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| I get bored in conversations https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=116582 |
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| Author: | IamfromBelgium [ Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I get bored in conversations |
Title says it all, I think. But I'll give some more explanation anyway. So in general, I don't really have a problem with talking to people I already know (strangers is a different story though, but I'll fix that after this problem.) But once I'm talking, I just get bored most of the time. Even when I'm talking about a subject I'm really interested in, I still have trouble showing interest into the opinion of someone else... The problem is not as bad as I explained it here, but I don't know how to explain it better. Sometimes I do enjoy a conversation though, but that only happens when I'm talking to really good friends, and even then I don't like it all the time. Does anyone have the same problem, and does anyone know how I can fix it? |
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| Author: | sambotanman [ Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | This is from Mystery Method, hopefully it helps. |
MULTIPLE CONVERSATIONAL THREADS During a conversation, especially between people who are already acquainted with one another, various conversational threads will come up. We might talk about the weather, our families, what we did last night, various philosophical topics or current events, etc. As the conversation progresses, certain threads may be revisited or come up periodically. People who are not as well acquainted, however, often find comfort in a thread that has situational relevance and end up stuck on that one thread until it eventually unravels. Imagine a guy is walking his dog in the park and he meets a woman doing the same. They strike up a conversation: Man: Oh, hello, is that a cocker spaniel? Woman: NO, actually, he's a mutt. I got him from the pound a few years ago. How about yours? Man: She's a black Lab. I suppose they are getting on rather well then, aren't they? Woman: Yes, yes, they are; dogs are funny. Man: So have you had him for long? Woman: Oh, I don't know, about three years. Man: So . . . so what soft of dog food do you feed him? Notice how the man is already grasping for straws? He was successfully interacting with the woman on this dog thread, but he couldn't think of another thread with situational relevance in order to continue the conversation. So he went back to the dog thread again, making it rather obvious that the conversation with the woman was important to him, that he didn't want to "screw this up." This is especially telegraphed by his overuse of questions during conversation as well. People who are well acquainted with one another tend to use multiple conversational threads while talking, whereas people who aren't as well acquainted can get stuck on a single thread* followed by a polite end to the conversation: Man: Do you have the time? Woman: Sure, six thirty. Mail: Thanks. So, Where are you from? if you go further by starting a new thread rather than continuing with a previously opened and paused thread, you telegraph interest and force her to decide prematurely whether or not to bust out her protection shield kung-fu "I have a boyfriend" objection.By introducing multiple conversational threads into your set, you can create a strong feeling of familiarity in the set, as if you are already all old friends. Elvis Gambit "Hey, did you know that Elvis Presley dyed... his hair? What was his original hair color? Guess.... No, dirty blond. Can you picture the King as a Beach Boy blond? He would never have been famous if he didn't go 'bad boy' and dye his hair black. Weird." In the early part of a set, when you haven't yet demonstrated much value, girls won't be eager to contribute much effort to contlnue the interaction. You must be able to contribute 90 percent of the conversation or it will die. Over time, as attraction is created, you can then use this attraction to bait the girl into more participation and investment. But even then you must be leading the interaction and keeping her stimulated. Thus it's extremely important that you be able to talk talk talk. Always have something to talk about. Get into a talkative mood and practice talking to everyone, not just hot girls. Introduce several different routines and jump back and forth between them in a multiple threading fashion instead of running them linearly. Notice how logistical problems seem to disappear when you keep the target's conscious mind occupied with three to five simultaneous conversational threads. You've always got a thread to go back to, whereas your set can sour quickly when there are too many uncomfortable pauses or if it suddenly appears like you are grasping at Straws to keep the interaction alive. CUTTING CONVERSATIONAL THREADS Sometimes a thread is not useful. A girl may start talking about something that makes her feel bored or sad or think about her boyfriend back home, et cetera. For whatever reason, it is more useful to you to end that conversational topic than to continue talking about it. When this happens, simply CUT the thread and stack to the next routine. Her: . . . So every time I hear that song, I think of him. You: Let me see your hands. [Begin the kino (kinesthetic) test.] Just completely cut her thread and replace it with a new thread of your own. Of course this doesn't mean that you need to become Mr. Interrupt, who refuses to address every issue. Just recognize that when it is useful to you, you can cut a thread, introduce a new thread to replace it, and still stay on track. In fact, not only will it work, but also she will find you more attractive as a result, since it demonstrates that you have a Stronger frame, Sometimes it can happen that one of your own threads is not useful anymore, For example, if one of her friends has just joined the set in the middle of your thread, this can be awkward. If you finish the story, the friend will be bored because she has no idea what you're talking about, But if you start over from the beginning, now the target is bored because she has already heard this before, and by the time you get to the end it has become anticlimactic. lb handle this external interrupt, just cut your own thread, disarm the obstacle with a target-bound neg, and introduce a new thread: You: . . . So I'm halfway hack to the house, and there's only three minutes left, and 1 notice the can is starting to leak— [Her friend arrives and the girls immediately face each other and start signaling each other.] You: Introduce me to your friend, that's the polite thing to do. [Brief introductions occur. As you shake her hand, shotgun neg the target one more time to disarm new obstacle.] You: [new thread addressed to the friend] Do you believe in spells? OK, get this. . . . [Spells routine.] Oh, and don't try to go back to your original thread later, unless they press for you to do so. It's try-hard. Often, if you do not lead the conversation by actively cutting bad threads and introducing good threads, you delegate this responsibilityto the girl. She will allow the conversation to get boring and then think that you are a boring guy for allowing it to happen. So do it right and make it happen, because she won't. |
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| Author: | KingBling [ Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
It is a difficult one. The best thing to do would start to collect knowledge in all areas even if it is a small amount. If they are talking about something they know well then just ask them things about what you would want to know about it and put them in mad imaginary situations and ask what would they do. Then you can create a DHV story and say what you did when these things hapened. |
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