PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Neediness When atracted
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=208608
Page 2 of 2

Author:  TheLoveDr [ Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Quote:
In general I don't show neediness I am a pretty ladeback guy but the problem I keep having is that when I am atracted to a girl she's in my head and I exibit neediness towards her ... if it's in the club let's say or at a bar I know what to amd since I know it's for a short period of time I get a hold of myself . Let's say I see her 5 times on campus I talk to her maybe twice if I am not atracted .If I am , I try to game her every chance I get for example and I end up not giving her space ... I noticed this over time and I don't know how to deal with this ... neediness is a turn off . I haven't asked out the girl I am atracted to now for example yet because I know if I did I 'd get rejected since I am exibiting neediness . I need to exibit indiference ( if you teach me how ) let it cook for a while and then I ask her out ( so by that I would have built some value )

I know exactly what you mean. I've had this with many girls and I'm kind of having it with this girl I just met. So, there's a couple things here that I want to point out.
One- A girl will never make you feel fulfilled. Never. You have to address feeling happy and fulfilled on your own. Men look for women to make them feel happy and good, and to an extent, women do do that, definitely, but it's more of a cherry on top of a sundae rather than them being the sundae themselves. I know it feels like the cherry can replace the whole sundae, but it cannot. It never will.
When I hear about guys consistently feeling needy with women to the point where it stops them from asking out women they really like, then, it sounds like you just feel needy in general in your life. Wether it's toward other people or just other things, such as video games, porn, internet, social media, etc. You have to create a life where you are enough and you don't always need external things to make you happy.
Secondly- be the same guy. A lot of times, guys stop doing what works. They'll act super cool and aloof in the beginning , then , they'll start acting like wussies as time goes by. No, act like they guy she met in the beginning. Be that guy. It's what worked.
On a similar note, DON'T pretend to be someone you're not. Yes, be the best you, be the confident you, be the cool you, be the alpha you, and keep being that guy, but don't pretend to be someone you're not just to impress her. Because later, she'll sniff it out and that's what happens when women show interest the first or second time, and then after discovering you're a phony, they're gone. Do what you want, say what's on your mind, qualify her, etc. You're auditioning her to be in your life, not the other way around.

Author:  felipe89 [ Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

For these kind of women that you're not seriously dating or in a relationship with I suggest keeping things informal... you will inadvertently give her too much emphasis and affection...

If he's already fucked up is there a way to salvage the connection? does it depend on the girls initial attraction and interest?

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Quote:
If he's already fucked up is there a way to salvage the connection?
Yes, the man pulls back and lets her initiate contact. It's what I call a "needy cleanse".

Now, if you've never had sex with the girl, and she nexts you, then it's toast.


Quote:
does it depend on the girls initial attraction and interest?
Yep.

Author:  Basic fucking idiot [ Sat Nov 25, 2017 4:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Any subtle lines to indicate interest ? When I say subtle I don't mean you're cute ... I usually talk about the girl's clothes ... so let's say if she wores a short dress yesterday , I'll ask her why isn't she wearing that dress again .... but around winter this line isn't really valid ... any ideas ?

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sun Nov 26, 2017 1:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Direct eye contact, and a smirk. Hold yours until she breaks her gaze.

Author:  Basic fucking idiot [ Sun Nov 26, 2017 3:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

I need more of a statement , eye contact is what I usually do hence the thread

Author:  felipe89 [ Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Quote:
Quote:
Now, if you've never had sex with the girl, and she texts you, then it's toast.
Arch Stanton elaborate.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Quote:
I need more of a statement , eye contact is what I usually do hence the thread

Direct eye contact, and holding it until she breaks away is telling a woman you're interested.

After a drink, then ask her back to your place.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Now, if you've never had sex with the girl, and she texts you, then it's toast.
Arch Stanton elaborate.
If a girl whom you've never had sex with keeps ghosting you, or blowing you off, you will never sleep with her.

Women return to men (it could be weeks or months) who provide value. Men provide value in early courtship in these ways:

1. Chill, fun personality.
2. Dominant, confident behavior.
3. Looks/physique.
4. Bedroom skills.

you have to have provided at least ONE of those values, at a very high level for women to return to you, or want to see you in person multiple times.

You destroy her impression of your value when you over-contact (wipes out the chill/fun value), when you act passive (wipes out the dominant/confident value), when you are in "just okay" shape (looks/physique value) and when you aren't that great in bed (wipes out bedroom skills value).

Most men are UNABLE to achieve ANY of those early courtship values at very high levels. It's why so many girls next men relentlessly.

a man who can hit all of those values, at high levels, is going to have women BEGGING to come over.

Pickup is NOT about the woman. It's about how YOU show up. It's about improving all facets of your life, until you have such social value that YOU become the person who does the nexting/dumping.

Author:  felipe89 [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

"show value" is overstated. I live in quite possibly the most superficial city in the u.s. and a owner of a cafe I know picks up beautiful women because of his confidence, and emotional intelligence

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Quote:
a owner of a cafe I know picks up beautiful women because of his confidence, and emotional intelligence

So how is that not showing value? It hits on two of my four early courtship value points, "confidence", and "chill/centered".

Most men are not emotionally intelligent.

Author:  Basic fucking idiot [ Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Neediness When atracted

Quote:
Quote:
I need more of a statement , eye contact is what I usually do hence the thread

Direct eye contact, and holding it until she breaks away is telling a woman you're interested.

After a drink, then ask her back to your place.
Sure that works but I am working with an introverted girl here I don't think she likes to go for a drink so I am going for day game here ....

Page 2 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/