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Sweet and nice guy by nature? Road to failure?
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Author:  Sway321 [ Sun Sep 18, 2011 7:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Sweet and nice guy by nature? Road to failure?
Hello folks, I was wondering if I could get any tips on how to get away from this dumb AFC persona that I feel like I have always had since I could remember, that is the "sweet guy" persona. I believe that I'am like this because ever sinse I can remember I've been raised to be a nice kid that is genarly nice to everyone. It's not a bad trait to have but when it comes to having success with women, it's prob one of the worst things you can do, unless your already in a long term relationship, I think? Anyhow I want to change because I spent an awfull amount of time chasing after a girl trying to do the sweetest thigns to her or saying the sweetest things to her, but all this just ended in terrible failure that placed me in a depression and had me feeling like she was the best girl in this whole wide world and no other girl could compare to her. I'am trying to rebuild myself now and become a better man.

What can I do to stop the sweet crap? I'ts my default thing to do with women right now, be nice and sweet. I'am awfull frusted with these actions because women re act nicely to it but not in a sexual manner. Is there any how for a nice or sweet guy when it comes to conquering women?
Author:  drummerboy36 [ Sun Sep 18, 2011 7:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey man, I have to say I feel your pain! I also have too much of a nice nature a lot of the time, but have somehow still had success with a fair few girls over the years.

I think the trick with this is to not reveal this straight away, i think you do have to seem more mysterious at first because the girl doesn't know exactly what kinda guy she is getting! so when in field, don't act as if you are a completely different person. Try to keep some of yourself in your game, and this will filter out the low attention span girls who go for the bad boy types.

I think, like me, you need to go for the smarter girls who are smart enough to appreciate it when a guy treats them well. Just remember its not a completely bad thing! You can really make it work for you in later stages after the initial pick up, as you should be able to make them think you are on the same wavelength and create an emotional connection really easily.

You have to keep in mind that you are a catch! and this will give the confidence you need when you are out and sarging
Author:  DJ_Z [ Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Being nice is fine, being polite is fine, hell even being chivalrous can be fine.

It's being a pussy that will ruin your chances. What do I mean by that? Well for one, you don't consider women to be your betters. They are not goddesses to be worshipped, they are people. When they do good things, they can be commended, but hell don't complement them just for existing. Next, don't try to win a girl over by entertaining or her trying to impress her. Humor's fine, sincerity is great, but what's going to do it for you is the next point. You have to get physical with a girl. "Nice guys" have a bad habit of never wanting to risk a girl thinking he's only interested in sex, or he doesn't want any awkward moment to occur. But if you never lay your hands on a girl, never touch her, never escalate, you'll get burned. It's not about being nice vs mean, sweet vs rude, it's about being bold. You can be nice, and bold.
Author:  Tr@veler [ Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
OK, look. We can talk about all the theory fluff all day. I was in your situation man. I was so nice to this girl, asked her on a date, had a really awkward date, and never saw her again. I was like, what did I do wrong? Bam - came across the community.

1. Read some stuff. I would recommend the age old basics - The Game - good to see what's possible and even gives you quite a bit of theory.
Mystery Method, Double your Dating are good. I personally like Mystery Method (A lot of people fucking hate it.) It's a good stepping stone in my opinion, especially for newbies like you and me.
I read a lot online, too. So read man!

2. Do it. Go out ,find some wingmen, and do what you read. You will fuck up. But everyone does. If you have wingmen who are as motivated as you are they can tell you where you went wrong, and even ask them questions.

The thing is, there is so much advice to give, that we can't really tell you what to do. We can only recommend. And I recommend reading the stuff and doing it.
Author:  ak666 [ Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:22 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm a newbie here so take my advice with a pinch of salt, but I have found that if you play the nice guy card right it drops a lot of a girl's defences. You come up to them, you are cool and confident and they kinda expect some play but you give them a flash of the nice guy and they get disarmed. Then you can play. :)

Like has been said, you don't need to be a wimp for being a nice guy.

Disclaimer: This approach will not work on all women. But before I was married it worked on many of the ones I wanted to get closer to.
Author:  ProfessorX [ Mon Sep 19, 2011 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Being nice all the time is fake and manipulative and she knows it.

Fake because you're not expressing who you really are, you're just acting in ways you think she'll like. You can't trust a nice guy because you never know what he really thinks. A nice guy is weak and will bend to other people to avoid rocking the boat. This is not a trait women want in a man. Why do you do all these nice things for her? You're basically trying to manipulate her into liking you.

Nice is boring, nice is shapeless, nice is dishonest, nice doesn't work. Don't be nice, be real.
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