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1.5 months into relationship - no sex.
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Author:  easyrider [ Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:32 pm ]
Post subject:  1.5 months into relationship - no sex.
Argh.
This is starting to piss me off.
As the title says: Its been 1.5 months into the relationship and we have yet to do anything! We've decided to be exclusive, got her a birthday gift last week, and I've even gone out for dinners with her family.

Every time I try to escalate, I usually get the hand pull up, or she says she just wants to take it slow and insists its not me. I have spent the night at her house maybe 3-4x and nothing. Just some making out and that's it. I tried LMR and it went no where...she went to bed. I ended up just leaving in the middle of night and drove home (I did however tell her I was leaving, but I think she was half asleep).

Anyways, now she sends me a text message and is upset that I left last night. Saying shes is one of those people that likes having someone to sleep with not always sexually.

What can I do ?
While I do like her, I find it hard to stay interested.
Author:  LocoGooner [ Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
ditch her

serious
Author:  GKS [ Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Bullshit.

Obviously she NEEDS you, but I'm afraid for some other purposes. Clearly, when the girl says "I want to take it slow", it means "I've always been with jerks, I've been hurt, and have lost my trust/faith in this magic feeling called love, and frankly I'm not attracted to you enough to open myself up and trust you."

Now it's up to you whether you want to be a nice gentleman and put up with her bullshit, give her time to reassure her feeling or you can just save you both some time and move on.

I'm curious, why would you agree to be exclusive when you haven't even emotionally or physically connected to each other? For all you know, she could be a dude ! LOL

I follow a simple rule: if she doesn't put out on the 3rd date (5th if i see fit under special circumstance), it just means we're not on the same level of attraction, I will put her into friend zone and start treating her like my buddy if she's a really cool girl, or I just walk away if she has emotional baggages
Author:  bansario [ Tue Sep 27, 2011 10:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

I follow a simple rule: if she doesn't put out on the 3rd date (5th if i see fit under special circumstance), it just means we're not on the same level of attraction, I will put her into friend zone and start treating her like my buddy if she's a really cool girl, or I just walk away if she has emotional baggages
I agree with most of what you said except for putting her into the friend's zone. By doing that, it'll just add more frustration to the guy. He wants to be with her, and since he's getting no tail, he wants to pursue it even more. By telling a guy to be in the friend's zone, you might lead him to become a sucker for her.

In my opinion, there's good pussy, but none of them are made out of gold. If she was mistreated in previous relationships, that's a baggage you may not want to deal with. The trust issues will eventually come up, the crazy demands, and holding up on sex even more.

I'm not going to say "ditch her" but I'd start reconsidering being in this kind of relationship. Oh by the way, she has TOTAL control of the interaction now, which never helps a guy. You tried to be alpha, but it backfired on you (by a shit test), so now, she knows the deal (consciously, or subconsciously).

Good luck, and I hope it helps.
Author:  jpmorganjr [ Tue Sep 27, 2011 10:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Turn her on
Dude. You just need to turn her on more. You're already sleeping in her bed! She feels safe enough to have you there...just need to get her turned on enough to overpower her annoying rationality. She's probably secretly annoyed by it herself!

What specifically are you doing to seduce her?
Author:  skills360 [ Tue Sep 27, 2011 11:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 1.5 months into relationship - no sex.
Quote:
Argh.
This is starting to piss me off.
As the title says: Its been 1.5 months into the relationship and we have yet to do anything! We've decided to be exclusive, got her a birthday gift last week, and I've even gone out for dinners with her family.

Every time I try to escalate, I usually get the hand pull up, or she says she just wants to take it slow and insists its not me. I have spent the night at her house maybe 3-4x and nothing. Just some making out and that's it. I tried LMR and it went no where...she went to bed. I ended up just leaving in the middle of night and drove home (I did however tell her I was leaving, but I think she was half asleep).

Anyways, now she sends me a text message and is upset that I left last night. Saying shes is one of those people that likes having someone to sleep with not always sexually.

What can I do ?
While I do like her, I find it hard to stay interested.


Have an honest talk with her, damm this is the problem with a lot of newbies, when you get put on the boyfriend zone this is what happens, that is why is say first sex, be the guy the girl wants to fuck , no the guy the girls want to date, and if you decide to date work your way backwards to a relationship. Anyways before you dump her use my hell marry, babe lets have an honesty session, i like you, i want to be with you, and i want a futrure with you, but unfortunately, you are not meeting my needs, you have everything i want in a gilr but i do not want to settle for me sex is important, if not the relationship will not work out, but i do not want to be one of those relationships were sex is an issure, HERE IS THE IMPORTANT LINE, THE DIFERENCE WITH A FRIENDSHIP AND A RELATIONSHIP IS INTIMACY... What can i do to make it more COMFORTABLE for you, for us to be intimate, which is beautiful is celebrating us(girl talk)... anyways, use some shit like that, the best way to have sex is to think like a girl, candles, cologne, do not push it, go to the mall and get one of those stupid massagers on the kiosk, and put some music, do not make it look plan, go for the massage, do it right get her wet and do it... Do not do the speach and the massage on the same day, give the speach, do not have sex that day, next time do the massage... If this does not work, keep her around till you substitute her with another girl.
Author:  Glowstick [ Tue Sep 27, 2011 11:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
gotta change your approach, a lot of this advice people are giving is just to move on. Change it up, frame it so you are not the kinda guy that is willing to wait for sex.

In my opinion you must enjoy spending the night with her nonsexually as well, or else why would you subject yourself to that. Your best move is gonna b if you try to escalate and she says no just laugh and smile and say yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa and do it anyway, if she decides she doesnt wanna do anything, just realize that it is her loss not yours and dont spend the night.

this doesnt mean you have to stop talking to her automatically you can give yourself a couple of attempts, but what im trying to hit at is dont reward her with your presence if you are not getting anything from the relationship.
Author:  Baberunner [ Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:26 am ]
Post subject: 
I was in the same situation. 3 months into the relationship I called her out on it and asked why she kept pushing me away. It led into a sobfest with her explaining how she doesn't want a serious relationship and her last boyfriend treated her like shit. She dumped me soon after. I was bummed at first but in hindsight I'm glad she did. She did me a favor by setting me free to go after other chicks.

I'm pretty she sure she knew what I wanted and didn't want to give it up. But the thing is she wanted me to stick around and be her friend. Thanks to PUA I didn't fall for that shit.
Author:  pumpington [ Wed Sep 28, 2011 3:42 am ]
Post subject: 
its been over a month, listen, don't fall for this validation trap she is setting, one time i knew a guy, who went out with a chick for over a year, he was 17, and his girlfriend never put out, he was respectful, and just kept being with her, eventually she broke up with him for my best friend (who is seriously good looking), she had sex with my best friend after 4 days, don't fall for this stupid shit, pin her to a wall, pin both of her hands above her head with 1 hand, keep your tongue in her mouth so she can't talk, rub her from the outside, when she is squirming around, finger fuck the shit out of her, and then pull out your dick when she is enjoying it and get the party started, if she breaks kissing to verbally resist, or physically resists, just handle it like lmr, if it isn't no dont or stop, just agree and continue, if it is no don't or stop or physical resistance, then you need to next this girl, she is just hanging for validation, either that or she is a virgin
Author:  bansario [ Wed Sep 28, 2011 3:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
its been over a month, listen, don't fall for this validation trap she is setting, one time i knew a guy, who went out with a chick for over a year, he was 17, and his girlfriend never put out, he was respectful, and just kept being with her, eventually she broke up with him for my best friend (who is seriously good looking), she had sex with my best friend after 4 days, don't fall for this stupid shit, pin her to a wall, pin both of her hands above her head with 1 hand, keep your tongue in her mouth so she can't talk, rub her from the outside, when she is squirming around, finger fuck the shit out of her, and then pull out your dick when she is enjoying it and get the party started, if she breaks kissing to verbally resist, or physically resists, just handle it like lmr, if it isn't no dont or stop, just agree and continue, if it is no don't or stop or physical resistance, then you need to next this girl, she is just hanging for validation, either that or she is a virgin
Agree to everything except for the idea of not wearing a condom :) lol...but then again...it's a special situation haha
Author:  pumpington [ Wed Sep 28, 2011 3:57 am ]
Post subject: 
also if she breaks down excuses for you, it is most likely her way of avoiding confrontation by saying im not attracted to you enough, but i want to be around you still for the validation of having a boyfriend, the two that i can think of off the top of my head would be:

her:i feel like you just want to use me for sex
you:i do your my girlfriend, what else would i use you for?, i don't need a girlfriend to whipe my bum i can do that for myself, i don't need a girlfriend to change the channel, i have a remote control...

her:well its because i was in this other relationship with this real doucher who came in my mouth all the time, and fucked me in the ass every day etc. blah blah blah

you:yeah, that sounds like what i want, he seems like he had the right idea, so you like being treated like shit and that is the only way you get horny? etc..

just continue with what she was saying and make the excuse seem ridiculous, be more aggressive with trying to get that pussy without being desperate for it, obviously being passive is not working, if she responds poorly to the caveman approach, then NEXT THE SHIT OUT OF THIS GIRL, SOOOO NOT WORTH IT
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