In general I don't show neediness I am a pretty ladeback guy but the problem I keep having is that when I am atracted to a girl she's in my head and I exibit neediness towards her ... if it's in the club let's say or at a bar I know what to amd since I know it's for a short period of time I get a hold of myself . Let's say I see her 5 times on campus I talk to her maybe twice if I am not atracted .If I am , I try to game her every chance I get for example and I end up not giving her space ... I noticed this over time and I don't know how to deal with this ... neediness is a turn off . I haven't asked out the girl I am atracted to now for example yet because I know if I did I 'd get rejected since I am exibiting neediness . I need to exibit indiference ( if you teach me how ) let it cook for a while and then I ask her out ( so by that I would have built some value )
I know exactly what you mean. I've had this with many girls and I'm kind of having it with this girl I just met. So, there's a couple things here that I want to point out.
One- A girl will never make you feel fulfilled. Never. You have to address feeling happy and fulfilled on your own. Men look for women to make them feel happy and good, and to an extent, women do do that, definitely, but it's more of a cherry on top of a sundae rather than them being the sundae themselves. I know it feels like the cherry can replace the whole sundae, but it cannot. It never will.
When I hear about guys consistently feeling needy with women to the point where it stops them from asking out women they really like, then, it sounds like you just feel needy in general in your life. Wether it's toward other people or just other things, such as video games, porn, internet, social media, etc. You have to create a life where you are enough and you don't always need external things to make you happy.
Secondly- be the same guy. A lot of times, guys stop doing what works. They'll act super cool and aloof in the beginning , then , they'll start acting like wussies as time goes by. No, act like they guy she met in the beginning. Be that guy. It's what worked.
On a similar note, DON'T pretend to be someone you're not. Yes, be the best you, be the confident you, be the cool you, be the alpha you, and keep being that guy, but don't pretend to be someone you're not just to impress her. Because later, she'll sniff it out and that's what happens when women show interest the first or second time, and then after discovering you're a phony, they're gone. Do what you want, say what's on your mind, qualify her, etc. You're auditioning her to be in your life, not the other way around.