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| Author: | Min0 [ Thu Oct 13, 2011 10:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | feedback & emotions |
So I was wondering... This is the situation: I met a girl with a boyfriend, we hang out a lot, I fell in between friend zone and something more, I told after a little while her that I like her, she said she likes me a lot only as a friend BUT wanted to kiss me before, interaction continued for while a bit colder and then back to normal, she broke up with the boyfriend, we started hanging out more again, now I told her that I m taking a trip and I need a time off from her because I still like her, she got all upset that she didn't really wanted to hear it now because of all the things which she going through because of the break up. my questions are: what your view on the situation and what should I have\haven't done? what do you think about the negative emotions which she is feeling because of me now? I remember reading that any kind of emotions are good, but haven't really made girls feel bad before... |
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| Author: | charblad [ Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
my view - you kept goin when you shoulda moved on a while ago negative emotions - she broke up with her bf and ur saying "well im leavin you too" either way move on |
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| Author: | snillaheart [ Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
naw man your just doing your own thing, she cant hold your free will against you, its true that its a bad time for you to say this since she just broke up with her bf but its not your responsibility to help her through her emotions youve got your own shit to take care of, just be nice about it, let her know whats happening like you did and keep in touch with each other, she mite be pissed or sad etc. but shes going thru a phase |
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| Author: | natural9 [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: feedback & emotions |
Quote: So I was wondering...
Yea, you were selfish by putting all of that on her. Like you were forcing her to be with you or lose you forever. That's ok when flirting but not ok after an emotional connection has been made. Here is what I would do from here on out, leave her alone for a week. Then send her a casual text to meet for coffee between some of your appointments. Go and have fun with her, if the topic come up then do not apologize. Tell her that's what you felt as a man and you had to tell her. But, pretty much take it slow. And never pressure her like that again. Make it fun pressure, not dbag pressure.
This is the situation: I met a girl with a boyfriend, we hang out a lot, I fell in between friend zone and something more, I told after a little while her that I like her, she said she likes me a lot only as a friend BUT wanted to kiss me before, interaction continued for while a bit colder and then back to normal, she broke up with the boyfriend, we started hanging out more again, now I told her that I m taking a trip and I need a time off from her because I still like her, she got all upset that she didn't really wanted to hear it now because of all the things which she going through because of the break up. my questions are: what your view on the situation and what should I have\haven't done? what do you think about the negative emotions which she is feeling because of me now? I remember reading that any kind of emotions are good, but haven't really made girls feel bad before... |
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| Author: | Min0 [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: my view - you kept goin when you shoulda moved on a while ago
I do agree that I should have moved one, BUT the reason I didn't move one from her (after she said that she sees me as a friend the first time) is her increased interest after I said it and not congruent actions - she was saying that sees my as a friend and at the same time wanting to be all touchy, hugging and non stop keeping eye contact. (about eye contact she doesn't do it with other).negative emotions - she broke up with her bf and ur saying "well im leavin you too" either way move on I bet I am having oneitis on her... Quote:
Yea, you were selfish by putting all of that on her. Like you were forcing her to be with you or lose you forever. That's ok when flirting but not ok after an emotional connection has been made. Here is what I would do from here on out, leave her alone for a week. Then send her a casual text to meet for coffee between some of your appointments. Go and have fun with her, if the topic come up then do not apologize. Tell her that's what you felt as a man and you had to tell her. But, pretty much take it slow. And never pressure her like that again. Make it fun pressure, not dbag pressure.
that's my intention, one week without any contact and then see how it goes, either way after that time its going to be something or nothing, and if nothing I m moving on right away.
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