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Why the hell am I getting sick of her? Am I unreasonable?
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Author:  Century100 [ Fri Nov 18, 2011 4:46 am ]
Post subject:  Why the hell am I getting sick of her? Am I unreasonable?
I've been with my girlfriend for a mere 3 months. Things were absolutely fantastic.
Suddenly she started getting really stressed out with life things, and I was there with her the whole way.

Up until last week I was so happy to be there for her.
But then I got a text saying "Hey, can you call me later? I really need to talk to somebody" - and I realised
"HOLD up...she needs me...yet she insists I call her every time?"
Anyway that was a minor slight, I felt a tiny bit annoyed that she expected me to call her for her issue, but it didn't bother me so much.

Until I finally did call her, and she's with this guy friend she has laughing on the phone. "Oh don't worry, everythings fine now but thanks for your call!"
The phone conversation was basically about her telling me about her day, not asking about MY day or what I've been up to, and simultaneously telling her guy friend to stop making funny faces.

Now, this guy is not a threat. He is way overweight, bad looking, and sucks up to her and visits her every time she's down. She refers to him as a "brother". He is the closest thing she has to a brother, she has told me. That's not the issue.

The fact is - her behavior seemed incredibly rude to me. I've spent my precious time while hanging out with mates to call her and assist her, to find out that she doesn't need me to help her and she wasn't even giving me her full attention. Whether she was with a female friend or this guy would not have made a difference to me.

Finally, she is making some poor decisions. She has recently moved out of home at turning 18 years of age (same age as me by the way). She can't cook, so I asked her "How did you guys go for dinner?" because I know that dinner is a challenge for her considering she's learning to be independent. She replied (this was late in the night)
"I haven't had dinner, just ate some chocolate before and we made jelly"
And I was thinking what the FUCK?

I don't know why. But for some reason her lack of care is really bothering me. She's not a child. Who the fuck thinks 'Oh, it's okay. We will just buy lollies for dinner" at that age. Seriously.

This chain of events made me somehow, in the period of like 4 days, a little fed up, a little less interested, and now I'm doubting whether I want to keep her at all.

Is the issue within me? Or do you see where I'm coming from?
Thankyou.
Author:  VietnameseProdigy [ Sat Nov 19, 2011 12:01 am ]
Post subject: 
I see where you're coming from. And there is also an issue with you, though not a major one.

Speaking from your perspective I know what it's like to be in a relationship where it feels like you're putting in all the work and she acts like she doesn't care. I handled my situation wrongly by talking about how I am more serious than she was. And she kept saying how she was more serious than I was... back and forth bicker.

What I learned was that you need to mirror her interest level so there is an equal balance amongst you, and none of you will feel oppressed by care and 'love'.

Also analyzing the whole situation, if a chick texted me and told me to call her, I will not call her. Period. Next time you text back and say if you want to talk, you can call me. You're giving her validation and you're also seeking her approval by trying to abide to all her demands.

I've been with a couple of girls that are exactly like the one you're describing. It's not that they don't care, they do. If they didn't care, they would have ended the relationship.

Believe me

They just have a hard time trying to show that they care, and that's their issue, not yours.


As for your issue, you need to be the man and get your priorities in check. Your life is first, then your family, then your best friends, then her. Don't squander to all her demands, and don't tolerate any actions from her that you feel is unjustified. You put too much care into this girl, but she does not mirror that level of care back.
Author:  Century100 [ Sat Nov 19, 2011 3:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks so much for that response man

I saw her today and the first thing she did was apologise, without me even saying anything.
She was like "I'm really sorry. I know i've been a bitch the past few days blah blah blah"

The best part is that she admitted to being a bitch on purpose because she thought it would make me miss her more etc if she tried to make me jealous. I felt that was very big of her. She actually felt like SHE had fucked things up, which showed me that yes, she does care a lot :)

Still though, your advice is perfect. I'll take that onboard for every relationship I ever have.
Author:  jabba222 [ Sat Nov 19, 2011 6:31 am ]
Post subject: 
show her the right way!
Author:  br0ker [ Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, a lesson to everyone in relationships dilemma from me:

I`ve been in relationships all my life. The last one has been great, everything I need in that girl besides that she`s put on weight over the last 3 years. And she isn`t as eager in bed as I`d like her to be.

Once you turn 29 and the fear of 30 suddenly hits you, you really regret you didn`t have more fun and have sex with more women. I usually found a niner that I liked a lot and stuck to it.

On ta side note, I have friends that have been practicing love without a glove for 14 years, and most of them have had bad STD`s. Warts, herpes, clamydia (not bad though). At least I dodged that bullet.

PUA`s really should wear protection, if not you`ll be having some kid you don`t want or some STD you REALLY don`t want :)

Bottom line is: have fun while you`re young, when you`re almost 30 all the good ones are taken and you need to push the age barrier. Not always cool hitting on 20 year olds when you`re almost 30.
Author:  Dunnigann [ Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

Once you turn 29 and the fear of 30 suddenly hits you, you really regret you didn`t have more fun and have sex with more women.
I'm not sure of how old you are, but let me tell you when I turned 30 that's when I just started getting good with girls. Not just women my own age but women much younger, 21,22,23. Women like older men, but you need an extreme amount of confidence when you're in your 30's, if you have it you can do really well.
Author:  Ezo [ Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, her way of doing things may not be the best way but it is her way.

I can see that you have a problem with her and feel as if she sucks out your energy like some emotional vampire. The thing is, you need to make a decision. Is it still worth being with her if she annoys you so much?

Frankly I think you are overreacting, having chocolate for dinner is not good but even I do that sometimes.

But it is up to you, are you better off with or without her?
Author:  Shyler [ Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I see where you're coming from. And there is also an issue with you, though not a major one.

Speaking from your perspective I know what it's like to be in a relationship where it feels like you're putting in all the work and she acts like she doesn't care. I handled my situation wrongly by talking about how I am more serious than she was. And she kept saying how she was more serious than I was... back and forth bicker.

What I learned was that you need to mirror her interest level so there is an equal balance amongst you, and none of you will feel oppressed by care and 'love'.

Also analyzing the whole situation, if a chick texted me and told me to call her, I will not call her. Period. Next time you text back and say if you want to talk, you can call me. You're giving her validation and you're also seeking her approval by trying to abide to all her demands.

I've been with a couple of girls that are exactly like the one you're describing. It's not that they don't care, they do. If they didn't care, they would have ended the relationship.

Believe me

They just have a hard time trying to show that they care, and that's their issue, not yours.


As for your issue, you need to be the man and get your priorities in check. Your life is first, then your family, then your best friends, then her. Don't squander to all her demands, and don't tolerate any actions from her that you feel is unjustified. You put too much care into this girl, but she does not mirror that level of care back.
This is some great advice!
Author:  Century100 [ Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah guys I'd like to second that again, every response is helpful here so well done
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