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Should you bring up ex-boyfriends or people HB's are dating?
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Author:  jp23 [ Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:08 am ]
Post subject:  Should you bring up ex-boyfriends or people HB's are dating?
Do you think when in conversation you should bring up a girls ex-boyfriend or dating buddy? Lets say she just broke up with him or they are on a break...or if she is dating someone non-exclusive and you see her with that guy, is it more PUA or AFC to ask "hey, is that your boyfriend" or "guy your dating" or should you never bring it up?

Maybe its a DHV or DLV that you can talk about it?
Author:  Ka [ Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Id say generally no, you should not bring it up. Sometimes it cannot be avoided if it comes up, but i wouldnt mention it.

I just had a 40 min phone convo with a target, after her finding me on myspace (i had a history with her). I know she has a b/f, her profile says so. She has pics with him on it and also does alot of stupid questionairs and answers sometimes in reference to him.

Not once has she mentioned him to me yet. Even though i know about him im not gonna talk about it, and if she does bring him up at any point i have the advantage in that i already knew about him.

However regardless of this the typical thing to do when a girl tells you she has a b/f, regardless of if she does or not, is to respond C & F.

For ex:

target: " I have a bf."

YOU: "Do you always try to set him up with other guys."
or
YOU: "I didnt ask."

Then just go on with another topic as if she hadnt said a word. Most likely if she hasnt mentioned him to you she wants to allow you to feel that she is available. Usually they dont toss out the "I have a bf" line unless you step out of bounds too soon. Dependant on thier actual loyalty to their b/f they might say it just for your edification to see if you care or not, and if you dont then they will go on.

hope this helps
Author:  jp23 [ Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:55 am ]
Post subject: 
thanks for the 2 cents. I've always pushed to leaving it alone and let her deal with any issues on her own. I read pretty deep into the psychological aspect of things sometimes and can never tell if its a good thing or bad thing so your perspective helps out.
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