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Struggle to make conversation and not just with girls....
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Author:  abcdef123456 [ Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Struggle to make conversation and not just with girls....

Hi poeple.I have trouble making conversation with anyone - even my own parents. I can talk to loud people because they make the conversation and I just respond, but if they have nothing to say, I struggle to come up with anything to say. I've tried talking to as many people as possible, and it has helped a little bit, but I rstill run out of things to say very quickly unless they have something to say. Sometimes I find it hard to come up with anything to respond to rhtheir questions other than ''cool'' or ''oh right'', or just ''yes'' and ''no''. Can anyone help me out? I mean I don't want to use routines, I want to have the ability to come up with conversation spontaniously and naturally. Does anyone have any tips on how to improve this?

Author:  RVAIS [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:00 am ]
Post subject: 

I have this same problem and I think most people even good looking females struggle with this problem. I guess we just have to be our selves and open up a line of communication find something in common throw it out their see what happens dont chase the conversation.

Author:  xibuz [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:20 am ]
Post subject: 

Same exxact shit goin on with me.

Part of it is just my personality, which is direct no bullshit get to the fuckin point. So I'm usually silent or one-word answering when people try to small talk me. I also emotionally distant when talking to people and everyone describes me as robotic in the way I interact.

But looking at my successes in human interaction, I've found that when I do have good conversation with people, its not serious, its when we're all just fuckin around having fun. Situations like shootin the shit with coworkers in the back, or exchanging funny comments with a girl I just met.

When your out somewhere where it doesn't fukken matter what peoples reaction is (outside of work or home if u live with your 'rents), u can try all sorts of wacky random spontaneous cocky funny bizarre shit to start a non-serious convo with. Replying to yer post and thinking, I actually discovered this is probably the best way for someone like me to have more and better sarges. Tomorrow on the beach I can be like excuse me, I'm lost, can you tell me whick way is the ocean? Or just Hey, your epidermis is showing. Try it.

Author:  Cornflake [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:57 am ]
Post subject: 

My advice to you guys is to find interesting topics to bring up in the case of awkward moments that will make everyone engaged in the conversation and allow you guys to responde more instead of instigating the conversation which you seem to be more comfortable with.

Find interesting things on youtube and then bringing it up in conversation, I would recommend watching Sxephil/phillipdefranco on youtube, his videos are very interesting and can help you create conversation starters such as the girl who woke up with 45 tattoos on her face, the girl who had a open legged no underwear type embarassing yearbook photo of her etc... and then expand on these stories by asking peoples opinions on specific details of the story. This may be routinish but if its the news then bringing it up is very normal anways. I would just recommend you make mental notes on what your talkative loud friends do and try and imitate it. Watch stand up comedy and notice the tonality and use of body gestures and it will make you much more socially active and aware... Hope this helps. :)

Author:  WillingLearner [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 5:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

I myself often get stuck in the "silent zone". I think the cause of that is generally a lack of regular interaction. For myself it's usually the case of trying to think of something cool or interesting to say and just getting stuck in my head.

My advice: Try to get out of your head and really listen to what people are saying. Your mind generally comes up with topics based on what you head and you just roll with one even if it's not that "interesting". Have an interesting story or a fact, prepared and then when you listen to responses listen to the words people use and where you can take the conversation next. If anything else fails, try to talk about commonalities (a little cold reading might be useful here). And if that fails,

THE SURE-FIRE TECHNIQUE TO SOLVE THIS IS: ASK QUESTIONS (People love to talk about themselves)

Author:  Nightfall [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 2:46 pm ]
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Definitely agree. The only way you're going to flow in conversations is if you just start talking. When you meet random people try and see how much rapport you can build from them not knowing you, all the way to laughing and maybe even staying in contact. Start small like: "Hey, how's it goin?". The more you talk to people the more your conversations are going to flow, and the less you'll get the "why are you talking to me?" 'look'.

I was at a concert this weekend and started chatting with a group of people, they responded well but then it got strange cause I didn't know them, so I said "Wait a minute... I don't even know you?" really light hearted or somethin. I tried it with different groups and then they totally responded well and from then on I was just one of them. Then I just introduced them to my friends. Just yesterday I was talking to some girl I met at the video store, I didn't want to pick her up so I used it as practice. Don't tell me practice doesn't make perfect =)

Try reading 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie for extra effort. And even if u don't read it, put it on your coffee table so u appear intellectual.

Author:  abcdef123456 [ Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for the help guys :)

Author:  alpha_seeker [ Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

Live a fun, attractive lifestyle. Learn some new stuff. Do things you love to see, watch and do. Just have fun with your life and you'll have plenty of stuff to talk about with people. Sure not all conversations can last 2 hours or more, but as you get used to talking to people you'll learn how to carry on the conversation and will know how to make the conversation more fun. By making it more fun a regular 10 minute conversation can turn into a 20, 30 minute conversation.

Author:  Charlie0 [ Fri Jul 24, 2009 7:27 am ]
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Do things you've always wanted to do, but for no reason really, haven't.

In other words: Get some hobbies. Be passionate about something. My friend is into bonzai and being a makeup artist. Old people do bonzai and the type of 'artist' he is aspiring to be is the kind that's only really cool during Halloween. He lives at home with his mom and can't seem to find a decent job, yet he gets women all the time because he has things he's passionate about.

Author:  Stuck [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:19 am ]
Post subject: 

Hey man, I know where you are coming from. My advice is

Try to ask "open" questions questions that use who/what/when/how/why - questions that don't end with a simple "yes" or "no" answer. most people love talking about themselves and you can keep a conversation going by continuing to ask open questions. you don't even need to talk much about yourself, keep the conversation centered on them. and you will leave with a good impression as being a good listener which is a good thing :)

good luck :)

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