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Newbie Mission Questions
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Author:  bp029 [ Mon Nov 14, 2011 7:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Newbie Mission Questions
I've sort of done the Newbie Mission- but some would say I cheated. I did it on a few hiking trails. The thing is when you're out hiking almost everyone automatically smiles and says hi to each other. Conversations come naturally too so it is extremely easy in that environment. Effortless and hardly feels like a step out of the comfort zone at all.

Now where I live in the city it's rare during the day to catch eye contact. Maybe sometimes you see people looking away quickly when you look at them but holding eye contact with a smile rarely occurs outside of bars and clubs.

Are we supposed to say 'hi' to people who are walking towards us, or standing next to us and are paying absolutely no attention to us? That just seems kind of awkward... Should we target everyone or just women?
Author:  Envying [ Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Target everyone at first. Once you master simple conversation with everybody, then conversation with women will come easy.

Don't use the "small town" thing as an excuse, ever. If you live near a big town, where you will be more anonymous, then go for it. Find a mall, or walk around downtown and just talk to people. If you think saying "Hi" to a stranger is awkward... fuck it. They will never see you again in your life. They might give you an angry stare, or you might make their day.

Go for it.

The whole point of the Newbie Mission is to get you out there, and get you accustomed to talking to people. If you use excuses like "it will be awkward" or "I live in a small town" then it will never work for you.

In order to succeed, you have to try.
Author:  bp029 [ Tue Nov 15, 2011 2:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Target everyone at first. Once you master simple conversation with everybody, then conversation with women will come easy.

Don't use the "small town" thing as an excuse, ever. If you live near a big town, where you will be more anonymous, then go for it. Find a mall, or walk around downtown and just talk to people. If you think saying "Hi" to a stranger is awkward... fuck it. They will never see you again in your life. They might give you an angry stare, or you might make their day.

Go for it.

The whole point of the Newbie Mission is to get you out there, and get you accustomed to talking to people. If you use excuses like "it will be awkward" or "I live in a small town" then it will never work for you.

In order to succeed, you have to try.
Thanks for the advice!

Awkward is my only excuse since I live in a major city. I could go out every night of the year and see different people every time easily :). I'm determined to make this work. I need to change around my unhealthy mindset!
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Tue Nov 15, 2011 3:27 am ]
Post subject: 
The hardest moment is saying "Hi" and introducing yourself with no idea of where the conversation will lead. You HAVE to have no idea. If you take a second to plan out what to say, that second turns into a minute and that minute costs your opportunity. If you have a memorized opener, great, but I guarantee that "Hi, I'm ____" will probably take you to the same place in the conversation.

Just take the plunge! The first minute or more of every stranger you open will be awkward. Learn to love the awkwardness.

You'll have a moment where you see a girl and your mind goes "I could open her!" then immediately "Wait, but..." CUT IT OFF THERE. Go open!
Author:  bp029 [ Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:25 am ]
Post subject: 
I think comfort zone should be renamed 'comfort prison' :). That is what it is like for a lot of us shy people on this board. Newbie mission has NOT gone well so far after 3 days of trying to psych myself up. Say hi to everyone you pass? How about one person???

I come across people all day long and so far have been unable to open any of them... This is REALLY hard.
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