PUA Forum :: Good reasons to leave my best friend?

My sticking point is all about my best friend. Why? Because (as some of you may already know) - she is also my one-itis. Now, here's the problem:

She is in a relationship, but her boyfriend is studying abroad (in the US). I've been very physical with her and we have a lot of trust in each other. You may look at this post and think: "What an asshole Zentrode is!". And you know what? You're right. I'm an asshole. I'm playing with fire and making my best friend cheat on her boyfriend - with me. Why am I doing it? Simple reason: I'm fucking weak. She's my one-itis and I simply can't say no to her.

So what is my sticking point? Well, here's the deal: She has started becoming physical with many other people. I don't mind that because I'm not her boyfriend (even though it hurt seeing her hug and kiss other people). BUT.... She has started seeing an old teacher in private. Yes, I said TEACHER. They've been going out, holding hands, kissing and yesterday - she slept at his place over the night. I know my best friend. She's very sexually frustrated and a sex addict. This is why I simply KNOW, that she had sex with that teacher that night.

She keeps denying it and says they stayed up all night "talking" in bed together. That was the lamest excuse I've ever heard. And the problem is: I created that sexually frustrated girl. I've been so fucking physical with her that she feels comfortable and safe being physical with practically anybody she finds attractive.
This makes her justify the fact that she's sleeping with other guys, while her boyfriend is in another country for 7 more months.

Now she has decided to "take a break" from her relationship so she can fuck as many guys as she wants. And it's all because of me. I have created this monster - and now I feel like abandoning my own creation.

Should I leave her? It seems like my only option because I can't fix the problem. She is from now on an extreme sex addict and it cannot be solved. She has made up her mind.

So once again: Is is the right thing to leave her? It would definitely make my own life easier, considering the fact that I'm in love with her and all...

And to answer your question: is it best to leave her? I think only you can answer that question. But I sense some jealousy here. It hurts when you see her "getting physical" with others. Don't blame her or yourself for that, it's her own decision. She isn't committed to anybody right now. She said it herself (taking a break).

The teacher thing, hmmm....authority, power, forbidden fruit...do you really think you did that? Sheesh.

She would not exactly be the first girl to cheat on a guy while he's away y'know...

READ THIS:

IT NEVER CHANGES! UNLESS YOU PULL OF SOME WICKED GAME, SHE'S NOT GONNA BE WITH YOU. YOU KNOW WHY? CUZ FOR CHICKS IT'S GROSS TO BE WITH A LONGTIME FRIEND.

This was apparently my fault because she described it like this: "Now because of you I feel more FREE to be physical with guys without having to worry a lot. You have shown me that it's okay to do these kind of things and bla bla bla bla.............."

That's why I'm concerned because I apparently "created" her. She was never like this before.

yeah man, it totally is worth it. its not the end of the world. she'll just be the one that you forget then look back on and say, "damn, she's the one that got away". but thats life for you man, just suck it up and do what you gotta do. think of it this way, ur fucking urself up by constantly thinking and being bothered by this. if you have to, then explain it to her. talk to her bout it if its such a big deal

You're right. The fact that she remains my friend kills my bit by bit every day. I seem happy with her and I love spending time with her, but it kills me inside and makes me miserable.

However, whenever I take just a bit of distance from her - she manages to get me back. She absolutely does not want me to leave her. I can't be a little pissed at her without her trying to solve it with me.

Author:	Little Panda [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Good reasons to leave my best friend?
My sticking point is all about my best friend. Why? Because (as some of you may already know) - she is also my one-itis. Now, here's the problem: She is in a relationship, but her boyfriend is studying abroad (in the US). I've been very physical with her and we have a lot of trust in each other. You may look at this post and think: "What an asshole Zentrode is!". And you know what? You're right. I'm an asshole. I'm playing with fire and making my best friend cheat on her boyfriend - with me. Why am I doing it? Simple reason: I'm fucking weak. She's my one-itis and I simply can't say no to her. So what is my sticking point? Well, here's the deal: She has started becoming physical with many other people. I don't mind that because I'm not her boyfriend (even though it hurt seeing her hug and kiss other people). BUT.... She has started seeing an old teacher in private. Yes, I said TEACHER. They've been going out, holding hands, kissing and yesterday - she slept at his place over the night. I know my best friend. She's very sexually frustrated and a sex addict. This is why I simply KNOW, that she had sex with that teacher that night. She keeps denying it and says they stayed up all night "talking" in bed together. That was the lamest excuse I've ever heard. And the problem is: I created that sexually frustrated girl. I've been so fucking physical with her that she feels comfortable and safe being physical with practically anybody she finds attractive. This makes her justify the fact that she's sleeping with other guys, while her boyfriend is in another country for 7 more months. Now she has decided to "take a break" from her relationship so she can fuck as many guys as she wants. And it's all because of me. I have created this monster - and now I feel like abandoning my own creation. Should I leave her? It seems like my only option because I can't fix the problem. She is from now on an extreme sex addict and it cannot be solved. She has made up her mind. So once again: Is is the right thing to leave her? It would definitely make my own life easier, considering the fact that I'm in love with her and all...

Author:	Mister Boss [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:
Hi. First of all, you didn't create a monster. It's in a woman's nature to have sex with other men. They want to be seduced. Being very physical with her? You're talking about intercourse I assume. Be more specific. And to answer your question: is it best to leave her? I think only you can answer that question. But I sense some jealousy here. It hurts when you see her "getting physical" with others. Don't blame her or yourself for that, it's her own decision. She isn't committed to anybody right now. She said it herself (taking a break). I would either go for her or forget her. By going for her I mean really commit to each other as in a strong relationship where cheating is unacceptable of course. Define the relationship where you take the role of a man, thus not tolerating her "getting physical" with others. Anyways, that is if you're really into her, it would mean the end of your pickup sessions too. Decide for yourself how much she really means to you. Don't leave her somewhere in the middle, as it tears you apart. Good luck,

Author:	TrueFlame [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Good reasons to leave my best friend?
Quote: My sticking point is all about my best friend. Why? Because (as some of you may already know) - she is also my one-itis. Now, here's the problem: She is in a relationship, but her boyfriend is studying abroad (in the US). I've been very physical with her and we have a lot of trust in each other. You may look at this post and think: "What an asshole Zentrode is!". And you know what? You're right. I'm an asshole. I'm playing with fire and making my best friend cheat on her boyfriend - with me. Why am I doing it? Simple reason: I'm fucking weak. She's my one-itis and I simply can't say no to her. So what is my sticking point? Well, here's the deal: She has started becoming physical with many other people. I don't mind that because I'm not her boyfriend (even though it hurt seeing her hug and kiss other people). BUT.... She has started seeing an old teacher in private. Yes, I said TEACHER. They've been going out, holding hands, kissing and yesterday - she slept at his place over the night. I know my best friend. She's very sexually frustrated and a sex addict. This is why I simply KNOW, that she had sex with that teacher that night. She keeps denying it and says they stayed up all night "talking" in bed together. That was the lamest excuse I've ever heard. And the problem is: I created that sexually frustrated girl. I've been so fucking physical with her that she feels comfortable and safe being physical with practically anybody she finds attractive. This makes her justify the fact that she's sleeping with other guys, while her boyfriend is in another country for 7 more months. Now she has decided to "take a break" from her relationship so she can fuck as many guys as she wants. And it's all because of me. I have created this monster - and now I feel like abandoning my own creation. Should I leave her? It seems like my only option because I can't fix the problem. She is from now on an extreme sex addict and it cannot be solved. She has made up her mind. So once again: Is is the right thing to leave her? It would definitely make my own life easier, considering the fact that I'm in love with her and all... I don't think you are an asshole. I do however think you are on a massive ego trip if you think are responsible for this girl's sex drive. The teacher thing, hmmm....authority, power, forbidden fruit...do you really think you did that? Sheesh. She would not exactly be the first girl to cheat on a guy while he's away y'know...

Author:	CaptRow [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:20 pm ]
Post subject:
man, no chick wants to bang her best friend. and do you really want a girl that fucked her teacher? thats shiesty. and she's cheating on her boy? wow. u still want her? ...he's prolly cheating on her. dude, forget her. she's just pullin you on a string in my opinion, and it's totally not worth it. READ THIS: IT NEVER CHANGES! UNLESS YOU PULL OF SOME WICKED GAME, SHE'S NOT GONNA BE WITH YOU. YOU KNOW WHY? CUZ FOR CHICKS IT'S GROSS TO BE WITH A LONGTIME FRIEND. minister boss said only you can say if you wanna leave her or not, but im telling you now: just leave her. this is whack

Author:	Little Panda [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:25 pm ]
Post subject:
I have read every reply here and I gotta say: All of you make excellent points. But guess what guys? As mentioned, she is not only my best friend - she is also my one-itis. I have realized OVER AND OVER again that she is NOT the girl for me. As a matter of fact, I STAY AWAY from girls with her personality because I don't respect them and I don't want them in my life. However, love is wicked. I can't let go of her, even though I feel like I should. ------------------------REPLYING TO QUOTES------------------------ Quote: And to answer your question: is it best to leave her? I think only you can answer that question. But I sense some jealousy here. It hurts when you see her "getting physical" with others. Don't blame her or yourself for that, it's her own decision. She isn't committed to anybody right now. She said it herself (taking a break). Well, she's not on a break YET. But she will be by the end of the week. And it's because my jealousy hurts me that I'm wondering if I should leave her or not :/ Quote: The teacher thing, hmmm....authority, power, forbidden fruit...do you really think you did that? Sheesh. She would not exactly be the first girl to cheat on a guy while he's away y'know... This was apparently my fault because she described it like this: "Now because of you I feel more FREE to be physical with guys without having to worry a lot. You have shown me that it's okay to do these kind of things and bla bla bla bla.............." That's why I'm concerned because I apparently "created" her. She was never like this before. Quote: READ THIS: IT NEVER CHANGES! UNLESS YOU PULL OF SOME WICKED GAME, SHE'S NOT GONNA BE WITH YOU. YOU KNOW WHY? CUZ FOR CHICKS IT'S GROSS TO BE WITH A LONGTIME FRIEND. Are you sure about this? I'm not being sarcastic - this is an actual question. Because I think I've been pathetically having a vague flame of hope in me that she will choose me over her best friend. So are you absolutely certain that this imagination is impossible to actually happen?

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Author:	Little Panda [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Good reasons to leave my best friend?
(Sorry for double post - didn't mean to)

Author:	TheJ [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: This was apparently my fault because she described it like this: "Now because of you I feel more FREE to be physical with guys without having to worry a lot. You have shown me that it's okay to do these kind of things and bla bla bla bla.............." That's why I'm concerned because I apparently "created" her. She was never like this before. All I got to say is wow, she is weak. Blaming you for her behavior. That is very weak. Seriously this girl will wake up in 2-3 years wondering where all the quality people in her life went.

Author:	Little Panda [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Actually, she's not blaming me. She sees this as a GOOD thing. She THANKS me for it. Yeah, she's wacko sometimes.

Author:	sinsitive [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:57 am ]
Post subject:
Well do you want such a slut to be your best friend? I mean.. if she's your fuck budy.. but a best buddy should have something more than this right? Especially if it's your one-itis. How big is the chance you'll be with her? Also when you are and you're in bed with her... imagine that the teacher was there before you. Seriously ditch her. Certain things just come to an end, simple as that. Don't lower your value but higher it. Make her know that even for friends she's not good enough anymore.. you lost respect or something.. which I seriously would btw. Just try to hang out with other girls a bit more often and ignore her... hope it all works out. Otherwise you keep hurting yourself and making you look like an AFC. Good luck man!

Author:	CaptRow [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:48 pm ]
Post subject:
haha that's cute "love" man im not trying to bash you at all or anything, but you said it urself: she's not the girl for you. then why even try to pursue her?? man, she's not getting with you. extinguish that flame already. i bet that everyone who posted here was in a similar situation as you, so we're talking from experience. by posting ur problem up here, ur just waiting for someone to magically tell you that everything is gonna be alright and u 2 will get together, it ain't hapenin. a friend of mine, lets call him Bob, was "in love" with this girl since grammar school....we're in college now. he desperately tried to get with her for years, literally. guess who dated her for 3 months then dumped her? not him, CaptRow baby. ur life isnt a movie, its reality. just accept it bro. more time you spend working on her, the more time you waste not gaming other girls. be strong

Author:	Little Panda [ Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:11 pm ]
Post subject:
Sorry guys, I've been busy these days so I haven't checked my thread in a few days. Okay, I see what you guys are trying to tell me. But think about it this way: She is not only my one-itis, but she's my best friend as well. And here is the problem. She's in my school and we're in for our toughest year ever. Also, her boyfriend is studying in the US, so I'M ALL SHE HAS. If I leave her now - It will (and I guarantee you) fuck her up completely. Is it worth leaving her even though it means it will destroy her own life as well? Thank you for the replies so far.

Author:	CaptRow [ Fri Nov 20, 2009 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:
yeah man, it totally is worth it. its not the end of the world. she'll just be the one that you forget then look back on and say, "damn, she's the one that got away". but thats life for you man, just suck it up and do what you gotta do. think of it this way, ur fucking urself up by constantly thinking and being bothered by this. if you have to, then explain it to her. talk to her bout it if its such a big deal

Author:	Little Panda [ Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: yeah man, it totally is worth it. its not the end of the world. she'll just be the one that you forget then look back on and say, "damn, she's the one that got away". but thats life for you man, just suck it up and do what you gotta do. think of it this way, ur fucking urself up by constantly thinking and being bothered by this. if you have to, then explain it to her. talk to her bout it if its such a big deal You're right. The fact that she remains my friend kills my bit by bit every day. I seem happy with her and I love spending time with her, but it kills me inside and makes me miserable. However, whenever I take just a bit of distance from her - she manages to get me back. She absolutely does not want me to leave her. I can't be a little pissed at her without her trying to solve it with me.

Author:	AbelBlade [ Tue Nov 24, 2009 2:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You're right. The fact that she remains my friend kills my bit by bit every day. I seem happy with her and I love spending time with her, but it kills me inside and makes me miserable. However, whenever I take just a bit of distance from her - she manages to get me back. She absolutely does not want me to leave her. I can't be a little pissed at her without her trying to solve it with me. I've been in this situation myself in the past and eventually realized that leaving was the thing to do, it's going to bother you and you WILL want to go back, but don't. Here's the thing, if she wants to be with you, when you leave, she'll do one of two things. 1: Drop everything in the moment to get you back, and make it very obvious it's what she wants. or 2: Beat herself up over not making it happen. I need you to notice something here, and not STRESS over the fact it's GOING to hurt her. Both of these options are self destructive, if she's dropping everything for you she has a clear lack of self respect and independence. If she beat's herself up over it, she is questioning her own judgment and therefor has a low self esteem and "Inner state". -The question you need to ask yourself, is how will you handle the situation if she comes running back, knowing that information? Are you willing to lower yourself as a PUA and an ALPHA MALE, to take in and be with someone who is clearly self destructive?- Also. If you truly loved her you would have been the one to move forward regardless of boundaries and spoken your mind, if you have not voiced this, you need to create a proper setting and do so. I know, this goes against everything you are taught when becoming and being a PUA, but it's true. Without action there is no possible chance of reconciliation. -IF she doesn't do either of those things, you know she doesn't want to be with you. Think about it, it's a win-win situation, you are either in the position of power (having control as a PUA should.) Because she's come back to you ASKING for you back and telling you what she wants. Or you KNOW what you've been WONDERING.- Hope it helps. -Abel

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Author:	Little Panda [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the post. I have now finally made my decision. I will most probably leave her. Here's my question now: How should I do it? Should I tell her I have feelings for her and therefore can't be with her etc. Or... The hard way, and just blame it on the fact that she's the kind of person I don't want in my life etc? All advice appreciated!