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How do i just stop caring about what others think?
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Author:  Eryx [ Sun Feb 07, 2010 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:  How do i just stop caring about what others think?
I've always been like this. I always look back at things I've done and think "oh she probably thinks im weird now" or something like that. I get self conscious because im afraid ill mess up. This isnt only with girls, its also when im around friends. Sometimes i think "is this kid really my friend, he doesnt seem like it" or something similiar to that.

Im in higschool, and i hate having to live like this.

please help.
Author:  quinn013 [ Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:40 am ]
Post subject: 
with girls, if you suspect that they think of you as weird, then you probably did do something so stupid that they would think that. just redeem yourself by gaming better girls. you'll feel alot better and those girls may even be after you again.

as for your friends, you're gonna have to find another forum lol.
Author:  Bigtimereal [ Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:29 am ]
Post subject: 
You sound like a very internal person, that's how I was/am. Here's one possibility that I had came to understand about myself. You could be spending to much time going over how you think the group of people are perceiving you, both when you are with those people and when you are not (IE, your alone and thinking about how you were acting earlier in a social event.)

Doing that stuff Is a waste of mental energy. you're going to feel like shit and it's only going to diminish your confidence. You might hate your problem, but all those men and women you are talking about have insecurities too that they don't want anyone to know about. So while you are sitting their thinking they think your weird. They most likely aren't even thinking about you.

If you really wanna beat this do some research and you'll find that one of the most important things in building confidence and living a happy life is not caring what other people think about you.

Try and get out of that mind state while you're still in high school and your college experience will be much more fun.
Author:  Conker [ Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Yes, thinking about "what something meant" and "what to do next" is SHIT, it's a complete waste of time. Be in the moment and follow your desires, don't second guess yourself.

If you really want to tackle this, watch this, trust me;
http://www.attractioninstitute.org/what ... inner-game
Author:  spinstill [ Thu Feb 11, 2010 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How do i just stop caring about what others think?
Quote:
I've always been like this. I always look back at things I've done and think "oh she probably thinks im weird now" or something like that. I get self conscious because im afraid ill mess up. This isnt only with girls, its also when im around friends. Sometimes i think "is this kid really my friend, he doesnt seem like it" or something similiar to that.

Im in higschool, and i hate having to live like this.

please help.
I used to think like this then I got this attitude of thinking like "she might think I'm weird but I'll just move on and forget her" it sounds weird but thinking of all girls and people as disposable will help you care less about what people think
Author:  chrispb7 [ Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:47 am ]
Post subject: 
one thing that could really help is getting new reference experience. This will take
some guts on your part

when i say reference experience, i mean go out (to where no one knows you)
and do weird shit that takes some guts. Brad P has a whole system of exercises
built around exercises that build "social freedom." I highly suggest looking those
up and DOING THEM. Its stuff like talking to strangers, dancing in public, etc.

One you have a lot of actual experience with this sort of stuff, you will develop
the belief that it just does not matter what people think, and thats when more
results will come

You can sit in your room trying to do this passively by messing with your mind,
and doing affirmations. That could work a littttlee bit for some ppl i guess but this
is how to REALLY get stuff done, by getting out there.
Author:  Leeroy Jenkins [ Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:44 am ]
Post subject: 
shit son, even i don't have answer's for you.

fuck highschool, fuck it up it's stupid ass

don't worry though, once you're out of highschool everything is different, so much better.

trust
Author:  Smartbomb [ Mon Feb 15, 2010 7:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
when i say reference experience, i mean go out (to where no one knows you)
and do weird shit that takes some guts. Brad P has a whole system of exercises
built around exercises that build "social freedom." I highly suggest looking those
up and DOING THEM. Its stuff like talking to strangers, dancing in public, etc.
This is good advice.

I also have this issue - judging myself harshly, probably much more harshly than anyone else around me. I'd berate myself for something I did or said that was dumb. The only thing I can say that reliably makes this feeling disappear is sort of an intangible "zone" that I get in with others. It's the conversational equivalent to an athlete's zone where they just act with complete intuition, speed, grace, etc. It happens with a bit of practice and good group chemistry.

If I'm really down on myself, I also found to get around this is to get validation back from others (in a subtle way - not overtly). If you're out with a group having a blast, as them if they're having a good time. When they say yes, you can remind yourself that YOU'RE responsible for helping them have a good time. It's a good feeling. Just don't go around seeking validation from everyone and everything or you'll just come off as needy and weak.

Make a point of avoiding caustic people who are overtly rude or just act out in a nasty way. If your self-confidence is already shaky, an idiot like this can give it a crushing blow and it might be completely unintentional.
Author:  Millstone [ Thu Feb 18, 2010 2:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Watch The Secret. My buddy had severe depression fo most of his life, then he watched that movie and everything changed for the better. Good Luck!!! =]
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