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friends with benefits
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Author:  lukeyx [ Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:49 pm ]
Post subject:  friends with benefits
i need some sort of guide for this...

A HB recently asked me to become FWB with her, it was mostly to get over her LTR she had with her ex.

Ive had sex with her and what not, but nothing seems right, i feel like nothing is currently correct. She gives me shit that i don't want to hear, such as what her ex has done and emotional crap.

I wan't to know the difference between normal game and game when your FWB, i feel like i can't do some things like i do when i game normally. Also, how often should i see her? shall i actually be her close friend and be there for her or just be there for the lay? Because i feel she is getting more attached to me as well when we talk.
Author:  bansario [ Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: friends with benefits
Quote:
i need some sort of guide for this...

A HB recently asked me to become FWB with her, it was mostly to get over her LTR she had with her ex.

Ive had sex with her and what not, but nothing seems right, i feel like nothing is currently correct. She gives me shit that i don't want to hear, such as what her ex has done and emotional crap.

I wan't to know the difference between normal game and game when your FWB, i feel like i can't do some things like i do when i game normally. Also, how often should i see her? shall i actually be her close friend and be there for her or just be there for the lay? Because i feel she is getting more attached to me as well when we talk.
So you're the rebound, but what are your intentions? Do you want to be in a relationship with her or do you want to keep it just as friends?

The interaction might not be right because she still has feelings for the ex, so you're just "the help".

In normal game you don't have to deal with ex's. If a woman starts talking about other guys you can simply make her stop and it's all good. Friends with benefits is different because many other factors are taken into account (like how long do you know each other for, and all that).

You are in a different category at this point. You are a rebound, so accept it.

You can see her as much as you like, as long as you know how to control your emotions. If you don't want to have a relationship with her, seeing her very often and having sex is not going to help you, especially if you're only seeing her and not other women.

Also, she might be getting attached to you because you are a source of "comfort" for her emotional issues, but the moment the ex comes back (if he does) you'll be out of the pic. Use this as a point of reference to know what exactly your intentions are with this girl.

Hope it helps.
Author:  lukeyx [ Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Do you want to be in a relationship with her or do you want to keep it just as friends?
No intentions for a relationship, just friends with benefits/friends.
Quote:
In normal game you don't have to deal with ex's. If a woman starts talking about other guys you can simply make her stop and it's all good. Friends with benefits is different because many other factors are taken into account (like how long do you know each other for, and all that).

You are in a different category at this point. You are a rebound, so accept it.
This is the problem and it irritates me, do i tell her to shut up? do i be there for her?i dont want her getting attached to me and making it awkward...
Quote:
You can see her as much as you like, as long as you know how to control your emotions. If you don't want to have a relationship with her, seeing her very often and having sex is not going to help you, especially if you're only seeing her and not other women.
i do not intend to have a relationship what so ever, and feelings never come into this, with me anyway, i just want to have fun, feelings are easily controlled.
Quote:
but the moment the ex comes back (if he does) you'll be out of the pic.
He's been back, she got with him again and then split up within a few days to a week or so, i gave her a little speech to motivate her and since then, he's been been begging for her back and she basically said no, but still gets depressed and stuff over it

My intentions are to be friends with benefits but keep it controlled, i just want to tweak my usual game to keep it controlled, what needs to be done to do this?
Author:  Chief [ Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wrote a guide on managing expectations for a FWB relationship here: http://chiefpua.blogspot.com/2011/01/ma ... r-fwb.html

Hope that helps
Author:  lukeyx [ Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I wrote a guide on managing expectations for a FWB relationship here: http://chiefpua.blogspot.com/2011/01/ma ... r-fwb.html

Hope that helps
Just what i was looking for, you the man Chief.
Author:  bansario [ Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
OK, if your feelings are under control and you don't want a relationship good.

Whenever she starts talking about the guy, cut her off. Do not let her get into this kind of topics. You are there to comfort her sexually not emotionally, so have it clear in your mind, and project it (delicately) to her.

You don't want to be a jerk either, but whenever she starts talking about the guy just kill the vibe by saying stuff like "wow, you look so sexy right now...I wanna eat you up" (in a playful way). If she insists in talking about him keep being playful. If she keeps insisting say "is that all you want to talk about? Talking about him is so boring, come on...let's do something fun..."

Basically you don't want to let her depressing emotions be related to you, so don't let them run wild. Be charming, be funny, but cut her off. ;)
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