PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Guys, I hate myself
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=101217		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Tr@veler [ Sat Sep 10, 2011 4:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Guys, I hate myself
So I didn't know where to write this. I thought in the PUA forum because it's geared toward selfdevelopment.

I've been in a depression for the last 3 months. Or so I think. I've been sad a lot. Crying. I went to a therapist, but she didn't think I am in a depression. But I am feeling like shit.

There are days like today where I feel what is it worth living for, and I look into the future and am scared that I won't have success.

There are some things which are triggering this.

Firstly I don't know how to have a proper conversation. I'm shy, yes. I try to act interested in the other person, but am not. Right now I don't give a shot about other people. In this very moment people piss me off.
And you see, I do want a girlfriend, but I don't know how to be interesting or even interested. I've read PUA stuff, but that's all external, what to say etc. But my inner game is like nonexistent. I wouldn't even know what to say if it weren't for routines. Fuck.

Secondly I am happy alone, but also unhappy. Being alone means not having to interact. I don't need to put in any effort into conversation. It's a lot of effort for me and has been as long as I can remember (since I was 5! I'm now 19)
The goal of PUA uplifted me for a while. I was reading all this stuff on how to be social and I'm like yeah, let's do this. Let me become a man. But it's so difficult. It's like, I try out the stuff, but then if it doesn't work, I don't change myself. I don't know how to change. And that's another fear I have. I want to change, but at the same time I'm comfortable with how I am. No effort. I hate this suit and myself. Will I ever change? I've been like this all my life. I try to fake being alpha, but after a while people see I'm not so interesting because I don't talk much as I can't have a conversation, and they realize oh, he's not really that cool of a guy. Ive never been a leader apart from when I direct films. But there I have a purpose and know what I'm doing.
In my social circle I don't even care about the people sometimes. I can't have a conversation anyway.

So I guess I'm fucking depressed. I'm going out sagging tonight. I'm extremely afraid of rejection for some reason and always plaay safe and eject.
Let's see what will happen. If you've read this far I appreciate it. If not, at least worth a try.

I'd ask you for suggestions, but these are just my thoughts and have been for a long time. I'm a nobody. I'd love to be a somebody, but I don't know how to change.

EDIT: Didn't go out, was cancelled. But I was too tired anyway, and too depressed.
Author:  Impetumus [ Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guys, I hate myself
Quote:
So I didn't know where to write this. I thought in the PUA forum because it's geared toward selfdevelopment.

I've been in a depression for the last 3 months. Or so I think. I've been sad a lot. Crying. I went to a therapist, but she didn't think I am in a depression. But I am feeling like shit.

There are days like today where I feel what is it worth living for, and I look into the future and am scared that I won't have success.

There are some things which are triggering this.

Firstly I don't know how to have a proper conversation. I'm shy, yes. I try to act interested in the other person, but am not. Right now I don't give a shot about other people. In this very moment people piss me off.
And you see, I do want a girlfriend, but I don't know how to be interesting or even interested. I've read PUA stuff, but that's all external, what to say etc. But my inner game is like nonexistent. I wouldn't even know what to say if it weren't for routines. Fuck.

Secondly I am happy alone, but also unhappy. Being alone means not having to interact. I don't need to put in any effort into conversation. It's a lot of effort for me and has been as long as I can remember (since I was 5! I'm now 19)
The goal of PUA uplifted me for a while. I was reading all this stuff on how to be social and I'm like yeah, let's do this. Let me become a man. But it's so difficult. It's like, I try out the stuff, but then if it doesn't work, I don't change myself. I don't know how to change. And that's another fear I have. I want to change, but at the same time I'm comfortable with how I am. No effort. I hate this suit and myself. Will I ever change? I've been like this all my life. I try to fake being alpha, but after a while people see I'm not so interesting because I don't talk much as I can't have a conversation, and they realize oh, he's not really that cool of a guy. Ive never been a leader apart from when I direct films. But there I have a purpose and know what I'm doing.
In my social circle I don't even care about the people sometimes. I can't have a conversation anyway.

So I guess I'm fucking depressed. I'm going out sagging tonight. I'm extremely afraid of rejection for some reason and always plaay safe and eject.
Let's see what will happen. If you've read this far I appreciate it. If not, at least worth a try.

I'd ask you for suggestions, but these are just my thoughts and have been for a long time. I'm a nobody. I'd love to be a somebody, but I don't know how to change.




Bro, I feel you. I am right now in your shoes. Everyone around me think of me as a weirdo (I write about it in topic "Indentity issues and HUGE social pressure").
I have a question for you, but first I will give you a thought....

Dostoyevski's philosophy says that people are divided in two groups. There are replicators and motivators.

Replicators are people whos sole purpose is to live and replicate, while motivators are the ones who motivate and inspire the world.

I see PUA's as the motivators. They step out of their comfort zone, they bare through that emotional rollercoaster and they keep on going.

I am a guy who has pretty odd way of dressing (black nails are just tip of the iceberg) and the way I am changing right now resembles the thirteen-year-old-teenager who tries to find himself.
I am in center of attention and it isn't easy. People talk a lot of things behind my back, but I bare it through. Some days I just want to cry my soul out of me, but I am a motivator and since I joined The Game, I knew it won't be easy...


The question that you need to ask yourself is:" Do I want to be replicator, or to go beyond the limits, dream big, endure that f*cking pressure that is HUGE and eventually after a bunch of emotional scars become the motivator. "


Do YOU want to be replicator or motivator. Social robot, or social ruler?

P.S. After you think about it (really, really hard) post your answer...
And bro, good luck. It's cold-hearted out there... :)
Author:  Exiled [ Sat Sep 10, 2011 6:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hi buddy, I'm sure most people within the community will be able to empathize with how you're feeling. I'm pretty sure it's normal to an extent.

Firstly, find the root of your depression. Is it being yourself? Or an external force making you feel this way?

Once you've found the root of the problem the next step is active thought changing. Everytime you catch yourself thinking "Oh woe be me" Think "I'm young and alive, what more could I ask for?" because with those two you've got the building blocks to a great personality.

Your reality is within your own mind.

Good luck tonight man, and always remember. No one's opinion of you matters bar your own. So make your own opinion count!

Regards

Exiled
Author:  anthonypham [ Sat Sep 10, 2011 7:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
There are so many things to discover in life, don't let small things hold you back!

Everyone is struggling through life, but in the end it's all worth it :)
Author:  Khrem [ Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd give you advice, but honestly I don't think I'm qualified to. I have read some eckhart tolle books and I think he has a lot of great ideas for inner game. If I were you, I would definitely give that a shot. "Power of Now", and "A New Earth".
Author:  Tr@veler [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 4:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
So, I'm still depressed. I didn't approach any girls today. Daygame sucks. Gaming sucks right now. I feel like I'm stuck in a hole and can't get out. I hate being scared of talking to people.
Author:  Tr@veler [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 4:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
BTW, thanks for all your suggestions. I feel like I am such a coward, I just wish I had an ounce of self-esteem.
Author:  ph03n1x88 [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Just watch the following videos on youtube:

watch?v=e97VrOhsczI

---> whole video

/watch?v=yuki4cLnn4M

---> whole video, especially from: 4:46

Conclusion:

"Radical change in focus, radical change in physiology, radical change in language (inner voice, what you say to yourself) and you're in a different state!"

It works because those are the only elements inside us, that cause us to feal an emotion. Just be crazy enough to do what Tony suggests. WE(!) are the only creators of our emotions.

And probably the key hint: Go to a seminar or active coaching, cause, i after a while just had to admit it: books, tapes & instructions wont change you, you will change by experiences (= massive action or interactions with coaches)

ph03n1x88
Author:  DJ_Z [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Dude...talk to a therapist. If you are legit depressed women should be one of the last things on your mind. you need to talk to someone and try to sort out your personal issues. If you aren't happy alone, you will not be happy with a girl. Being single and depressed, sad, lonely etc will make you insecure and jealous if you should happen to find a woman.

This isn't an issue to be solved by inner game or pickup, this is an issue that needs psychological aid.
Author:  That1Guy [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 2:53 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Dude...talk to a therapist. If you are legit depressed women should be one of the last things on your mind. you need to talk to someone and try to sort out your personal issues. If you aren't happy alone, you will not be happy with a girl. Being single and depressed, sad, lonely etc will make you insecure and jealous if you should happen to find a woman.

This isn't an issue to be solved by inner game or pickup, this is an issue that needs psychological aid.
i have to throw my support in with this poster here.
hell if the therapist did not believe you have depression show her your first (and second post in this thread) {just copy paste the txt onto a word document }
if the therapist still doesn't believe you go find a different 1. some of them are just bad at there jobs, (but they got a fancy degree so there going to use it)
Author:  Tr@veler [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks everyone for the support.

I just came back from sarging some night-game. It went much better than expected. It was a huge boost, and my fellow puas/friends were there. I felt so good after I left the club like I haven't in a while.

As for the psychologist, yeah, I'm looking into that. My moods vary greatly, from very down to happy if something goes well.

Thanks again.
Author:  Marauding Pillager [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 4:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
A psychologist is useful when you need help channeling your emotions. I need to start seeing one because I've been depressed for many months now (even though I did get emotional highs), and I feel like I'm going nowhere in life. Picking up girls is one way but I havent picked up one for so long its starting to get too much.

If your depression has to do with not picking up girls, then that night should have been a good therapy, but if it is something else and you're not sure what it is, then see a therapist.

I've been in your shoes and I know what it feels like, I would go to clubs depressed and sad, and girls see that and walk away
Author:  Efildrah [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hello ,
i feel like helping you get over that situation since i was at exact same point, where i even thought of suicide, which is quite stupid since you can draw attention in many better ways :) .

3 months straight i was playing video games day and night , i didn't want to hang out with my friends, i couldn't see the point of life , etc.

Then i suddenly met this girl. She is really clever , pretty etc. but she is also a very strong and energetic person. Of course a TFG (too frustrated guy, tell me if that is wrong) like me fell in love with her.

Next 2 weeks i spent time trying to impress her, i used whole my 19-year old knowledge to get her near me and at least kiss her. She was moving to France so i knew i had low time budget. And i failed. I became her ,,best friend'' ...i am stuck in god damn stupid Friend Zone....and that is how i got here....i wanted to learn NEW skills and become a NEW man, for her and myself.

So what i suggest is, go do a bungee jump or go skiiing or even take a PUA course. You need and energy from outside since you can't provide enough to help yourself.

I was lazy until i read this thread. Now i saw that there are many people feeling like me and i think of people that write here are very brave and clever.
And i got energy i needed to go fix things in my life!!!

Together we stand!
Cheers to all PUA's and newbies like me

p.s: anyone in Belgrade , pm me please ^^
Author:  Don Draper [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
"You are what you feel you are."

You feel like shit inside, you feel as if you're a victim, you feel that the whole world is on your case and that nothing can ever go right. You feel bad. You feel wronged.

All that's negative to feel about life and situations, you do.

The first step to do here is not to join some therapy, it's not to read some self-improvement books, it's to CHANGE the way you FEEL.

It's to tell yourself, "What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I feeling like this? I'm not a loser, I don't cry. I'm gonna fight back and be a better guy. This isn't the end of the line."

And pick yourself up, every time. From every place, that you feel that it's better to just lie down and get kicked in your gut by the situation, get up and fight back. Say "No".

No, your situation won't control you.

No, your state won't affect you.

No, the people around you have no impact on you.

Because you are your own man. And you make your own decisions.

Not them.

Good luck.
Author:  M2 [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have struggled with depression myself- I know it can feel like you're in a hole and there is no end in site--frankly you do sound depressed but your therapist might know better....it does also it sounds like all of this was triggered initially by social anxiety.

Let me stop right there-

I know you blame yourself for your inadequacies-we all have them. I have yet to meet another human being who isn't insecure about something. It's ok to forgive yourself. I swear it's totally ok!!!!! You're at least trying!!!! You did great! Just getting out there is enough sometimes- you're not going to seduce the world over night! so for that- for at least making an effort- I am proud of you. Some guys just bitch and complain but change nothing. You're the brave one!

I don't think sarging is a good idea- at all- you sound like you got a lot on your shoulders, so what makes you think a woman is going to solve them? The game shouldn't all be about external stuff- if you aren't working on you at the same time- you're arent going to succeed in the long run. Work on being the best you can be- then, when you're ready. Sarge. Shit, I'll take you with me if you make it across the sea!

Third- I don't think anyone has ever told you this but, this Yank across the sea will: You're a really, REALLY interesting guy, with a lot to offer- anyone brave enough to put this out there and be as honest with yourself as you are, has got to be really interesting! Not to mention you seem really, REALLY introverted and as one myself, we have a whole world inside no one knows about. Trust me dude, you're money and you don't even know it. The sooner you realize this- the more at peace with yourself and the world you'll be.

Here- this is something some of my friends tried to tell me and then showed me this clip- it always cheers me up http://youtu.be/qhmcJ7Zg5ko

I would also get into working out. Join an amateur soccer or "football" team, or start running, or lift weights, regular exercise actually regulates chemicals in your brain better than drugs. if you're already taking something, don't stop but keep doing that and start working out. It will keep you balanced, trust me!

In the end, all you probably want to hear is "I love you" from someone- the first person you should hear it from is you. If you believe in a higher power, pray, if you're close with your Mom or Dad- talk to them and really tell them everything. Hug them...sometimes that's enough.

The last thing I will say is- you're not alone.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/