"OMG you are such an ASSHOLE"

Now if she says something mild like jerk, or mean, i can laugh it off, or say ya i am thanks, cuz its jokingly playful. But when they call me 'asshole' it kinda gets to me because its so rude and insulting, but i cant comment back with 'bitch' because that seems equally or more rude or insulting, maybe even a deal breaker, like for a guy to say something like this. I might have answered back on this but its so strong and comes out of nowhere, it particularly gets to me, i don't know how to answer it perfectly, i wanna answer in a punishing way which lets them know.

I need more information than just one phrase....i.e. context, previous interactions ect ect---this doesn't seem like a shit test though. This seems more flirty, but I have no info....A shit test is "Why do you have so many friends that are girls?"

Also- why do automatically assume the worst? And furthermore jump the gun and go all internet tough guy, like you're about to beat her ass for daring to call you an asshole. I routinely tell women "Why are you talking to me without a sandwich in your hand." or "I hate you so much" it's flirting. They normally respond with "fuck you, if you werent so hot you wouldn't get away with that" try and relax

It depends:

If she calls you an asshole and you have been an asshole, then there is no point in being insulted because she called you on your shit. (In fact there is almost never a reason to be insulted by anything some random girl in the field says to you, no matter how ostensibly rude.) In that case you just play it off like any other kind of push-back shit test.

If she calls you an asshole because you've had the balls to open to her and for no other reason (assuming you have more perspicacity than a fencepost and haven't just tried to pick her up when she just heard her dad died or something), then you have to pick your ammunition. Here are some possibilities, depending on HOW she calls you an asshole:

* "Pretty girl, filthy mouth - I can work with that."
* "Someone had a bad day, didn't she?"
* "Keep that up and you'll get a spanking."
* Body language - half turn, slight lean away, slightly exaggerated raised eyebrows and say to her friend, "Who pissed in her drink?"

Note--unless you are dealing with a girl who is a "negative attention seeker" (in which case number 3 above about a spanking works beautifully), this girl is probably not worth opening, but her friends may well be and may be a bit embarrassed if she is that rude for no reason.

So, if you just want to retaliate in actual asshole mode, and you don't care fuck all about the opening...

* "I haven't even started yet."
* "Well as long as we've got that cleared up, let's fuck."
* "There are two types of people in this world: Assholes and spastic, drooling, morons--you caught me."
* "I've had lots of practice dealing with people like you."

But all of that is pretty childish and isn't likely to get you anywhere. (Unless the girl is a raving bitch, in which case you might get applause.)

I am not going internet tough guy, but i think one instance was i jokingly guilt tripped by acting disappointed when she didn't up on for something or she cancelled the plan for some emergency... then i told her i was messing with her, so she called me an asshole, punching me in the arm, that time, i might have been offended or maybe not i cant remember, but sometimes i might tease them about something, or make a comment about something they dont agree with, if they call me an asshole, its like whoa that was too quick and stepping over boundaries a little..

its like me telling them, you are such a bitch with a straight face, very possibly early on of knowing them..they might think wow that is stepping over a line too fast...

This just sounds like flirty unless they actually appear angry. See stefangreyman post, those are pretty solid responses. I wouldn't guilt trip. Ever- It sounds like your ego is bruised pretty easy- it happens even to the best of us. The male ego can be a fragile thing. I would check out some inner-game stuff---and this is just my take, it doesn't mean it's true. I wouldn't take offense unless she was purposefully trying to be offensive. Nothing wrong with having boundaries, just have realistic ones.

anyway she had a boyfriend so it was completely useless anyway,

Yeah- I don't stop unless they have two rings on their finger at this point- I used to hate BF destroyer- but what the hell.

It might have been a shit test- it might not- there is no way to tell- but if she was calling you on your shit- you shouldn't even blink in response. "You know you love it" haha or one of the previous responses.

This girl also seems like a bit of the flirty type- which means she isn't used to men calling her out- she's used to making them little puddles. Make it fun, light and casual.

then it dawned on me, hold your sh'it dude