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| Push-Pull / Relationship .. Help! https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=90602 |
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| Author: | thedirtymustard [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Push-Pull / Relationship .. Help! |
Hey Everyone, This is my first time posting; though I'm new to the PUA forums, I have read a good amount of literature on the subject, and have been able to put the lessons into practice with much success. Anyways, I need advice on where to go from where I am not, with respect to this girl. History: I met the girl a couple years ago while debating her friend over religion. I may have put her off a bit, but I was passionate about the subject and I think she may have noticed. Anyways, once I saw she was single I apologized over being offensive and we hung out. We went to a flea market and stuff, but at that point I haven't read anything on pua, which caused me to constantly display lower value while raising hers. I lost contact with her afterwards, and she got another boyfriend. A few months back she became single again.. I ran into her at a club and we had an amazing time dancing. Next week, we met at the club again and hung out afterwards at the park. At this point I knew what I was doing and was in control of the situation constantly. We've hung out a bit since then, and all the "dateS" have been awesome adventures.. we've hooked up the last couple nights too. She ditched studying for her finals to hang out and do stuff, so I know she likes me.. Problem though is that she still waits for me to take all the initiative with phone or text conversation, as well as hanging out. I though this was an IOD at first, but she has always been receptive to my advances, which makes me believe she just is playing it slow. Currently I'm in a sticky situation. I got to the cusp of a semi relationship, but now she is leaving for the summer and I won't see her again for a while. Being that she doesn't take text initiative much, I don't know how to keep her interest while not seeming overly needy. I feel like she didn't let herself get close enough because she understood summer was right around the corner and didn't want to be tied down over summer, which I totally understand. Before she left, I displayed a few small IOIs, as did she... but now I'm stuck.. Do I just let myself fade into memory over the next months while I travel around europe? Do I call her once a week or so in order to remain topical and increase comfort? Any information would be greatly appreciated! I've been into this girl for a couple years now, and have finally been able to capture her interest.. I don't want to loose it |
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| Author: | jaminv [ Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
A man is supposed to take the initiative, and she might just be taking a submissive role. I think that's ok. Your job is to own it. Think of it as a good thing. If she forces you to take the inititive all the time, then you control the sitation. She will do what you want her to. You might need to push the envelope a little bit. Get her to do things she normally might not want to. Since it's long distance for the summer, that might be something like cybersex or phone sex. That's just one example, but you should be able to think of a few others. The point is to push her out of her comfort zone and demonstrate that you are in control. If she doesn't follow, then she's genuinely not interested. If she does follow, then she's making an investment in you that she won't soon forget. She will be hooked without even realizing it because you brought her into your world. It may be that you will always need to take the initiative, but if you can get her out of her comfort zone then there should be no doubt about her interest. |
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| Author: | Tiger6Niner [ Fri Apr 29, 2011 5:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: and didn't want to be tied down over summer
you want a relationship and she wants this?how often do you usually text? and are you needy? |
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| Author: | thedirtymustard [ Sat Apr 30, 2011 2:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Quote: and didn't want to be tied down over summer
you want a relationship and she wants this?how often do you usually text? and are you needy? No I am not needy, and haven't come off as needy whatsoever. The last week we hung out, before she left, even though we got really close, I never mentioned anything about a relationship. I knew she was leaving soon, and to tie her down over summer would be the wrong thing to do. She asked if I'd missed her, and I brushed it off and asked her the same question. She is into me, but she doesn't take initiative with text or calling.. basically, I really don't want to fade into the background over summer. I have demonstrated value like no other, and have been able to hold her attention, but I'm not sure about what to do this summer. I don't want to come off as needy, but I want to keep talking to her so she and I have the highest possibility of getting together again after summer. I was thinking, should I call maybe once a week and just recap a bunch of awesome shit thats happened this week? I think I want to aim for maybe 10-20 minutes of phone convo per week.. how does this sound? Or should I instead just ignore her for the next two months? |
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