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The methods
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Author:  Ezo [ Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:  The methods

By nerds for nerds.

By people with issues, for people with issues.

That is the way you need to think when you are browsing through the PUA jungle.

There is NO absolute method that is compatible with everybody, some methods fit you better and some dont fit at all, it depends on your strengths and weaknesses.

Let me explain.

The "gurus" are people too. They have worked their asses off to bring you new PU knowledge.. Or have they? Worked hard, yes, for you, no. These guys have worked with their own problems. They have worked for themselves, that is why each and every guru have different views on things.

We all have our unique skillsets and mentalities that we use without thinking of them. That reflects in their methods. Often without them knowing it themselves.

Lets take an easy example, Mystery (love the man). What springs to mind is his peacocking theory. Now look at Mystery and listen to what he says... after a while you start seeing a picture, he really really likes dressing up, in dark exclusive clothes which have a gothic touch. He is into that. No wonder that would get incorporated into his game. It comes naturally to him. Also, he has an approach anxiety problem so he has made techniques for opening and overriding AA.

Myself, I have no AA. If I was to construct a method here and now, I would omit that part. Simply because I wouldnt even know that it could be a problem. Our strengths hides things that could be a problem for others.

So basically, there is no right or wrong method. Some people are naturally drawn to direct game because it lies in line with their strengths and above all, is not based on their weaknesses. Others feel the same way for indirect game.

Same for DHVing. Obviously Mystery is a showbiz guy, his strength is talking and thinking fast, therefore he bases his game on stories. For the ones who have a problem in doing that, it feels awkward and they would rather demonstrate their coolness in some other way.

For direct or natural game, if you are naturally confident, that will work well for you. If you are not, then you will have a harder time getting good at it. Now again, nothing is wrong with whatever you choose, it is up to you. Probably others will tell you what they think is best with each method and the reasons why but they will also base their judgement on themselves and that may not apply to your reality.

The gurus were people with issues, and they made their methods for people with similar issues. Look at yourself and try to figure out what your problem is and do one of two things. 1. Select a guru who is similar to you, or 2. select a guru who is your opposite. 1. will be easier and you will get better faster but you will not train your weaknesses or hone your natural talents as much. 2. will be harder initially but you will get a lot out if it in the long run.

The modern PUAs worst enemy is his own arrogance. We try to define ourselves based on the method we adhere to. It is like supporting a footballteam, we against the others. Good vs evil. Black and white. We start bashing gurus and methods and do so in the name of whoever we like for the moment, until we find something better. We kick the ones below us (the ones who are not yet good at this) and kiss the ass of the ones above us. Not cool.

I would also like to adress the matter of progression. As we progress we train our skills and our virtues. The better we get, the closer we come to what people call natural game. Or so we think. Until we start thinking. The stage where this realization comes is a stage I use to call improvised game. We think that we say just whatever we like and we see it as being ourselves, just a better version of ourselves. But that is not entirely true. We are still using techniques from earlier methods, just made up on the spot without us even knowing. We have got so used to it that we dont even think about that we are doing it. Which of course make us feel even more confident and we risk getting even more arrogant.

So when a newbie asks us what method to choose, we just tell him our current favorite. Based on where we are at the moment. What level of game we have and our previous experience. We risk telling a newbie to chose some method he isnt ready for.When he tells us that he lacks the confidence, we just tell him to use affirmations and believe that he is good. Which makes him last for a few weeks and then leave the PUA scene forever. He just didnt learn the basic stuff because we rushed him based on our own preferences and skills.

So to all of you who already have a method. Consider the other methods as well and chose one that improves other skills that you dont have and dont train in your current method.

Try it, it will be worth your while.

Ezo

Author:  JSmooth [ Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

Excellent Post!

I especially love those that bash M3 model for example but they are still using DHVs, and working the basics of the model for the most part of their game. There is a lot to be taken away from each person out there. I can just about garauntee you we could all learn something from each other regardless of what level you are at.

Just to add quick tangent there are a lot of pro's to a structured game. Mainly that if you are learning it or teaching it; it helps the student identify where he's at in the process of getting the girl and easier to troubleshoot issues.

Author:  Don Draper [ Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The methods

Big props on writing this post, man.

Newbies, would greatly benefit if they paid special attention to the following part..
Quote:
The modern PUAs worst enemy is his own arrogance. We try to define ourselves based on the method we adhere to. It is like supporting a footballteam, we against the others. Good vs evil. Black and white. We start bashing gurus and methods and do so in the name of whoever we like for the moment, until we find something better. We kick the ones below us (the ones who are not yet good at this) and kiss the ass of the ones above us. Not cool.
And yes, I am talking about you "Mystery Haters", just how many of your "gurus" use his terminology and concepts, you will be surprised.

Just because a guy likes to be a bit flamboyant with his sense of dressing and style, does not make him an idiot.

A very, very important rule in life is...

Give respect, where respect is due.

Don't go off on tangents ranting about why MM sucks and why NLP rocks without realizing the core concepts in work behind these methods and judging them on the basis of the guy who's founded them (who did it for himself, not you, mind you) is the wrong approach to things.

Cheers to my favourite minou, Ezo! Excellent post! :wink:

Author:  pumpington [ Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

ummm, ezo, why are so damn dead on the money?

this is the real

Author:  tippicanoe [ Sat Nov 19, 2011 12:49 am ]
Post subject: 

Everyone should read this. Great post.

Author:  DJ_Z [ Sat Nov 19, 2011 1:09 am ]
Post subject: 

Hell, even before I knew what I was doing, I always said I wanted to adapt game to me, not the other way around. Good post, Ezo

Author:  J Slay [ Sat Nov 19, 2011 1:10 am ]
Post subject: 

this is a goddamn excellent post!

Ill drink one to that.

Cheers!

J Slay

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