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Girl does a 180 when I tell her I like her
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Author:  Rodgers56 [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:09 am ]
Post subject:  Girl does a 180 when I tell her I like her

Okay so I asked this question about 2 weeks ago on the forums, and I didn't really get a straightforward answer, so I'll try and be as detailed as I can.

Last semester I met a girl through a mutual friend, and we had sex the first night we met. We went on a couple dates, and had sex like 5 more times. This girl is kinda awkward so I didn't really get that much indication that she liked me when she was sober. When she was drunk she would ask me what I was doing, if I was going out, etc. The last two times we had sex before the semester ended she kissed me goodbye the next morning, which had never happened before.

Over the summer we texted a bit, and she asked me to visit, but I couldn't because of work and other complications. Towards the middle of the summer the texting died out, and It picked up again before school started.

So the first night she comes back to school I tell her if she wants to meet up give me a call/shoot me a text. She comes over to the party I'm at, and before I can say Hi she starts making out with me. We have sex that night, and the next morning she leaves awkwardly.

So I meet her for lunch two days later, and that goes OK I guess. I meet her at the bar that night, and things seem to be going good. As I get ready to take her home, she says "all you do is try and get me to leave with you", and we talked about it for a little bit. I ended up going home with her that night, and the next morning was awkward again.

I find out from a friend that she is really upset the morning after, apparently doesn't know if I like her/doesn't know if she likes me, feels used, confused, etc. So I decide to call her and tell her I like her. She doesn't pick up, so I text her to have her call me the next day. When I finally talk to her, she says "I don't know what I want right now", but before the conversation ends she asks if I'm going to go out that night and says maybe she'll see me. That doesn't really sit right with me, so I had a face to face with her 3 days later, and she says "I'm not really looking for anything", and again asks if I'm going out and says maybe she'll see me. That night I met her and spoke to her for a bit, but nothing came of it really.

So I decided to freeze her out a little bit, I didn't talk to her for about a week and a half, and whenever I saw her out at bars I ignored her. Yesterday I texted her asking if she was going to be at a certain venue where most people go. She didn't respond the whole night, and when I saw her I ignored her. i got a text at like 3am saying that her phone wasn't working so she left it at home, to which I didn't respond. And that's basically an up to date summary.

I basically have 3 theories about where her head is at:
1.) She likes me
2.) She just wants to have sex
3.) She doesn't like me and was being polite

Which one do you guys think it is, and do you think I should just move on? There is a part of me that actually cares about this girl. Once I get her out of her shell she becomes a really cool person, its just rare to get past her guard. And whenever I see her at bars and shit I feel really bad and want to talk to her but I don't want her to think I'm a bitch.

I feel like after telling her I liked her, she sees me as a wuss now, and I thought if I acted detached she'd be interested again, but I can't really tell at this point.

And If I should pursue it, what should I say to get things going again?

Sorry for the wall of text

Author:  charblad [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:17 am ]
Post subject: 

numero 2 would be the winner there my friend. She wanted something with no strings attached and I wouldn't pursue unless you tell her you just wanna go straight to sex no strings again, but your feelings will come up again sooner or later.

Author:  Veracity [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:23 am ]
Post subject: 

She does not know what she wants plain and simple. So you will never know either. Sometimes she will just want to have sex other times she will be upset in the morning because she will feel like she wants more then sex. In other words shes clueless and you should just keep banging her in my opinion.

Author:  stefangreyman [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 6:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl does a 180 when I tell her I like her

Quote:

I basically have 3 theories about where her head is at:
1.) She likes me
2.) She just wants to have sex
3.) She doesn't like me and was being polite
Even with as much information as you have given, it's hard to evaluate shit like this without being able to see the interactions between you and her.

But, if I had to take a wild-ass guess, I'd go for: like a lot of college-age girls in the states she is using alcohol as an excuse to pursue casual sex, something part of her wants, but does not want to be reminded of this when she is sober. This typically lead no place good--though most girls do seem to get over it within a couple of years of graduation.

If you are looking for a GF as opposed to a drinking and fuck buddy, I'd move on. What I suggest you NOT to do is to get into a mentality where you try to "fix" her or remake her as what you want. Life is too short for that.

Author:  Rodgers56 [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 1:31 pm ]
Post subject: 

so when i see her in bars should i talk to her like there is a history between us or should i just run game on her? also whenever i see her out and i make eye contact with her she immediately looks away. is that bad.

Author:  Don Draper [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 2:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well, she's confused as heck, and maybe the people above are right in saying that's she is only interested in doing the vertical tango with you. Or 'was'.

And the breaking of eye contact by looking away? That's a very strong sign she's not interested in looking at you i.e. to do anything with you.

So, my suggestion would be to ignore her, game other girls and if she comes by with an offer of a good time, take her up on it. But do not get attached. She's just another fish in the sea.

And she's not the one worth devoting time and effort to.

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