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Smiling is unattractive
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Author:  GWhizz [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:29 am ]
Post subject:  Smiling is unattractive
Okay, every post that I read says that men need to smile all the time, having fun blabla.

But I ran across these articles and experienced it myself too:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/bet ... tive-women
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationship ... y-men.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/ ... adies.html

Well, there are more scientific researches that say looking 'sexy/cool/serious' is more attractive to women than smiling all the time.

So to all you people, don't look like you're a retard that smiles all day long to everone. Smile when you're having fun, nobody has fun all day long.[/url]
Author:  silverback [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the links. I've always found that really it's just knowing when to smile. In my experience those articles seem to be dead on. I find I get more looks when I'm serious but after I've met a woman, flashing the occasional smile is a good thing to show you have a sense of humor.
Author:  Cointoss [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
(first post hi everyone) Instead of looking at pseudo-science on what girls tend to like, you can also look at your own reactions to people. I've always noticed I tend to respect guys who don't smile more as opposed to those who do. It's just hard to take smiling men serious and I'm sure that most women will feel the same way.

Guys who smile all the time seem don't seem sincere and weak (as in going along with everything kind of way) in my eyes. Of course this was subconsciously at first, but I've noticed how it goes by now. I personally try not to smile too much, but I wouldn't take this "don't smile thing" the whole way. Laughing at something that is genuinely funny is different from smiling all the time in casual conversation. You don't want to be a total grinch.
Author:  GWhizz [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Psuedo science? They just show pictures of serious and smiling men to women, and women rate the attractiveness of that particular man on that moment. It was obvious that men when smiling aren't as attractive as when he's serious or looking sexy. (Looking sexy i.m.o. is more like squeezing eyes a bit and locking)

Men tend to like smiling women over serious looking women. So quite contradictorial of what attracts the opposite sex.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/ ... adies.html
which says: "The least attractive men were those who were smiling. Females even preferred a sullen or ashamed man over one who was beaming from ear to ear."

Hmm, and I'm still wondering if, when a girl makes a joke or does something funny, should you laugh really hard or like just a smile, to make her invest more in the conversation?
Author:  Cointoss [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Psuedo science? They just show pictures of serious and smiling men to women, and women rate the attractiveness of that particular man on that moment. It was obvious that men when smiling aren't as attractive as when he's serious or looking sexy. (Looking sexy i.m.o. is more like squeezing eyes a bit and locking)

Hmm, and I'm still wondering if, when a girl makes a joke or does something funny, should you laugh really hard or like just a smile, to make her invest more in the conversation?
About the science: yeah I don't disagree with the findings from personal experience but my standards for taking this kind of stuff seriously are a little higher than a tabloid article. There aren't any direct references in the articles to the actual research and no mention of the sample size. What if only 50 women participated? Furthermore I'm not familiar with the American Psychological Association so I don't know how good the stuff they publish really is. I'd be happier if it had been published in something I knew about/was more reputable. Hell even a more reputable paper like the NYT would go some way. As it is, yes, pseudo-science.

Anyway, this isn't really something to overthink. If you feel like laughing about something it would be kind of silly not to just because you think you'll look more attractive. Just don't smile when you don't really feel the need to (and if you feel the need to a whole lot then maybe supress it a little). Also, if you're worried about it, just put your hand in front of your mouth when you laugh. Maybe it helps :P
Author:  skills360 [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Smiling is unattractive
Quote:
Okay, every post that I read says that men need to smile all the time, having fun blabla.

But I ran across these articles and experienced it myself too:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/bet ... tive-women
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationship ... y-men.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/ ... adies.html

Well, there are more scientific researches that say looking 'sexy/cool/serious' is more attractive to women than smiling all the time.

So to all you people, don't look like you're a retard that smiles all day long to everone. Smile when you're having fun, nobody has fun all day long.[/url]

wowoow finally something that agrees with me, having fun yes, the smiling i do not like specially in club game, shows too much interest...
Author:  Tr@veler [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
I totally agree. Smiling shows a little too much interest. Had this today with this girl, and I smiled too much and she was already turned off. Still had a conversation, but without spark.
Author:  skills360 [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think smiling not only shows interest but also neediness, if i ever do smile i do it like this: 8) more of a cocky/arrogant little trying to smile but not smiling, kind of sexy...Dude thanks i am going to put this shit on my book!
Author:  VIKINGS [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is all so confusing... smile, don't smile, build rapport, be aloof, neg, qualify... I wonder if I'll ever get this stuff. :(
Author:  skills360 [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
This is all so confusing... smile, don't smile, build rapport, be aloof, neg, qualify... I wonder if I'll ever get this stuff. :(

Calibration, and try smiling, try not smiling, see what works for you... Not everything works for everybody...
Author:  VIKINGS [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Will do. I'm just having one of those moments when I wish self esteem came in a little blue pill... :|
Author:  Tr@veler [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I think smiling not only shows interest but also neediness, if i ever do smile i do it like this: 8) more of a cocky/arrogant little trying to smile but not smiling, kind of sexy...Dude thanks i am going to put this shit on my book!
Neediness. Yes. It definitely made me look needy today.
I just find smiling hard to turn off because I find a lot of things funny. I think it's a sign of insecurity and seeking approval on my part.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Smiling, to me, always happened when a person was trying to do two things. Either something made you happy, so you smiled, or you were trying to get on someone's good side, so you smiled to convey happiness in the hopes they would mirror you. One's honest, the other is part of persuasion. So yeah, I smile when something happens that would make me smile. I don't carry a huge grin the whole time I am talking to someone. If I'm curious, confused, upset, etc I won't smile about it.
Author:  Cockosaurus [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Will do. I'm just having one of those moments when I wish self esteem came in a little blue pill... :|
crush and mix it with Ecstasy and it does.
Author:  GeorgePH [ Sat Sep 03, 2011 8:36 am ]
Post subject: 
This is interesting. I'm naturally a very "smiley" person, so I'll see what happens when I smile less in-field.
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