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Things havent been going well, shuld I still go to her play?
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Author:  guruman [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:36 am ]
Post subject:  Things havent been going well, shuld I still go to her play?
Long story short, I met HB like 6 weeks or so ago.. I ran solid game for a while, took her out one time and had a lot of attraction generated. Afterwards, she seemed off the charts interested and was eating up my game, but for some reason has found an excuse to deny all of my invitations to hang out again. She wanted to text every day, and would always text me first and whatever, down to flirt but never took me up on any offers to spend more time together. I've asked her on probably 5 seperate occasions.

It was really weird to be honest, and she seemed super flakey so I just decided to put her in the friend zone and move on. But she insists that she wants to get to know me, and continues to text me and stuff. I have given up on acting on all her IOIs - I tried more then enough times over the last couple weeks to get to know this chick and have been more then clear about my desire to get to know each other beyond our phones.. She has hit the brakes every time I have tried to take it past texting pretty much.

So I'm over all that.. I've got options. The thing is, when I first met her she told me how she got the lead in this play at her university. Apparently it opens next weekend or something because she has invited me by text and by facebook, and in the past as I was flirting with her and thought she was interested I obviously said id love to go.. But now that she has shown no desire to get to know me past texting and has even turned me down on doing some really fun stuff together and getting to know each other a handfull of times, I dont really feel like I want to go. I almost feel like she doesnt deserve me to be there?

Kinda feels wrong saying that cuz I dont have any problem with this chick, nor do I have a problem with her doing her own thing and not being interested in hanging out with me. But this one's weird cause she acts one way 99% of the time we interact, giving off wicked obvious signals of interest, but when it actually comes down to doing something together she isn't interested. Hell, at this point I guess it just pisses me off that a HB can be no friend to me whatsoever, yet then expect me to turn around and be a friend. I haven't yet decided if I'm gonna go or not. Any advice, men?

Thanks in advance
Author:  detox75 [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Don't go, ignore her, and move on to better prospects
Author:  guruman [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Don't go, ignore her, and move on to better prospects
Wow, a straight ignore huh? Typically I am a man of my word and if I tell someone I will do something I follow through.. Especially if that person specifically makes an effort to hold me to my word when the time comes. That's why I feel the need to go. The alpha in me would like to just ignore her and forget about it because it's obviously going nowhere.. but since I already said I would be there for her, I have a feeling I will either end up going, or meeting my alpha in the middle and not going but telling her exactly why I'm not going.. (because if she wants to be friends/is attracted to me/whatever like she says she is, she has a very shitty way of showing it and I am no longer interested)
Author:  Maccas [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:56 am ]
Post subject: 
I almost feel like she doesnt deserve me to be there?

Well if you 'almost' feel like that, you're right. Learn to back yourself if you ever get to that point and in my opinion she doesn't deserve to have you there, the only thing that'd make me go to it was if I knew that numerous other HBs were going to be attending and wanted me to go there..
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:00 am ]
Post subject: 
*le sigh*
do what you want, but you know you should just ignore

inb4 oneitus, but im in love and she is special and loves me back, but wont meet me
Author:  whitetea [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:24 am ]
Post subject: 
there's no alpha in you if you go.

if she was interested, after so much txting, she would have gone out with you. she's probably just playing. she ain't your best friend so you've got no reason to hold on to something you said.
Author:  guruman [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
*le sigh*
do what you want, but you know you should just ignore

inb4 oneitus, but im in love and she is special and loves me back, but wont meet me
No oneitis here. As I said in the OP I'm completely over this chick and whatever her deal is that makes her so flakey... I meet far too many women to be concerned about that or falling in love with her.. This isn't even really about me and HB, it's more just about me and my own character. Going or not going doesn't have anything to do with still trying to game HB at this point.. It's just not often that I give someone my word that I'll be someplace for them, then just opt out of it altogether. Whether I want to game them or LJBF or whatever, I am a man of my word. Wanted to get some fellow mens insight thats all
Author:  magnum45 [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think it's great you are a man of your word. If you show up will you expect her to react a certain way? Do you expect her to appreciate it if you do show up?

Because if you do go, you are only going to keep your word and nothing more. Then you will leave and nothing will have changed. Don't fool yourself into thinking that by coming to her play she will change her mind about you. It will only put you further into the friend zone.

Next time you invite a girl out and she declines STOP inviting her. Don't continue to push her, it's a huge turn off.
Author:  guruman [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I think it's great you are a man of your word. If you show up will you expect her to react a certain way? Do you expect her to appreciate it if you do show up?
I would certainly expect her to appreciate it if I showed up.. but not in a way thats different than I would expect her to appreciate any of her other friends showing up.
Quote:
Because if you do go, you are only going to keep your word and nothing more. Then you will leave and nothing will have changed. Don't fool yourself into thinking that by coming to her play she will change her mind about you. It will only put you further into the friend zone.
Here's where I'm getting a little confused.. The implication here isn't that I think that if I go, she will change her mind about me. Romantically that is. To re-iterate.. I could care less about whether I'm in her friend zone or not, she's been in mine already for a while and I am no longer pursuing her. The thing is, I want to be friends with her, she's a cool chick and would make a good friend. She still texts me every day and tries to talk, and basically she "talks a big game" about wanting to be friends or whatever, but I'm not interested in a text buddy, and she hasn't made any effort to see me in person. If I considered us friends, I would totally go to her play and support her without thinking twice.. But I guess I just find it hard to consider us friends when she doesn't ever wanna do anything.

Is this the type of thing that I should tell her straight up?
Quote:
Next time you invite a girl out and she declines STOP inviting her. Don't continue to push her, it's a huge turn off.
Yeah for sure, realize though that these ~5 invitations were spread out over 5-6 weeks.. and all the while she was leading on that she really wanted to hang out. I was never needy with this broad whatsoever. But whatever I don't regret it, at least now I can very safely say that I gave her more then enough chances to be a part of my life, romantically or otherwise.
Author:  arishorts [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you have to ask, then you, sir, have answered your very own question. Go with your gut!
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