PUA Forum :: Possible ljbf?

Alright guys I just hope this isn't going to be mission impossible....I have done this before and hell I'll do it again.

Met a girl during college, joked around with here a bit, she play fought me a couple of times now....so I decided it was time to pull the trigger and ask her to go somewhere with me.

First time I ask her to help me pick out a gift for a friend.
She had a family weekend so couldn't.
Asked her a week later, she had plans for that weekend as well, maybe some other time?
Wanted to set up something this time so asked her if she could go on Fridays?
She answered Mondays would be way better for the both of us since we have 2 non-scheduled hours then.

She got her guard way up and was all like, I just came out of a 2,5 year relationship, Im not really doing the whole flirting thing right now yadayadayada, meeting up is cool but how about just a friendly get to getter?
(It's very roughly translated from my native language, but it basically comes down to LJBF). Ofcourse I tried turning the whole thing around on her saying: Geezus, I'm not asking you to marry me, I just want to get to know you. If I like you after that then maybe I'll ask you on a date, or if you are just cool I'll adopt you as my new little sister.

I have 2 questions for you guys.
1) The first one is how should I act on this 'clearly not a date'-date? Should I DHV myself into heaven? Start a lot of kino? Or should I just be passive not giving her any IOI's and waiting for her interest to build? Suggestions please!

2) LJBF seems to be a returning problem for me. I've escaped the LJBF zone once (toke me 6 months and was harder to get out of than Alcatraz) but I clearly want to fix this flaw in my game. How can I avoid this in the future? Again suggestions please!

Cheers, Olivier

Edit: I see her again during college tomorrow, I think I am just going to play it cool and fluff talk a bit. Sounds cool?

Author:	Olivier [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 7:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Possible ljbf?
Alright guys I just hope this isn't going to be mission impossible....I have done this before and hell I'll do it again. Met a girl during college, joked around with here a bit, she play fought me a couple of times now....so I decided it was time to pull the trigger and ask her to go somewhere with me. First time I ask her to help me pick out a gift for a friend. She had a family weekend so couldn't. Asked her a week later, she had plans for that weekend as well, maybe some other time? Wanted to set up something this time so asked her if she could go on Fridays? She answered Mondays would be way better for the both of us since we have 2 non-scheduled hours then. She got her guard way up and was all like, I just came out of a 2,5 year relationship, Im not really doing the whole flirting thing right now yadayadayada, meeting up is cool but how about just a friendly get to getter? (It's very roughly translated from my native language, but it basically comes down to LJBF). Ofcourse I tried turning the whole thing around on her saying: Geezus, I'm not asking you to marry me, I just want to get to know you. If I like you after that then maybe I'll ask you on a date, or if you are just cool I'll adopt you as my new little sister. I have 2 questions for you guys. 1) The first one is how should I act on this 'clearly not a date'-date? Should I DHV myself into heaven? Start a lot of kino? Or should I just be passive not giving her any IOI's and waiting for her interest to build? Suggestions please! 2) LJBF seems to be a returning problem for me. I've escaped the LJBF zone once (toke me 6 months and was harder to get out of than Alcatraz) but I clearly want to fix this flaw in my game. How can I avoid this in the future? Again suggestions please! Cheers, Olivier Edit: I see her again during college tomorrow, I think I am just going to play it cool and fluff talk a bit. Sounds cool?

Author:	TheFreshPrince [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:31 pm ]
Post subject:
Nice response. And good work! It looks like you're doing stuff right. Except, I'm foggy on how long you know the girl before all of this happened. If you knew her for a while, then that's the problem with your LJBFs. Women like to put men in boxes. It's not a control thing to them, it's just easier to deal with. When you first meet a girl, she doesn't know much about you, and you're in that "mysterious stranger" box. But if you hang around long enough (not even being friends, just see her once in a while, pass by her often enough), then in her mind, you've become a part of her routine. Which moves you to the "misc. persons" box, or the "friend box". And it's weird that one of their friends would be hitting on them. They don't expect that, the same way you don't expect on of your kid sister's friends to start hitting on you. It's just kind of weird. So first, it's better to get back into that "mysterious stranger" box. Hope that makes sense. As for your date, you secured one? Wasn't sure from the post. If you got a date, then it's a date. Plain and simple. Do as you would do on any other date with any other girl. Don't get confused by the whole "not a date" thing. It is a date. If she brings it up that it's not a date, it's a front. She knows it is, and is probably looking for your specified intent (what do you really want). If you show her intent and she's still not having any of it, and is trying to make you feel like shit for making it into a date, then she's just stringing you along, and is trying to get a free dinner or something like that from you. Not really interested in you to begin with.

Author:	bansario [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Possible ljbf?
Quote: Alright guys I just hope this isn't going to be mission impossible....I have done this before and hell I'll do it again. Met a girl during college, joked around with here a bit, she play fought me a couple of times now....so I decided it was time to pull the trigger and ask her to go somewhere with me. First time I ask her to help me pick out a gift for a friend. She had a family weekend so couldn't. Asked her a week later, she had plans for that weekend as well, maybe some other time? Wanted to set up something this time so asked her if she could go on Fridays? She answered Mondays would be way better for the both of us since we have 2 non-scheduled hours then. She got her guard way up and was all like, I just came out of a 2,5 year relationship, Im not really doing the whole flirting thing right now yadayadayada, meeting up is cool but how about just a friendly get to getter? (It's very roughly translated from my native language, but it basically comes down to LJBF). Ofcourse I tried turning the whole thing around on her saying: Geezus, I'm not asking you to marry me, I just want to get to know you. If I like you after that then maybe I'll ask you on a date, or if you are just cool I'll adopt you as my new little sister. I have 2 questions for you guys. 1) The first one is how should I act on this 'clearly not a date'-date? Should I DHV myself into heaven? Start a lot of kino? Or should I just be passive not giving her any IOI's and waiting for her interest to build? Suggestions please! 2) LJBF seems to be a returning problem for me. I've escaped the LJBF zone once (toke me 6 months and was harder to get out of than Alcatraz) but I clearly want to fix this flaw in my game. How can I avoid this in the future? Again suggestions please! Cheers, Olivier Edit: I see her again during college tomorrow, I think I am just going to play it cool and fluff talk a bit. Sounds cool? Hey Oliver, hope you are doing great. My 2 cents on this matter. To keep things simple, always have this in mind: When women are interested in you, they make things happen. No matter WHAT it is. The fact that she was blowing you off (not literally, unfortunately) means that she has doubts about you, or simply is not interested enough to go out of her way to meet you. A very good rule of thumb I have is that unless she appears to be interested in interacting with me, I don't pull the trigger for dating. You save time, money, and effort doing by doing that. She came back to you saying that she just came out of a relationship, and whatnot. That to me is simply translated in: "I'm not interested enough in you. You are cool, and I have fun with you, but I don't want to date you (or your penis inside of me)" Sorry I'm being so crude, but I think it's better if you get to realize it now that you haven't spent too much effort on her. In terms of getting a lot LJBF, well, that's more related to your approach. Are you coming off as the "good little friend" or are you coming off as "I'm the guy you know is already getting laid". Women pet on the "sweet boys", so try to avoid being one. The question of LJBF and how to avoid it, is more related to your inner game, and would need way much more explanation than this. Tonight, I'll be posting an article on the subject of men trying too hard. I think it's very related to your specific case, so maybe it will help. My blog is here: http://bosproject.com/blog/?tid=pua Good luck champ!

Author:	Olivier [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:09 pm ]
Post subject:
First off, thanks for the response. I don't mind getting blown out, or screwing up, but getting feedback stimulates my learning progress big time:) The boxes thing makes sense, I've had some random thoughts about it myself, but wasn't able to make it into a theory so I had a 'That makes sense' moment. I know the girl for 2,5 weeks now, first week was an intro week for college, which she was in my group. We had some fun bets and private jokes going on between the 2 of us. Asked her to do something with me after that first 1. Which she was cool with, just the time didn't suit her, hence the rescheduling around... Jup it's a date, on Mondays the girl has my fun persona all to herself for 2 hours

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