Here's a snippet of an article I am working on for the new rsdnation.com that is coming out...
Quote: How to Build a Strong Physical Connection in Under 60 Seconds
Most discussions on how to interact with women deal with what to say.
To an extent, what you say is important, but as the common adage goes “90% of communication is nonverbal.”
Just think.
How long have human beings been in existence? 200,000 years or so…
For how many of those years have we been able to communicate verbally? Probably about 3,000…
So for the majority of our existence we have been communicating NONVERBALLY.
But you hear of Don Juan and Casanova swooning women with their words. Realize what these stories actually are… STORIES!
You can’t expect to TALK your way into a girl’s heart.
So how do you build attraction and move things in the right direction without talking?
PHYSICAL TOUCH.
You need to get to a point where you are completely comfortable touching a girl throughout the conversation.
RIGHT OFF THE BAT. You don’t want to be waiting 5-6 minutes into the conversation until the idea pops into your head, “Oooops, I haven’t touched her yet, I better start now.”
Too late.
You need to initiate FROM THE BEGINNING. The second you start talking to the girl you should already be touching her. It’s as easy as tapping her on the shoulder, giving a high five, or shaking their hand.
Have your first impression be of someone who is naturally just a touchy-feely guy.
Once this precedent is set, keep escalating!
Slowly escalate things in the proper direction. You can’t talk with the girl all night, not touching her, and expect to get home and just jump on top of each other and start going at it.
Usually before you sleep with the girl, you more than likely need to kiss her. But before you can kiss her, you’ll probably hug her first.
You want to continually be moving things in the right direction…
Through months of research and arduous experimentation I have developed a steadfast rule that will get you dramatic results. ; )
Don’t worry, it’s easy to remember…
And even easier to do…
The One Minute Rule
Within the first minute of any interaction, you MUST hug the girl!
No questions asked. No scenario where this isn't possible. No situation where it won't lead to a better outcome.
"But she is with some guy, it might be her boyfriend."
-Doesn't matter. You can still hug the girl, and at least you will find out early in the interaction if she is taken.
"Everyone is looking, and she might get weirded out."
-Girls are never weirded out by hugs. They love hugs!!!
"I need a reason to hug the girl."
-Simple qualification. "Oh you came out tonight?!? Give me a hug for coming out tonight!!!"
"Aren't you trying to be indirect? Neg the target? Befriend the group?"
-Whatever, hug the whole group, and forget about indirect game...
The One Minute Rule
Hugging a girl early in set conveys so many strong qualities about yourself:
Confidence
Dominance
Assertiveness
Comfortable in intimate situations with females
Friendliness
Sexuality
It portrays that you take what you want.
That you have integrity. You are not held back by what others think of you and social norms. You have your own agenda, and are able to communicate from your core.
It conveys that you are passionate, that you are comfortable with sex. You know what you are doing and have been there before.
You are putting your balls on the line and LEADING which allows her to open up and not be worried about being judged.
The one minute rule will jumpstart your interactions, and help overcome some of the most common pitfalls:
RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY
You don't need to worry as much about what you say because it will automatically be sexually charged. The weather is way more interesting when you are holding onto her hips.
NOT BUILDING ENOUGH ATTRACTION
By getting physical early, you convey yourself as a sexual being. It shows you are more assertive and confident in yourself and how you interact with others. You take what you want and aren’t held back by social constraints.
These are all VERY attractive qualities.
INABILITY TO CLOSE
Since you have a higher level of attraction it expedites the process of closing. She will be in a better mood/state and more willing to give you her number/venue change/makeout...
By setting the groundwork early that you are a physical guy, it greases the gears, making every other physical barrier easier to cross i.e. kissing, sexing.
Also, escalating quickly is a way to “test the waters.” You have a better understanding of where the girl is at in the interaction. Try to go for the hug or kiss and see if she is compliant. You might be further along in the interaction than you think, and you can stop “gaming” and just get out of the club!
REMEMBER…
Within the first minute of any interaction, you MUST hug the girl!
Are you still having trouble wrapping your head around the idea that girls actually APPRECIATE it when you get physical? That they aren’t going to get mad at you?
Realize this…
You are more likely to get blown out from NOT escalating than OVER escalating.
Seems counter intuitive right?
Guys are afraid to dive in and get physical because they think the girl is going to slap them or run away. But realize that by not moving things forward, you are shooting yourself in the foot.
The interaction is bound to stale out because she will slowly realize that you are a chode, afraid to lead and take the next step.
There is usually only a small window for when it is right to kiss the girl, or isolate her, and if you miss it… You are done son!!!
So get comfortable pushing the interaction, and go screw it up a couple of times. At some point you will realize that you can get physical way earlier than you ever thought possible.
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Hope it helps!