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Losing interest
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=8500		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  SleazyE [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Losing interest
I've had a hard time lately with follow-ups. If I had a baseball analogy I would say that I'm getting jammed with inside pitches and hitting doubles yet I can't hit it out of the park. During the past 3 months, I've hooked up several times with girls at bars and also gone out on dates and have at least made out with them. However, I've found it hard to seal the deal because a follow up meeting has not been established and they either don't call back or play hard to get. Its puzzling because they are obviously into the idea of getting down (especially the ones I've arranged dates with). What is the problem with this scenario? I'm not the one to call them constantly and this happens to me quite frequently.
Author:  f0nx [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've actually been dealing with the same problem, cant seem to seal the deal, i've hooked up with 4 girls in the past month and haven't been able to hit home run, and im not talking about just club or night sarges, one of em got interrupted by the dad comming home early just as i was about to go get the condom, one i had topless in my room and she was just being weird, 2 bar closes 1 of them is still in the picture so ill i have to figure something out.

My current theory is something along the lines of i guess buyers remorse (partially based on badboys ebook, when he covers the involvment of alchohol and the day after ect). But def in anybodys got any tips im listening cuase its frustrating as shit to see the finish line and not cross.
Author:  kickmagnet [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Follow Up Questions
How much do the two of you Push and Pull? Have either of you tried a freeze out?

That's what works best for me. In fact, the first time I used a push-pull method, I didn't realize what it was; I hadn't gotten too deep into the PUA scene yet. We started by making out on the bed and as I removed an article of clothes (hers or mine) she would get tense. I was actually just trying to be a nice guy.

KICKMAGNET: (stopping) It's cool, we don't have to do anything. I'm fine with just going to bed.
HB7: No, I want to make out.

So this goes on about four more times before her panties are off. And this time when she starts hesitating, I completely remove my body from hers.

KICKMAGNET: I'm serious. I can stop if you want to.
(But now she's naked and cold because I've removed my body heat.)
HB7: No, I want to!

So, give us some more details guys.
Author:  SleazyE [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:  !
The push-pull doesn't apply here because the circumstances have not allowed for sex the first night (friends, not the right venue, going to work early, etc). The problem is more along the lines of setting it up for the second meeting where we can continue where we first left off. Nevertheless, I love the push-pull technique!
Author:  kickmagnet [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Ah!
Well, honestly, I have trouble with this myself.

You mean, after a #close, when you call her to set something up she's kinda distant and not as interested?

I run into that problem constantly, and find that I have to get her to go on an instant date to be able to set up another date later.

In my case, though, I think I don't work enough kino before the #close. Are you *closing and still running into this problem?
Author:  SleazyE [ Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:37 am ]
Post subject:  Losing interest
Yes I'm number closing. In fact, at that point I've at least made out with them. If not, I've been close to taking it all the way. This is what makes it so vexing because I know that attraction is there so it shouldn't be such problem to close the deal. I'm also pretty certain that at least 3 don't have boyfriends.
Author:  nebu [ Fri Oct 05, 2007 5:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Losing interest
Quote:
I've had a hard time lately with follow-ups.....
Quote:
I've found it hard to seal the deal because a follow up meeting has not been established and they either don't call back or play hard to get. Its puzzling because they are obviously into the idea of getting down (especially the ones I've arranged dates with).
I have experienced similar at times.
What I have learned is that Kino is very important. It is not just the fooling around and hooking up on the first date/encounter (which is fun, but doesnt guarantee the follow up) - but moreso the sexual tension that is left from the whole interaction - a tension that leaves her thinking about you and wanting to see you again. Kino throughout the night builds this long lasting tension and desire. (although you will have to keep to it on the second date etc. one night kino doesnt last forever)

I posted a similar post a while back about closing/follow up issues - someone advised me to focus more on Kino and why - I followed advise and it has been effective.

Go close that ninth inning!!

-nebu
Author:  kickmagnet [ Sat Oct 06, 2007 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:  David Wygant
Going along with this thread of conversation, it may be that our game isn't internalized and natural enough. I was Reading David Wygant's blog and he had this to say:
Quote:
Men that perform routines objectify women, and that is why the ratio of callbacks in response to those routines is not very high. Men that try to connect with women on an authentic and real level tend to get the callbacks most of the time.
The title of that blog post was Are You An Actor Or A Person?
Author:  nebu [ Sat Oct 06, 2007 9:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Men that perform routines objectify women, and that is why the ratio of callbacks in response to those routines is not very high. Men that try to connect with women on an authentic and real level tend to get the callbacks most of the time.
Definitely an interesting quote.

I would say, though (and I am not a quoted expert, but still) that the routine - in it's being used to get ones "foot in the door" (or dick in the box - if that is the goal ;-) - does have merit.
Although running only routines and gimmicks does really impersonalize things, if it is used as an opening to get someone to know the real you - then purpose is served, and there can still be a good connection and real relationship. Obviously a tough balance... but definitely doable.

I think routines work well for openers... and then we are on our our way to the real deal of connecting with a person who might otherwise not have noticed us just because of the nature of social dynamics.

Nothing wrong with using understanding of "the game" to get an edge and the appropriate attention - so that the "special HB someone" sees the true you.

-nebu
Author:  SleazyE [ Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Interesting points of view on the matter. I also agree that openers are just ways to get your foot in the door and ultimately, it is your personality and charisma that prevail. I think that definitely wanting to leave them with more is a great idea and escalating kino is a good way to go about it. However, I think that the arousal has been there but it could be that I'm not making a more legitimate connection and not making them feel special. So I will look into it. Any more theories on the matter please bring them in. This is good stuff.
Author:  Rye [ Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Losing interest
Quote:
I've had a hard time lately with follow-ups. If I had a baseball analogy I would say that I'm getting jammed with inside pitches and hitting doubles yet I can't hit it out of the park. During the past 3 months, I've hooked up several times with girls at bars and also gone out on dates and have at least made out with them. However, I've found it hard to seal the deal because a follow up meeting has not been established and they either don't call back or play hard to get. Its puzzling because they are obviously into the idea of getting down (especially the ones I've arranged dates with). What is the problem with this scenario? I'm not the one to call them constantly and this happens to me quite frequently.
i think you need more comfort building. after you get their number, talk to them a little longer. are you the first one to leave the bar or are they? if they are, u should try being the first to leave, and also take off a ring or necklace and say like "you aren't a thief are you? this is very important to me, i want it back." this is somewhat of a lock in prop to the date comfort stage. maybe you come across as too needy? telepath too much interest during the dates? act differently at the bars as oppose o on dates? feel nervous at all? are you drunk or buzzed when you get them at the bar? more relaxed? so many factors could be affecting you performance..

remember it takes about 7-10 hours for an HB to feel comfortable with sex. this could be through phone 20 minutes here, 10 minutes there, or even in one night if you are an effective bouncer to new locations. try experimenting different strategies.

do not initiate foreplay before enough comfort has been built too, it will cause buyer's remorse.. hope this helped -Rye
Author:  SleazyE [ Sat Oct 13, 2007 9:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Losing interest
You guys are probably right. I think I might be telepathing too much interest so I can't get ahead of myself. Also, the emotional connection isn't there because I'm being selfish and don't really care about these broads. I have to work on that because its pretty apparant that they have that sixth sense about me. Thanks for the response. I will keep you guys updated.
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