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Does "your sweet" = "just friends"?
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Author:  naismith33 [ Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:26 am ]
Post subject:  Does "your sweet" = "just friends"?

I'm in college. In one of my classes I sit next to an HB 8 and we play tic tac toe and write each other messages.

I number closed her the first class, then the second class (today) we talked about our favorite lunch spots and I told her mine. She said she'd never been there.

Since she has class tomorrow, and I don't, I offered to get her a sandwich from my place and bring it to her. (keep in mind this is all through messaging on paper)

She wrote back that that's really sweet, but that she was leaving to go home tomorrow before lunch.

Our first meeting she talked about how she lives close and goes home alot so I don't think she lying, but was it AFC to ask bring her lunch? Does her calling me sweet mean she's not into me? Any help would be appreciated

Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Fri Sep 09, 2011 7:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

You shouldn't bring her lunch. You're not her errand boy. What would be your take from that? You should have said that you two should go to your favorite lunch spot. Then you guys could share a fun time.

Her calling you sweet isn't a "Stop, I'm not interested". Other than this one thing, it sounds like you're doing ok, and no one thing can kill a well-built game. Rather, this should be a flashing warning sign, telling you that you're being a SNAG. Reel it back from that a bit, as it looks like that's really the issue.

Author:  ProfessorX [ Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

You're acting like a friend so why wouldn't she think you're a friend?

Author:  Don Draper [ Sat Sep 10, 2011 2:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

I just cannot, for the life of me, see why you asked to get her a sandwich? I mean, why sort of servant behavior was that?

Anyway, a much better thing could have been to just tell her that she's getting lunch with you, the next time you go to that place.

And her reply could simply be translated as, "Sorry. I'm not interested."

Author:  here2play [ Sat Sep 10, 2011 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does "your sweet" = "just friends"?

Quote:
but was it AFC to ask bring her lunch?

Does her calling me sweet mean she's not into me?
Yes and yes.


You are a little boy to her and a little maid. Women only desire men.

You need to spend some time learning about what women find attractive and desireable and not necessarily what they "like."

You also need to learn the difference between alpha-male type behavior and beta boy type behavior. Everything you have done so far is completely beta boy.

Women think beta boys are cute and cuddly and they like to have the boys do errands and chores and other supportive things for them but they do not desire them and they do not fuck them nor enter into romantic/sexual relationships with them.

Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Sat Sep 10, 2011 7:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I just cannot, for the life of me, see why you asked to get her a sandwich? I mean, why sort of servant behavior was that?

Anyway, a much better thing could have been to just tell her that she's getting lunch with you, the next time you go to that place.

And her reply could simply be translated as, "Sorry. I'm not interested."
I agree 100% with you, Don. But niasmith, don't get discouraged by any of this. What you've done is one goof up. I understand, because before I ever even heard of game, I was exactly the same way.

It comes from a desire to please. You and I were both taught as children by our mothers to "be nice to people", and make sure we "make people happy", as though it's some part of a big game, where if you make someone happy, they'll make you happy.

There's three problems with this:

1) You will be miserable living your life like this, just SPAM what you have for others, and getting nothing in return. Because I know the frame of mind you're working from, I know this may sound insensitive now, but hopefully you'll learn to understand it: You need to only be concerned with yourself. Find what you want, and take it. Whether it's success, girls, money, happiness, whatever, you will find the ability to do so nowhere but in yourself.

2)Women are not attracted to this. They want a man who they know can take care of himself, and knows how to push when he gets pushed, so that they know he can take care of them.

3) It's just another form of gross manipulation. If you really think about what you're doing, you're trying to bribe her to like you, or if you examine it closer, you are trying to pay for sex with your money and with your energy.

I seem to have broken the scope of your question, and I'll get off my soap box, now, but I have been where you are. And while it all looks likes sunshine in that world, it will drain you, and only make other people happy.

Don't try to manipulate her. Simply tell her what you want. "You and I are going to lunch after class today." She'll respect that a whole hell of a lot more.

Good luck!

Author:  naismith33 [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

Update: So today in class I wrote her a message saying that we should ditch and go to lunch. She said that she had already missed classes earlier in the week from being sick (which was true) and thought she should stay.

I started saying how if she had a crush on the teacher she should just say so, and that I could explain to her the readings and could dress up as the teacher if it made her feel better.

She laughed and played along with that. Last class I made a joke about how I was writing her biography, releasing it chapter by chapter and that my readers wanted to know what she was like when she ate lunch. I told her how they'd kill me if I didn't find out.

She laughed and wrote, "maybe we can work something out." I know that she had an interview after class and she wouldn't leave during. I had to stargaze tonight for a class and said that she should tag along. That my readers wanted a night chapter.

She said that she had friends visiting tonight and and that she was doing all nighters for the next couple nights because she graduates soon.

It sounded like a blowoff, but I'm not sure. What do you guys think I should next class? I was planning on phasing her out, not writing her notes like we usually do and see how she'd respond. What do you think? Am i in LJBF territory or can I dig my way out of this?

Author:  jpmorganjr [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  It was AFC to ask...

It was AFC to ask. Full stop.

Stop asking and start instructing.

Suggest at worst.

Author:  naismith33 [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

bump

Author:  ProfessorX [ Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Update: So today in class I wrote her a message saying that we should ditch and go to lunch. She said that she had already missed classes earlier in the week from being sick (which was true) and thought she should stay.

I started saying how if she had a crush on the teacher she should just say so, and that I could explain to her the readings and could dress up as the teacher if it made her feel better.

She laughed and played along with that. Last class I made a joke about how I was writing her biography, releasing it chapter by chapter and that my readers wanted to know what she was like when she ate lunch. I told her how they'd kill me if I didn't find out.

She laughed and wrote, "maybe we can work something out." I know that she had an interview after class and she wouldn't leave during. I had to stargaze tonight for a class and said that she should tag along. That my readers wanted a night chapter.

She said that she had friends visiting tonight and and that she was doing all nighters for the next couple nights because she graduates soon.

It sounded like a blowoff, but I'm not sure. What do you guys think I should next class? I was planning on phasing her out, not writing her notes like we usually do and see how she'd respond. What do you think? Am i in LJBF territory or can I dig my way out of this?
You're sure AFC'ing the hell out of her! Who knows, maybe you'll wear her down.

Author:  naismith33 [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 12:49 am ]
Post subject: 

[quote]You're sure AFC'ing the hell out of her! Who knows, maybe you'll wear her down"


How so? What did I do wrong?

Author:  ProfessorX [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 12:59 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
You're sure AFC'ing the hell out of her! Who knows, maybe you'll wear her down"


How so? What did I do wrong?
Basically you're being too cute and supplicating to this chick.

You're got to live your life and do your own thing. Invite her along if she wants to come otherwise do it without her. Or better yet, invite another girl instead. Stop letting her answers dictate your actions and be your own man.

Author:  naismith33 [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 1:11 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
"Basically you're being too cute and supplicating to this chick.

You're got to live your life and do your own thing. Invite her along if she wants to come otherwise do it without her. Or better yet, invite another girl instead. Stop letting her answers dictate your actions and be your own man."


That's what I thought I was doing. I said that I was going stargazing and that she should come along. But I'm still going even though she said she couldn't. Should I not talk to her at all next class?

Author:  naismith33 [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

bump

Author:  DJ_Z [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:31 pm ]
Post subject: 

You're sucking up to her, trying to impress her. It's not "let's go to lunch," it's "I'm going to lunch here, do you want to join me?" What's the difference? you are doing it regardless. A girl bailed on me for the bar a few nights ago. Wanna know what I did? I went to the damn bar anyways. Writing her biography? Dude you are trying to get to her with humor, and that really just won't work.

It's good to have a sense of humor, of course, but you don't want to be trying to entertain her. What I don't see in these posts are references to you touching her. Are you holding her hand, high fiving, hugging, whatever, probably the middle one would be most appropriate if you haven't done anything yet. The thing that puts guys ini the friend zone is that they try to impress girls, entertain them, or avoid seeming awkward by always staying physically far from her.

You can talk to her, just don't be her bitch. If she says hi, say hi back. If she doens't talk to you, you aren't obligated to talk to her. You sent her the invitation, now either she's acknowledges you and comes with or you go have a badass time. Hell, if she doesn't talk about it or say she's going you may as well invite another girl. Your life can't revolve around one woman.

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