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How to handle distrust
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Author:  vert2 [ Tue Aug 30, 2011 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:  How to handle distrust
I think my gf is lying to me about petty stupid shit (and perhaps some not petty stupid shit).
I know she can be sneaky and cunning (can't all women?). She lets me know about innocent but sneaky things (lying to me so she can get time to make me cookies, etc). Which I found charming yet suspicious.
So, fast fwd to now. After we both had a night out independently she started to get strange calls/texts from a random number. I didn't even notice, but the day before I made a joke about her giving out her number to dudes and she said "I don't do that anymore, I'm with you." So, later she wakes me up and asks if we can talk. I say yes and she said one of her friends gave her (my gf's) number out to some dude at a club who was now calling/texting her. I asked why and she said in the past her friend had a bf (and my gf was single) and would do that to get guys off her back. On top of that she saved the random dude's number as the name of one of her girlfriends so "it would never become an issue" with us. But, she told me about the whole thing and claims she told off her friend and said to never do it again (typical). She was crying, it was a big deal to her. I smell fish.

I was concerned and didn't like the whole ordeal. So, I went NC for only 1 day and she kinda freaked (high interest) calling me like 4 times and sending 'I miss you' texts. We met up the next day.

Anyone know of subtle ways to gauge how trustworthy a gf is? Now I'm questioning some stuff in the past that might involve cheating.
What would your next move be, I don't wanna fall down some slippery slope of distrust but I also don't wanna waste time with a liar- it's not the last time we'll be partying away from each other. She's hot- guys will always try with her. And she's not younger; mid 20's and past her "I just wanna have fun" phase.
Just seeing what happens next w/o making a big ordeal is my current plan- but this is the 2nd major ear-perker I've gotten from this one...how many licks does a tootsie pop take?
Author:  charblad [ Tue Aug 30, 2011 8:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to handle distrust
Quote:
So, later she wakes me up and asks if we can talk. I say yes
Wrong answer, set the house on fire its easier to deal with :roll:
Anyways sounds like your already down the road of distrust, assuming shes doing something bad has already devalued her in your eyes and itll take a while to get that trust back. Always check yourself for jealousy because like you said, she will always attract guys and if you can't handle that shes not for you, but dont expect to find many women who wouln't attract guys. As for your lying test I'll let someone else deal with that because theres so many ways, some are bad and some are good, some youll like and some will get you in legal trouble. It just sounds like she got a strangers number to me, if she finds out your flippin about this she might dump you for the jealousy reason above (girls don't like distrusting jealous guys). This is shaky ground to test her, BE CARFUL.
Author:  mother_fucker_2000 [ Tue Aug 30, 2011 11:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to handle distrust
Quote:
I think my gf is lying to me about petty stupid shit (and perhaps some not petty stupid shit).
I know she can be sneaky and cunning (can't all women?). She lets me know about innocent but sneaky things (lying to me so she can get time to make me cookies, etc). Which I found charming yet suspicious.
So, fast fwd to now. After we both had a night out independently she started to get strange calls/texts from a random number. I didn't even notice, but the day before I made a joke about her giving out her number to dudes and she said "I don't do that anymore, I'm with you." So, later she wakes me up and asks if we can talk. I say yes and she said one of her friends gave her (my gf's) number out to some dude at a club who was now calling/texting her. I asked why and she said in the past her friend had a bf (and my gf was single) and would do that to get guys off her back. On top of that she saved the random dude's number as the name of one of her girlfriends so "it would never become an issue" with us. But, she told me about the whole thing and claims she told off her friend and said to never do it again (typical). She was crying, it was a big deal to her. I smell fish.

I was concerned and didn't like the whole ordeal. So, I went NC for only 1 day and she kinda freaked (high interest) calling me like 4 times and sending 'I miss you' texts. We met up the next day.

Anyone know of subtle ways to gauge how trustworthy a gf is? Now I'm questioning some stuff in the past that might involve cheating.
What would your next move be, I don't wanna fall down some slippery slope of distrust but I also don't wanna waste time with a liar- it's not the last time we'll be partying away from each other. She's hot- guys will always try with her. And she's not younger; mid 20's and past her "I just wanna have fun" phase.
Just seeing what happens next w/o making a big ordeal is my current plan- but this is the 2nd major ear-perker I've gotten from this one...how many licks does a tootsie pop take?
I do NOT recommend this for various reasons but if you REALLY want to know:

Send a post card to her address with annonimous name, see if she tells you about it or not.
Author:  vert2 [ Wed Aug 31, 2011 12:14 am ]
Post subject: 
ha.
Upon reflection, I'm less concerned with honesty "tests" than I am with how to deal with my devaluing her (nailed it charblad).

NC for a period of time seems harsh, as her interest level is pretty high (upper 90s)- it would only bring it down. If it were earlier in the relationship I'd just move her down the list and tend the other spinning plates, but it's pretty late for that.
Too stupid of a thing to drop her for, too big of a thing to ignore.
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