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Girl Wants to go HER way for a date???? WHAT?!
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Author:  AFCdego [ Sun May 08, 2011 1:23 am ]
Post subject:  Girl Wants to go HER way for a date???? WHAT?!
Hey gang,

I just asked this HB8 that I've been having good banter with at parties (but only short because I've had to be other places) and we always planned to meet up for a coffee sometime.
Yesterday I decided I was growing a bit bored of the girls I was seeing so may as well have a play again in the field. So I decided to throw her a text and here is roughly how the Convo went:

Dego: let's get that coffee (short, sharp, directional)

HB8: haha ok I have netball in an hour but am free after

Dego: oh I'm pretty busy today how about tomorrow arvo? (I wasn't busy but then realized after I had to lop a whole tree in the backyard)

HB8: only if it's in [suburb] :) (part shit test/frame test to see if i bend to her)

Dego: sorry no can do I only like my local cafe in [my suburb - adjacent] (show my frame)

HB8: another time I guess then (logistics and further shit test to see if i would then bend)


This played on for a little with me teasing a bit about how I chose my suburb so I knew escape routes and that if she came and was lucky I may even give her a surprise (a flower from a tree next to us when she enquired to the surprise or something silly like that).
She stuck to her guns and said that she would be in her suburb and if I am around to call her and we'll meet up and I left it at that.

Now I'm a bit unsure how to read this. From what I take it it's a frame test to see if I would bend to her frame and in retrospect I'm sure I could have reframed it and gone to her suburb but as it is what is the best course of action?

Should I organize another coffee meet in her suburb?

Or stick to my frame of my local cafe being my only offer?[/b]
Author:  AFCdego [ Tue May 10, 2011 7:08 am ]
Post subject: 
I'll add that this has happened four times now (separate chicks with slight variations).
It seems to be a battle between holding frame (which I have done on all) and not getting the date, or bending to the girls frame and getting the date.
I'm starting to believe the latter is better, I just am not sure how to reframe it as my decision to go to her

Advice would be awesome.
Author:  Newfoundman [ Tue May 10, 2011 3:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Next time you're face to face with her, neg.
Author:  TheBison [ Tue May 10, 2011 5:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah dude. First you make the girl feel lucky that you are agreeing to her terms something like "Well I guess for you I can go to (whatever place) this one time, but you owe me." Then at the end of the coffee session you talk about this other place you know that is similar but better and get her to agree to go there with you (make sure its a little out of her way)
Author:  Amadieus [ Tue May 10, 2011 7:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well after she said that she would be free in a hour, i would have go then!
Why say that you are busy? Unless you are really busy ofc ;)

But anyways this is going to start to be a game to see who bends first, these things never work out well, better to submit a bit and just take the suburbs coffee shop and have a fun date!

Like some1 else said say it in a funny way that after that coffee shop u go to a place u like!

Goodluck!
Author:  AFCdego [ Wed May 11, 2011 6:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
...make the girl feel lucky that you are agreeing to her terms something like "Well I guess for you I can go to (whatever place) this one time, but you owe me." ...
Yeah I really like this actually, gives off the alpha vibe whilst not letting her steal frame. Plus I've had similar sort of rapport with her about half a year earlier and I know she laps up the banter of who owes who what. Cheers!
Quote:
Well after she said that she would be free in a hour, i would have go then!
Haha, I had just woken up and was feeling a bit off that day (bad hangover) so decided that I would plan it for the day after, didn't expect such a good response.
Quote:
But anyways this is going to start to be a game to see who bends first, these things never work out well, better to submit a bit and just take the suburbs coffee shop and have a fun date!
Yeah actually, this is true. It's happened to me before since I have a strong frame which girls love to play with but also a strong ego which tends to attract similarly-minded girls so it always ends in a stalemate with one waiting for the other to crack and make the move (not good in the long run as she ultimately wants to be chased).

I'm thinking an appropriate plan from here is to move by renegotiating the date and when she says 'come over to my area' stoically I will use what theBison offered combined with it is so cold now (winter is setting in over here) and she wants to go to Max Brenners, a nice warm coffee/chocolate shop.

Thanks!

Any further advice won't go astray
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