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Complex Problem
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Author:  Snarg [ Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:06 am ]
Post subject:  Complex Problem

A brief introduction: I am a 22 year old graduate student. At school, I actively associate mainly with 3 girls in particular. Let's make up names for them to make things easier: Alex, Kim, and Apple.

My one-itis is Alex. Kim has a "crush" on me. Apple is strictly a friend, but is trying to help Kim win me over. No one knows Alex is my one-itis.

Then, there's Dick. He is also pursuing Alex. It's safe to say we are both afforded the same level of interaction with her, whether it be through school-related interaction or text messaging. It should also be noted that Alex is a little more on the shy, conservative side, so it takes a little while to build rapport with her. With that said, she is also less prone to going out and partying and getting drunk. That's not really my style either, but Dick is definitely into that kind of thing. I should also note that I am about 6 inches taller than Dick, and a hell of a lot more funny. Looks aren't really relevant, we're both good enough looking guys to where we could probably be considered equals in that regard.

In the beginning, Alex definitely favored Dick. She turned me down twice to go out for some dinner, and a few weeks later she ended up going to a party at Dick's place. Since then, I started bringing a great deal of my cocky-funny attitude to the table, and she has responded very well to it. I've completely outshined him since then, and she has gotten a little more flirty with me and seems to text me more often for stupid shit related to school that she clearly already knows the answer to. She also seems to be less interested in him, which I'm told is because he is obnoxious as fuck when he drinks so that was probably a bit of a turn-off when she saw him at the party.

So, fast forward a bit to a few weeks later. I've been slowly trying to build more rapport with her and try to flirt a little. She acts a little more clingy sometimes via text messaging (where she's the least shy, obviously).

The three girls I mentioned, along with Dick and a few other unimportant people are going on a little end-of-semester trip once school is out. It will be for 2 nights, and we'll pretty much just eat, drink, and do stupid shit the entire time. Kim and Apple (who, once again, don't know I like Alex at all) keep telling me how they plan to hook Dick and Alex up over the trip. This is a slight problem to me, because obviously it's just one more thing against Alex and I that will only hurt me in the long run.

A side note: I've been using Kim as a way to make Alex jealous. I often mention Kim and talk about how she's always texting me all the time and telling her stories about her. I always make sure to indirectly let Alex know that I still like her a little by flirting with her lightly, but obviously I don't want to blow my cover either. The best example is as follows, via text messaging:

(Preface: Kim called me when she was drunk, told me she wants to fuck me, and can't wait for our trip where she will have her way with me. I started texting Alex after this.)

Me: So apparently Kim decided to call me drunkenly and act ridiculous.

Alex: Haha really!? What did she say? That's too funny.

Me: I shouldn't really repeat it since she was drunk and I don't want to embarass her. But I will say our little trip just got a lot more interesting, haha.

Her: Oh come on, you can't say that and not tell me. Why is it going to be interesting?

Me: Hmm, so, I might skip class tomorrow. Not worth going at all, you know?

Her: Tell me!

Me: Can I get your blessing on skipping please?

Her: No you can't do that. You have to come. You're not going to tell me why our trip is going to be interesting?

Me: Why can't I skip class?

Her: You have to go. I have to, so you need to also.

She dropped it at this point. Fun, irrelevant fact: I skipped anyway. Fuck that, you know?

So at this point, I'm in a dilemma. I have a few options I can take, maybe more if you guys can think of any.

a) Get over my one-itis and let Dick take her. Fuck Kim multiple times even though she isn't that good looking, maybe HB5 or 6.

b) Tell Kim and Apple to fuck off with their attempts to get Dick and Alex together. I will lose my ability to use Kim as a way of making Alex jealous, however. I will also lose the ability to fuck Kim.

c) Tell Alex things are REALLY going to be interesting now (as an extension of the conversation I transcribed above). Let her know about Kim and Apple's plans to hook her up with Dick, and gauge her reaction to see if she is still invested in Dick or not. This would produce immediate results for me, which is a perk, but I'm not sure if there's a sneakier, more effective way of handling this.

d) Ignore this situation entirely, go on the trip, let those two girls try all they want to hook Alex and Dick up, and just hope I can weather the storm and come out on top. This is obviously the best way to go, but I can't be 100% certain I will be successful.

So, what should I do? Do you have any suggestions I didn't list here? I'm sorry about the long message, and if you've gotten this far I salute you for reading so much of my bullshit. I'm anxious to hear what some of you have to say.

Author:  Vassion [ Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:33 am ]
Post subject: 

D, i choose you!

i have to say, man you're smooth.

ignore it, they can try all them want. when their first attempt to hook them up fail, which im sure it will, go talk to alex. tell him how great dick is and she will relate them to you. it abit like a bf destroyer pattern but it can be used here as well.

good luck bro 8)

Author:  DJ_Z [ Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:46 am ]
Post subject: 

E: Find new girls

There are a few issues, mistakes in all honesty, I see with how you approached it that aren't all that different than how I used to approach these situations.

1. You weren't honest with Kim and Apple. You could have avoided a lot of bullshit by just telling her you weren't interested in her in that way. Eventually she will come to this realization, and it won't be fun regardless of when it occurs or how.

2. You took way too long. The longer you take, the worse things get. You should have immediately gamed, Alex, not given two shits about any other guy in the picture, and tried to reach whatever goal you want with her asap.

3. You are going for your oneitis. Oneitis is bad, in case that wasn't clear. Most situations like this are best dealt wtih by the advice I will give you after this final point. A oneitis, by definition, is an obsession with one girl and an unwillingness to move on.

So here's what you do:

GAME OTHER GIRLS!

You are going on a trip where you have the opportunity to meet new people, including girls, and go for them instead. You aren't attracted to Kim, so don't let social pressure force you to fuck her. You refuse to be direct with Alex and instead try to play stupid games, and it's just not worth the effort. So why not just put all of this stupid drama aside and find some new women? Yeah, it sounds like your "D," but I refuse to put that in as you call it "weathering the storm." You fucking pussy, it's not a storm, it's your refusal to just escalate to fuck Alex, your refusal to tell Kim you aren't interested, and your refusal to ask Apple to get the hell outta your business by trying to set you up with somebody you aren't interested in.

Author:  Snarg [ Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:52 am ]
Post subject: 

Appreciate the responses.

DJ_Z: I think you misinterpreted (or I didn't give enough information about) a few things.

1) There's no reason to be honest. They haven't come out directly and told me those are their intentions. It's just blatantly obvious to me, even if it's not to others. What do you mean it "won't be fun"? It's not like I did anything to her.

2) I approached immediately, but ended up failing. I decided to build more rapport and try again later. The time is now. The other guy was a nonfactor. He's a hindrance, but like I've said, nothing that has caused me to run away or anything.

3) Maybe I overexaggerated it by calling her my oneitis. I'm not deeply invested in her, but I'm stubborn in that she's the one I want. I do have a willingness to move on if need be, and I guess I wouldn't really call it an obsession.

Thanks for the response all the same. I can definitely see where you're coming from.

Author:  DJ_Z [ Wed Nov 23, 2011 4:36 am ]
Post subject: 

Here's why it is oneitis: You are arguing advice about gaming other girls.

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