P-Style [ Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
One line: "yeayeah whatevs dude" and continue. |
|
| Author: | EddieFews [ Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think you should work on becoming the guy that people don't want to insult instead of the guy that knows how to respond to insults.. Which do you prefer? |
|
| Author: | Aegis88 [ Thu Dec 01, 2011 8:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I second the dude above me, and I'd like to add this : To become an AMOG you have to be a bit harsh. Now i dont mean harsh in a manner of "I'll fucking stab you if you say that again" but to know how to give useful comebacks that'll serve your purpose without dragging the situation into violence. You should have said those things, cause if you wanna be an AMOG start acting like one. If you'll start considering each and every person's feelings it'll never end and it didnt seem like he was very sympathetic towards you. |
|
| Author: | mi1ooo98 [ Thu Dec 01, 2011 8:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The only way your value lowers is if you let it lower you, if you go unaffected, and not give a shit, you'll come across this way, and people around you will see that, and as a result will realize your value isn't lowered at all. I think that you can actually use to to your advantage to show that you're stable and don't give a fuck. |
|
| Author: | Century100 [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
mi1ooo98, thanks heaps. I guess that's true actually |
|
| Author: | Ruggedized [ Fri Dec 02, 2011 5:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I just answered another post similar to this, but I'll tell the story again here. When I was in High school(before PUA community), I was talking with a girl after class. One of the bigger guys on the football team jumped in the conversation and said, "You don't wanna give this guy a chance! I've seen him in the shower. He's got the smallest little dick!" She got all embarrassed and he started laughing. I said, "I know dude! It's like an inch long. But I do have gerth." THen I looked up thoughfully and said, "I'm kind of like a cheese wheel." Here's the important thing. You have to beat him at his own game. If he's doggin you, you have to do it better than him, jokingly. This reiterates what the others have been saying about not giving a fuck. This approach is more proactive, though. If he's giving you hell about being too excited, amp it up a little bit and say something funny and get the girls on your energy level. He'll get left in the dust. -Ruggedized |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|