PUA Forum :: botched approach (how to learn from my mistake)

So I just saw a HB10 walking down the street (the kind you only see once every 6 months). She walked past me and I smiled at her but no response. I think she saw me. I told myself, time out, let me try this again. I followed her a couple of blocks. She stopped and sat down for a minute, perfect! I crossed the street toward her and paused to build up my courage and go in (I swear I was about to go in, I have been able to build up the courage before, I just need a minute to psych myself up) Just as I made a move toward her she got up and walked in a different direction (there was a fork in the road) I smiled at her again (I think she saw me) I could not approach her because there was a wall between us and she was crossing the street.

Now at this point what was I supposed to do? Run after her and tap her on the shoulder? I'll be honest I froze up because I didn't want to seem like some weird creepy stalker considering I had already followed her for a minute and she had passed me twice. I froze up and decided the moment had passed and let her go. What is the rule on this? Is there a point where you have followed a girl and it starts to get weird? Should I have ran after her across the street?

I know ideally I should have followed the 3 second rule and gone in the first time I saw her but she was a gut wrenching 10. I mean I was sort of happy that I was at least able to look at her and smile the first time she passed. Now I am rationalizing by saying, well if it was meant to be she would have walked past me and given me a chance to approach but my heart knows that is bullshit. Sometimes a woman will do that but that is not her concern, she is a HB10 and I just didn't have what I needed at the moment.

This is the worst feeling in the world and I know I am not the only one who has been there. What is the protocol in this situation for future reference and how do I work on myself so that I can get strong enough mentally to go in immediatly? Is it just practice approaching and when I am strong enough I will finally be able to do it, and I am just not there yet? Some words of encouragement from someone who has been able to overcome this would be appreciated. Thanks guys.

Author:	enzo214 [ Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:33 pm ]
Post subject:	botched approach (how to learn from my mistake) - HELP!
So I just saw a HB10 walking down the street (the kind you only see once every 6 months). She walked past me and I smiled at her but no response. I think she saw me. I told myself, time out, let me try this again. I followed her a couple of blocks. She stopped and sat down for a minute, perfect! I crossed the street toward her and paused to build up my courage and go in (I swear I was about to go in, I have been able to build up the courage before, I just need a minute to psych myself up) Just as I made a move toward her she got up and walked in a different direction (there was a fork in the road) I smiled at her again (I think she saw me) I could not approach her because there was a wall between us and she was crossing the street. Now at this point what was I supposed to do? Run after her and tap her on the shoulder? I'll be honest I froze up because I didn't want to seem like some weird creepy stalker considering I had already followed her for a minute and she had passed me twice. I froze up and decided the moment had passed and let her go. What is the rule on this? Is there a point where you have followed a girl and it starts to get weird? Should I have ran after her across the street? I know ideally I should have followed the 3 second rule and gone in the first time I saw her but she was a gut wrenching 10. I mean I was sort of happy that I was at least able to look at her and smile the first time she passed. Now I am rationalizing by saying, well if it was meant to be she would have walked past me and given me a chance to approach but my heart knows that is bullshit. Sometimes a woman will do that but that is not her concern, she is a HB10 and I just didn't have what I needed at the moment. This is the worst feeling in the world and I know I am not the only one who has been there. What is the protocol in this situation for future reference and how do I work on myself so that I can get strong enough mentally to go in immediatly? Is it just practice approaching and when I am strong enough I will finally be able to do it, and I am just not there yet? Some words of encouragement from someone who has been able to overcome this would be appreciated. Thanks guys.

Author:	chick MAGNETO [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: botched approach (how to learn from my mistake) - HELP!
You are overanalyzing here..think like a natural..avoid 3 second rule, protocol and other jargon..when in doubt keep it simple.. I was at the park yesterday, when I saw a smoking hot blonde coming my way..I pretended to look around while thinking of something to say..unfortunately she had turned and walked into a nearby bridge..I was little late when I realised it.. What did i do? I ran after her..yes ran..she was a fast walker...I caught up with her after a good 300-400 metres..of course i stopped running when I came close to her. I walked to her side, and said " excuse me do u know where this bridge leads?" She said: " I have no idea..I am just looking around" I replied " me too..I will walk with you" we started talking while walking, and once we reached the park, spent a good 30 mins talking and I have a date with the screamer this weekend. Simple. P.S: dont walk in front of girls smiling at them..when u see a girl u like, just stop her and talk to her..naturals dont walk around smiling at girls..its subconsiously seeking approval to approach..

Author:	enzo214 [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:	thanks for the advice
Great situational awareness on your part. So you are saying it is ok to run after her even after she has already passed you once, or maybe even twice? I didn't want to create a weird vibe. I notice you employ an indirect approach, do you go indirect all the way or start indirect and then when she comes back at you raise the stakes i.e. start going direct and give IOI? Yes I see what you're saying about the smiling. Don't necessarily want to be approval seeking but I'm at the stage where an IOI is a huge encouragement for me and gives me a huge shot of confidence and helps my overall approach and sometimes I get it.

Author:	skills360 [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: botched approach (how to learn from my mistake) - HELP!
Quote: So I just saw a HB10 walking down the street (the kind you only see once every 6 months). She walked past me and I smiled at her but no response. I think she saw me. I told myself, time out, let me try this again. I followed her a couple of blocks. She stopped and sat down for a minute, perfect! I crossed the street toward her and paused to build up my courage and go in (I swear I was about to go in, I have been able to build up the courage before, I just need a minute to psych myself up) Just as I made a move toward her she got up and walked in a different direction (there was a fork in the road) I smiled at her again (I think she saw me) I could not approach her because there was a wall between us and she was crossing the street. Now at this point what was I supposed to do? Run after her and tap her on the shoulder? I'll be honest I froze up because I didn't want to seem like some weird creepy stalker considering I had already followed her for a minute and she had passed me twice. I froze up and decided the moment had passed and let her go. What is the rule on this? Is there a point where you have followed a girl and it starts to get weird? Should I have ran after her across the street? I know ideally I should have followed the 3 second rule and gone in the first time I saw her but she was a gut wrenching 10. I mean I was sort of happy that I was at least able to look at her and smile the first time she passed. Now I am rationalizing by saying, well if it was meant to be she would have walked past me and given me a chance to approach but my heart knows that is bullshit. Sometimes a woman will do that but that is not her concern, she is a HB10 and I just didn't have what I needed at the moment. This is the worst feeling in the world and I know I am not the only one who has been there. What is the protocol in this situation for future reference and how do I work on myself so that I can get strong enough mentally to go in immediatly? Is it just practice approaching and when I am strong enough I will finally be able to do it, and I am just not there yet? Some words of encouragement from someone who has been able to overcome this would be appreciated. Thanks guys. you have the answer 3 second rule broken, one of the qualities women like the most is confidence, you show lack of confidence, and they can sense it like a computer mouse...

Author:	enzo214 [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:44 pm ]
Post subject:	so your saying
If you fuck up the approach once or especially twice the moment has passed, and the lesson to learn is to prepare yourself to make a move the first time an opportunity presents itself next time.

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Author:	chick MAGNETO [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 6:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: thanks for the advice
I always go indirect and then build attraction..Thats my style.. One thing you have to realize is that moving girls are hard to talk to..If I am in a grocery store or somewhere the girl is motionless or sitting, I just smile at them or make eye contact and then talk to them.. But thats not effective in streets where girls are moving fast..if u smile or make eye contact, she will pass u within seconds..there is only one thing u can do..like i said earlier just stop them and open..if u r a beginner, have 1 or 2 prepared openers..

Author:	OG_Kdub [ Sun Sep 04, 2011 1:35 am ]
Post subject:
After the 2nd time dude its just awkward, I get it your trying to force an IOI from her by smiling if it doesn't work the 1 st time don't try it again. If you miss her on the 1st go you better make up the ground on her and make a real open. What you did lowers your value and you come of as a creepy stalker.

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