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How To Deal With A Girl Who Might Want To Make Me Jealous?
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Author:  tedwood [ Sat Nov 12, 2011 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  How To Deal With A Girl Who Might Want To Make Me Jealous?
Nowadays I don't really stress about the future. Unfortunately it hasn't been like that for the past few days. I found out that a girl that I've dated and who I used to really like is going to the same party I'm going to on Friday. This one girl I had to end it with not because things were going well but because she had a boyfriend in another country. This meant I had to softly next her.

Unfortunately she can be a bit manipulative and has been known to flirt with my friend when she's not getting attention from me. The worst part is that my friend is actually good with women as well. I think my friend might also like her a bit and this worries me. I can imagine the party turning into a jealousy contest of who can make the other the most jealous because she knows she has no chance of getting back with me.

I'm thinking of telling my friend to tell her to go away if she starts being manipulative but I still need more than that. I don't want to compete with a women on being manipulative, that's an uphill task from the start.

How can I prevent a jealousy contest and stop my friend aiding her advances?

Any help would be great. Been stressing for the past few days now. :|
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Nov 12, 2011 3:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
why do you care? , you have no tie to her, what does it matter who she sleeps with, she does not belong to you, nor does your friend
Author:  tedwood [ Sat Nov 12, 2011 5:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's true that I don't have a tie to her anymore. I do still like her though.
Would you not find it disrespectful if a friend slept with a girl who you still liked?
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Nov 12, 2011 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It's true that I don't have a tie to her anymore. I do still like her though.
Would you not find it disrespectful if a friend slept with a girl who you still liked?
it has happened before to me twice and the first time I felt jealous, and they started seeing each other, but I just realized they hold no weight over me, and It is easier to just let go of the emotional baggage and stop worrying about things that have nothing to do with me
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Sat Nov 12, 2011 6:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tell your friend the truth, if he trully is your friend he will understand.And leave your girl. No friend of mine will do that, or they will regret it.

And Ignore her manipulative plots, she is trying to get a emotional response out of you by trying to make you jealousy, if you ignore that efforts. You already have won. She accomplished nothing.
Author:  EddieFews [ Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well you need to first realize is the only thing you can prevent is the things you do..You cannot control anyone..

Are you going to this party to have a good time or are you going because she's going to be there?

If you're going for a good time, why would you care what she and you're friend are doing. They can go to the bathroom and have sex if they want and you shouldn't even notice that they're gone. Go to the party to have a good time, meet new women and enjoy yourself.
Author:  da_roadrunner [ Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Jealousy sucks. You need to figure out how to get rid of any feeling of jealousy in your life. I've had girls that were into me sleep with other guys because they wanted to make me feel jealous. They just ended up getting more pissed off because I didn't really care.

This may be a good time to practice not being jealous. Every time you feel that emotion come up, catch yourself, and tell yourself that you're better than this, and she really isn't worth it.

It still happens from me time to time. About a month ago I was out dancing with a girl that I really liked, and she was a very popular girl. As I watched her talk to ever guy, and dance with half of them, I felt that old emotion come up. About 30 seconds in I took a mental step back and thought the situation through. I knew she was into me, and if she wanted any of these other guys, then she just proved that she wasn't worth being with me. If that happened it would save me a ton of time and energy. All of a sudden the jealousy was gone.

Work on it. It's a skill that will help you the rest of your life, and will free you from being a slave to a pretty nasty emotion.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Sun Nov 13, 2011 1:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Jealousy sucks. You need to figure out how to get rid of any feeling of jealousy in your life. I've had girls that were into me sleep with other guys because they wanted to make me feel jealous. They just ended up getting more pissed off because I didn't really care.

This may be a good time to practice not being jealous. Every time you feel that emotion come up, catch yourself, and tell yourself that you're better than this, and she really isn't worth it.

It still happens from me time to time. About a month ago I was out dancing with a girl that I really liked, and she was a very popular girl. As I watched her talk to ever guy, and dance with half of them, I felt that old emotion come up. About 30 seconds in I took a mental step back and thought the situation through. I knew she was into me, and if she wanted any of these other guys, then she just proved that she wasn't worth being with me. If that happened it would save me a ton of time and energy. All of a sudden the jealousy was gone.

Work on it. It's a skill that will help you the rest of your life, and will free you from being a slave to a pretty nasty emotion.
this is solid advice.

i have made huge improvements on cutting jealousy out of my life.

it's one of those things that - like you said - you have to "fake it" until you "make it".

which means that you have to practice not being jealous in order to actually make that internal change and the feeling will eventually start to decrease and leave.

to be honest, i have had to remove both jealousy and any sense of commitment simultaneously.
Author:  tedwood [ Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Okay so the overall census of advice here is that I shouldn't worry about the outcome because I cannot control other people. I suppose i'm not dating her anymore and she has no emotional tie to me. If my friend was to get with her I would find it a tad bit disrespectful BUT it was his choice and I wouldn't feel and emotion what so ever. Jealousy is something that I definitely want to cut out of my system. I'll start working on it this week. :D
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