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am I being creepy, or what am i doing wrong?
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Author:  bartm [ Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  am I being creepy, or what am i doing wrong?
I am very new to dealing with women. I have trouble even saying hi to females. sometimes males too (not in a sexual way, just saying hi is nerve-wrecking for me)
so today I was sitting at this coffee shop working on my laptop when this semi attractive bitch walked in and sat across from me. She was talking on the phone for several minutes, and then when she got off, I said "me and you are probably the only people who dont have iphones"
she did not hear me or chose to ignore me. So I said "hey!" she still didnt hear me so I said louder "HEY!" she looked and I said "your eyes remind me of that actress, whats her name?" she said the name of an actress that i have never heard of, and I said "ya"
so she said "ya, I get that a lot" and then SHE GOT UP AND LEFT! I am not sure if she left the coffee shop or she just left to sit somewhere else.
anyway, I dont know, am i being creepy? maybe i am sounding nervous and they notice?

what do i do to make myself better at this?
Author:  Aegis88 [ Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Heh dont worry, its always hard at the beggining if you arent naturally a very social person. try to evaluate how loud/close you need to get in order for the person you want to hear you and act after that.
Next time position yourself closer to her if its possible, and never think that she didnt listen to you on purpose, the whole purpose of this is to develop a more relaxed attitude in these situations.
And try (as obvious as it may sound) to socialize at any place you find yourself at if its the bus stop, a concert or even an aquarium full of fish
Author:  Defy [ Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am I being creepy, or what am i doing wrong?
Quote:
I am very new to dealing with women. I have trouble even saying hi to females. sometimes males too (not in a sexual way, just saying hi is nerve-wrecking for me)
so today I was sitting at this coffee shop working on my laptop when this semi attractive BITCH walked in and sat across from me. She was talking on the phone for several minutes, and then when she got off, I said "me and you are probably the only people who dont have iphones"
she did not hear me or chose to ignore me. So I said "hey!" she still didnt hear me so I said louder "HEY!" she looked and I said "your eyes remind me of that actress, whats her name?" she said the name of an actress that i have never heard of, and I said "ya"
so she said "ya, I get that a lot" and then SHE GOT UP AND LEFT! I am not sure if she left the coffee shop or she just left to sit somewhere else.
anyway, I dont know, am i being creepy? maybe i am sounding nervous and they notice?

what do i do to make myself better at this?
try to look at this from her angle. she probably cannot have a simple cup of coffee without some guy trying to hit on her. after a while it becomes annoying. she is in no obligation to talk to you. that doesn't make her a bitch.

it is on you to try to start conversation, you did that. there is no magic opener that will open every set. saying anything is enough.

are you being creepy? i don't know. maybe with the way you said it or how you looked. but that doesn't matter. being creepy is far better than not opening.

as 60 says opening isn't a true measurement of how good with women you are. some sets will open, some won't.

just try to stay positive and talk to more girls.

good luck.
Author:  anthonypham [ Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
ok,

your opener was not very original, but that's ok.

When she stood up, you should have said 'I am not done yet!"

I think you were low-energy during this chat. You were not controlling the frame.
Author:  Cointoss [ Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am I being creepy, or what am i doing wrong?
Quote:
what do i do to make myself better at this?
Don't worry. Who cares if she got up and you should care even less about where she went. Your state of mind should be such to automatically place an irrelevant encounter like this out of your conscious thinking by the time you get home so you won't be able to write posts like this. The only way to do that is to have lots of them so their irrelevance (on case-by-case basis, as a total it is relevant of course) becomes apparent.

Also, your lines, change them. There's enough material on this site to not say "ur eyes r puwrty" to random girls ok. So it's probably (I wasn't there) not that you were creepy, it's probably that there simply wasn't a very compelling reason for her to stay and talk to you about how her eyes are so pretty.

Edit: By the way your opening line was much much better than what you went with so you should've stuck with that. Maybe best, if you are frequently not heard, is to first greet and ensure attention before delivery or something. Either way, I personally am not too fond of iPhones (and everything Apple) so props to you, it's actually a good conversation starter tbh.
Author:  bartm [ Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
hi guys,

can u tell me how to make sure i am heard? like imagine she is on the phone, then she hangs up and starts looking at her book. how do i get her attention to tell her we both dont have iphones?
Author:  -enjoi- [ Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
hi guys,

can u tell me how to make sure i am heard? like imagine she is on the phone, then she hangs up and starts looking at her book. how do i get her attention to tell her we both dont have iphones?
I would suggest practicing vocal projection first at home. You want to make sure you're not yelling, just speaking from your diaphragm.

I would first practice my "louder" voice with friends and family you trust. Then ask them if they thought you were being too loud. Once you're comfortable with that then I would move it to sets.

At first it will probably seem a little uncomfortable but soon you'll command attention in an appropriate and non-invasive way.
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Sep 20, 2011 6:39 am ]
Post subject: 
no such damn thing as creepy
creepy = unattractive guy does something indicating interest to a girl with no attraction
sexy = same thing that would be creepy except done by attractive guy

example, guy goes up to girl, talks to her for about 5 min, he is good looking and has attraction, girl is into him, he kino escalates and goes for kiss, and sexually frames very early, to the girl, this is sexy and he is very confident,

now same situation, except ugly fat guy with acne, and his game is not tight, no attraction boreing convo that lasts 5 min, fat guy seeks rapport whole time, girl showing clear disinterest, starts sexually framing, girl showing clear disinterest in his frame, then guy trys to kiss her out of no where she shrivels up and gets away from him

almost same situation just 2nd guy was creepy,

just think of it like this, if a hb2 came up to you, and told you she thought you were hot, and she goes for what she wants, and she wants your dick in her mouth at her house right now,

most likely you would respectfully decline and think ewww no thx, this is the ''creepy'' feeling that girls experience,

now same situation but it is a hb10, you would most likely be like fuck yeah and go get some head, same situation as the ''being creepy mode, with attraction''

you have to stop worrying about creepy, just be sexually open, and touchy with all girls, some will think you're creepy, some will think your sexy, you will have to risk it to improve your game, and practise taking it too far with girls you just met, you will get alot of buyers remorse and blowouts, but you will learn what is socially acceptable, and what makes you look like a giant perv, and trust me, it isn't so bad being a perv, perv's get laid

as for the being ignored, you were either too quiet or she was ignoring you due to external factors, either way open with kino (touch on shoulder) and she will not ignore you guarenteed
Author:  0uch [ Tue Sep 20, 2011 6:45 am ]
Post subject: 
1. Your approach was over from the start. If you have to repeat your opener at a coffee shop, is a bad deal.

2. to get better with women, you need some social skills. Start working on that.

3. Next girl you open, pay more attention to your vocal tonality and body language. This is something you can work on at home. When you sound nervous during opening, you taking value from her. When you sound confident, you giving value. You wanna be a value giver, not taker.
Author:  ProfessorX [ Tue Sep 20, 2011 5:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like you were being obnoxious and she was ignoring you on purpose. If this happens just let it go, not every girl will want to talk, it's ok.
Author:  bansario [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: am I being creepy, or what am i doing wrong?
Quote:
so today I was sitting at this coffee shop working on my laptop when this semi attractive bitch ...
Considering a woman a "bitch" is by itself the wrong attitude when you are starting in this game. Try to be more positive towards women, since they will be the source of pleasure for you.

I'm not trying to be cheesy, or an advocate for women's rights. I just think that the more you respect others, the more others will respect you.

Having the right attitude can make a difference in my opinion.

Oh by the way, sometimes women "pretend" not to hear people. It's not always the case, but you will be surprised with the amount of women who simply filter out whatever men say out there on the streets (defend mechanism at it's best).

Good luck, and I hope I didnt come off as offensive. That wasnt my intention :) .
Author:  Warped Mindless [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Something tells me your not approaching enough! :P

If you was, you wouldn't make such a fuss (its hardly worth a forum post) on a single interaction of this caliber.

Don't sweat all this small stuff man, just go out and meet more women. Your going to creep out a few/piss off a few no matter what, thats just part of the game.
Author:  nixxor [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:38 am ]
Post subject: 
just an advice... don't change your original opener hoping that she is going to respond to a new opener. You opened saying something about Iphone (indirect situational) to after yelling 3 times "hey" to "you look like an actress" (direct / comparison / qualify - showing interest). It's like WOAAA ...

I am just criticizing you not trying to be mean. but for sure... you want to be dominant / confident but always remember where the line is... never be pushy, too needy or desperate. Always think and act like you are doing HER a favor. if she doesn't follow, she is fine. Just smile and lean back
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